Let there be space in your togetherness

Summary

The article discusses the concept of detachment as a path to a more sustainable lifestyle, drawing from Eastern philosophies and a personal anecdote from Bali.

Abstract

The article titled "Let there be space in your togetherness" explores the idea that embracing detachment can lead to a more sustainable lifestyle. It references a Balinese friend's practice of spending 33 days in a mountain-top temple to detach from his family, highlighting the struggle and eventual peace he found. The piece delves into the philosophical underpinnings of detachment in religions such as Hinduism, Jainism, Taoism, and Buddhism, emphasizing the Sanskrit term 'Vairagya,' which denotes a state of mind essential for spiritual growth and balance. The author suggests that our attachment to material desires fuels overconsumption and dissatisfaction, proposing that detachment could be key to sustainable living. The article concludes by affirming that sustainable living is not just about reducing consumption but also about nurturing free and authentic relationships, echoing Khalil Gibran's poetic endorsement of independence within connections.

Opinions

Detachment is seen as a wise virtue in many Eastern religions and is essential for achieving serenity and fulfillment.
The inability to detach is viewed as a significant barrier to personal peace and sustainable living.
Practicing detachment can help balance one's inner spiritual state with external life circumstances.
Material ambitions and the desire for status symbols lead to overconsumption and a sense of despair, which detachment can mitigate.
The author values the freedom and trust inherent in detachment, seeing it as foundational for equal and sustainable relationships.
Sustainable living involves not only ecological considerations but also the cultivation of genuine, unrestricted connections with loved ones.

Could detachment lead to a more sustainable lifestyle?

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.” Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

Detachment is a predominant feature in many Eastern religions and cultures — and is also practiced here in Bali.

I remember a Balinese friend telling me about how after his third child was born, he walked to a temple on a mountain-top and stayed there for 33 days to practice detachment. What? Was the only thing I could reply, not really being able to grasp what he was talking about. Why would he leave his family? I had to do it, he said, the first 10 days were terribly hard. I was crying, missing my children and my wife, wanting to leave and make sure they were all okay or at least call them, as I was still overly attached. But I forced myself to stay and not to contact them, and then it got easier. By the end of my stay, I was ready to return, as I had detached myself.

Detachment is a state in which an individual overcomes their attachment to desire for things or people of the world and consequently reaches a heightened perspective. It is considered a wise virtue and is encouraged in e.g., Hinduism, Jainism, Taoism and Buddhism.

Attachment — or the inability to embrace detachment — is viewed as the main obstacle towards serenity and fulfillment. The Sanskrit term for detachment is Vairagya, which refers to an internal state of mind rather than to a lifestyle and can be adapted by everyone, even by people engaged in family and work life. The most important thing when practicing vairagya is the balancing act between one’s inner, spiritual state and one’s eternal life that will always put outer circumstances in perspective.

A state of spiritual detachment leads to detachment from the need for acknowledgement and hence a balanced, peaceful mindset.

Could detachment also lead us to a more sustainable life? Our ambitions and desire for things, for material status symbols tends to lead to overconsumption and despair. So, perhaps practicing a degree of detachment could be a path towards a life worth sustaining?

Now, I am not saying that 33 days in a secluded temple is the pathway for everyone, not at all. But there is an offline-ness and a letting-go-of-control-ness as well as a beautiful degree of slowing down and of trust interlinked with the terms that are crucial steps towards sustainable living. — And these elements can be practiced in a multitude of ways, even on a daily basis.

Furthermore, what I love about the saga of my friend’s 33 days of detachment is that it underlines that only by being free and allowing others to be free as well can you engage in an equal, sustainable relationship (just as the initial beautiful quote my Khalil Gibran states).

Sustainable living is not only about limiting consumption and minimizing our carbon footprint, but also about establishing and sustaining authentic and free connections to the people that we treasure.