Let The Light In

Moments of beautiful connection

So much of what I write is about endurance, perseverance, and challenges, about the hard trials and struggles I’ve faced and the difficulties I’ve been going through.

But today I wanted to write about the energy I’ve noticed more of over these past few days.

It has shocked me and left me feeling awestruck.

It wasn’t a single event either, but a series of moments that strongly reflected the work I’ve been doing with myself.

It hit me in three different situations, all in relationships and moments of connecting with other people. Moments in time where I felt more connected than I ever have with certain people in my life.

It seems so silly to be shocked by good results that have come from self-work. But I feel for a long time that I’ve been being called to dig deep and endure, persevere, and be disciplined in my approach to keeping my energy to myself mostly.

I’ve been building myself up from a place of darkness and pain.

Frankly, I got used to working on myself and not seeing anything major mirrored back to me. Sure, signs and synchronicities were confirming I have been on the right track, though I knew breaking through some of my mental and emotional obstacles would take time. I knew I had to keep going, one small change at a time and one small step towards healing whenever I could.

I still know this to be the truth of healing and knowing thyself, it’s a never ending expanse to explore, and we must learn our own rhythms and pace. Our desire to grow, to heal, keeps us wanting to evolve, expand and be better versions of ourselves.

It’s a delicate balance of not pushing ourselves too hard, and also not getting too comfortable and complacent so we get attached to any one way of being or living. At least this is how I see it.

These moments of belonging and connectedness I’ve felt with people these past few days have been what has felt like a breakthrough. A culmination of a lot of work, of holding myself accountable, and focusing on nurturing and healing for myself.

At night I dreamed I was crying as hard as I could for hours and hours, but it was cathartic, like a release of the loss of past relationships and dynamics I had been carrying and playing into myself for all these years.

I felt renewed when I woke up, able to feel a deeper level of compassion and gratitude.

If anything, being on a spiritual journey living a human life teaches us the joy of self-work, without the huge rewards right away, we’re still blessed with a myriad of beautiful insights and abundant inspiration if we can allow ourselves to learn to be as present as possible. Whether that’s in the darkness, the light or the in-between. The work I do with myself has left me with a much more profound sense of purpose too.

Writing on medium was some of the first seeds sown of my intention which was to be involved in and nurture more loving and authentic connections in my life. Connecting with so many inspiring writers and people on this platform has allowed me to grow in so many beautiful ways.

It’s taught me to reach out, to engage and participate in deep discussions, to give in a way that feels healing to me, and to express myself in ways I could’ve never imagined.

Now in many ways I’m witnessing the seeds sprout and expand into other areas of my life and I feel like more and more light is breaking through the clouds, as I find myself learning to stay open and present to enjoy the warmth.

A part of me has been acclimatized to the darkness and the need to endure and hold myself on a deep level, I’m going to need some time to adjust my eyes to the light I think. I’m going to need some time to allow the intimacy and connectedness I’ve been cultivating and experiencing more of to sink in.

I’m just reminding myself to let the light in, and I hope you’re too.

Thanks for reading ❤