Let’s All Be Like Betty White

Or At Least Try To Be

Is it possible to love everybody all the time, not so much in the kissy-kissy/suck-face kind of way, but to be pleasant and cordial 24–7, you know, like Golden Girls star Betty White has done for decades?

According to what White once noted to talk show host Larry King, that’s why fellow Golden star Bea Arthur apparently disliked her in real life. White had too much of a Pollyanna view of life for Arthur’s taste.

But Betty must have been doing something right because she lived to 99-years-old, while Bea, bless her heart, passed 12 years before. And that begs a few questions.

If Bea had thrown more “I love you’s” around at every turn, maybe she would have lived as long as Betty, even if her sentiments may or may not have been sincere? Is blanket-loving everyone, everywhere not an authentic way to live? Is behaving with unconditional kindness, and understanding equal to keeping one’s head in the sand and ignoring and refusing to acknowledge the various evils of the world? Is embracing all the hate, on and off social media, for example, the answer? Or would that answer instead have something more to do with retreat said-head back into that sand?

Like Betty White, I’m an optimist, at times, maybe selfishly so. Medical research for decades has confirmed the various health benefits of retaining a positive attitude; to remain upbeat in the face of the challenge, etc. So, I want to live a long time, and if walking around, being as pleasant as possible to everyone I meet is going to help me do that, dang — I’m all in!

But Seriously, Folks

But seriously, folks, and of course, cordially — the question becomes this:

Is it even possible to love everyone, all the time in this world, which many, scientists, optimists, and religious-minded-sorts alike have suggested and labeled as broken? Can such a troubled world be fixed by unconditional loving-kindness? Does this kind of loving mean that everyone has to agree with everyone else on a frequent, consistent basis? What about loving those who are not kind people or who constantly say and do hurtful things? Are we supposed to love them, too?

The answer is yes, according to, for example, Christianity. And as I frequently make sure to note, I’m not pushing Jesus one way or the other because I don’t give a flying fig what anyone’s religious or spiritual beliefs are, as long as they are, well, loving-kind. And quite frankly, I don’t think God gives a flying fig about what anyone’s religious and or spiritual beliefs are either.

But that’s just me, and I digress, while in Matthew 5:44–45, an evolved, historic, and more authoritative Jesus said, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven…He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”

A more mainstream definition of love appears in 1 Corinthians 13:4–5: “Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs.”

I guess that no “self-seeking” stuff forces me to reconsider being nice to people all the time just to live longer. Maybe I should try to be nice just to be nice, without there being anything in it for me?

Yeah — that’s the ticket: Sincerity is the word. In the pop culture world of music, even The Beatles noted as such in more than a few of their classic tunes. “All we need is love.” “The word is love. that the word is Love, or that all we “need is love.” Years later, fellow-music-gurus England Dan and John Ford Coley proclaimed, “love is the answer.”

So, Where Does That Leave “Evil”?

Evil is an intense word, certainly in view of the world today, with the tremendous gluttony of hate that pervades the news and subsequently our lives on a daily basis. It does seem like something very un-love-like is on an ever-present attack.

Fortunately, whether we believe in any kind of all-pervasive heavenly or good-type superior being that runs the Universe, in many instances it seems that evil tends to fade away by way of love; and that ultimately, people are not inherently evil. But rather, evil sometimes encompasses and overcomes good people.

When it comes to unconditional love, my take is this:

We are all born perfect into an imperfect world. What happens afterward is ultimately up to those who raise us, our environment, and our early education, in and outside of formal academia.

After that, it’s just up to us. Our personal decisions and life choices are based on the knowledge we amass as children, and the wisdom we acquire through life experience and maturity.

That’s not being Jesus-like or Pollyanna. Just realistic. And I’m not keeping my head in the sand. I am constantly trying to rise above the sand — and the curve. Truth is, I support anyone who loves everyone. I do not support anyone who hates anyone. And while I don’t love everyone I meet, I don’t hate a soul.

And for those who may love or hate me, I am not going anywhere. I embrace those who appreciate me. And while I don’t retreat from detractors, I’m not one to fight back. That’s what the haters…the bullies of the imperfect world want the belittled to do. So, I tend to refuse to give them what they want and/or give them the satisfaction. I used to be bullied a lot as a kid. I know the deal. Whenever I would seek to retaliate against my attackers in some way, my mom, the beautiful soul that she was, would tell me, “Don’t you dare, Herbie J. Don’t you dirty your hands. Don’t be like them.”

Laugh in the Face Of A Bully — And Call It A Day

Humor, when inoffensive, is a form of love, which in turn, of course, is always a good choice in confronting or rather diffusing conflict and hate.

Violence is never the answer, on neither a personal nor global scale. With my second Beatles reference of the day, John Lennon, seemingly expanding on and sounding very much like my Mom, once said, “When it gets down to having to use violence, then you are playing the system’s game. The establishment will irritate you — pull your beard, flick your face — to make you fight. Because once they’ve got you violent, they know how to handle you. The only thing they don’t know how to handle is non-violence and humor.”

In other words, let the haters hate themselves, and let the lovers, kissy-kissy/suck-face and beyond, rise above it all.

To those who want to retreat from life or social media for that matter, I say, Stay! Do not respond to the hate with more hate. Ignore the hate. If enough of us ignore the hate, it goes away, while those who love remain and also stay.

In doing so, the lovers shine bright with smiles and steadiness and integrity and humor and non-violence, while the haters destroy themselves and fade away into nothingness — or maybe sometimes, reconfigure themselves by the loving examples of others.

There is an inherent law of the Universe for every good religion and spiritual belief, and maybe a few scientists, agnostics, and atheists, too:

Whatever we focus on, expands. Focus on the not-so-great, and things get worse. Focus on the good and grand, and things get better.

Everything is better with love — and a little Betty White sentiment.

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