Let Go — I’ll Catch You.

If you had a no-fail guarantee, what would you do?

Have you ever noticed that the content on billboards varies from region to region? One of the more obvious differences I see is religious content. I notice much more spiritual, organized religion and pro-life advertisements in the Southern States of America. However, I am not sure if this is really the content or my own perception.

A recent road trip took me through the highways of Georgia and Tennessee. It was a peaceful trip, and I was in a great place mentally. A billboard caught my eye, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

“LET GO — I’LL CATCH YOU — Jesus”

That statement really makes me think.

I often try to recite the mantra of “Let Go and Let God” to myself. It is an idea I find great peace in. The thought of doing the next right thing and trusting that God(or any higher power you may believe in) will take it from there is appealing. Unfortunately, giving up my will and trusting in a god or the universe or even myself is not something I am capable of most of the time.

But, what would I do?

If I let go, absolutely…

If I had a safety net…

If fear did not paralyze me…

Relationships If I could just let go when it felt right, would I be happier?

There are many relationships in my past that I did let go of when I should have. Hindsight is 20/20. I stayed in a couple of romantic relationships far longer than I should.

I stayed with my daughter’s father for years after she was born, even though we were both miserable. I was afraid. I was afraid I could not raise a child on my own, not emotionally and not financially. I think, now, that was a mistake for all of us.

I was engaged when my daughter was a toddler to a wonderful man. I had made a list of all the things I wanted in a partner, and then I went out and found him in the digital catalog of partners available through online dating. He checked all my boxes. I was never happy and never in love. I should have left shortly after we met. Instead, I waited until right before the wedding. I stayed because of guilt. I felt like I owed my child a father figure.

I currently have relationships in my life, I question. Are these people my tribe? Do I stay in these relationships because they are easy? Do I stay because I’m afraid of hurting their feelings? Do I stay because I need them? Am I holding myself back with the company I keep? Again, the fear — being alone. It is a scary word, and I’m afraid to do it myself.

Career

What would I do about my career? Would I quit?

In my “no-fail guarantee” fantasy, I would quit my job and follow my passions one hundred percent of the time. I’ve always fantasized about being able to make a living doing what I love. Unfortunately, I do not love the job I do to my bills, and I’ve longed for a career I’m passionate about for a long time.

I do not feel like I need a lot of income. I need enough money to provide necessities for my child and me. More importantly, I would like to have enough money to not stress about it. I want to pay my ordinary expenses and have a cushion enough to be comfortable.

So, what do I love? I love to write. Imagining I had a safety net, I would really put my writing out there.

I would write a fiction suspense novel and submit articles to publications about family, addiction, and pets. I would write with zero fear of practical gain, simply the goal of touching others. If I had a safety net, I could commit more time to my writing and really make a go of it.

Now I have already taken a huge step down in my career to focus on my passion for writing. However, I have not completely leaped, as I am still working part-time. Honestly, fear is the only thing between me and my writing.

Geographically

I have always stayed close to those I love while dreaming about moving far away to a nice rural area. Staying close to those I love acts as my safety net.

It has not always been the same people I have stayed near, and I’m not sure it has always been intentional. I like to think about picking up and starting over where no one knows me, and I am forced to be my own support. However, fear crushes this dream!

Being a single parent is the number one excuse I use to be near friends and family. I need them, or at least I think I do. Building a career in corporate finance is the number one excuse I use for staying near large cities. It is much easier to work in the metropolitan area.

The thought option of picking up and moving towards the mountains, where I don’t know anyone, is appealing.

Let Go — I’ll Catch you

What would you do?