Summary

The author reflects on the profound lessons learned about life and death from officiating five funerals within ten days, emphasizing the importance of presence, action, authenticity, generosity, and gratitude.

Abstract

The author, having recently officiated or attended five funerals in a brief span of ten days, shares insights gained from this intense period. The experience underscores the value of being fully present in life's moments, as the stories shared at funerals often revolve around such instances. It also serves as a stark reminder not to postpone life experiences and to cherish time with loved ones, as the regret of missed opportunities is a common theme at these services. The importance of embracing one's unique identity and encouraging others to do the same is highlighted, as well as the lasting impact of generosity over material possessions. Ultimately, the author advocates for a life lived with gratitude, acknowledging every moment as a gift and expressing love openly. These lessons, drawn from the somber occasions of funeral services, offer a perspective on living life to its fullest.

Opinions

The author believes that Jesus and his disciples set an example for a positive approach to death, viewing it as a natural part of life that should not be feared.
Eulogies are seen as a source of wisdom, revealing the importance of creating meaningful memories through presence and engagement in everyday life.
There is an emphasis on seizing the day and not deferring dreams or relationships, as the opportunity to experience them is not guaranteed.
The author suggests that personal authenticity and the encouragement of others to shine brightly in their own right are crucial for leaving a memorable impact.
The observation that material wealth is not taken beyond the grave leads to the opinion that true legacy lies in generosity and the intangible gifts one leaves behind.
A strong opinion is expressed about the necessity of gratitude, urging individuals to appreciate and vocalize their love for others regularly, recognizing life itself as a gracious endowment from God.

Lessons from the Grim Reaper

Five things I learned from officiating five funerals in ten days

Photo by Hugues de BUYER-MIMEURE on Unsplash

Recently, I officiated or attended five funerals in ten days. Even for me, that’s a lot of funerals in a short period of time. Emotionally exhausted, I decided to take some time to reflect on that experience. What can you learn from attending five funerals in ten days?

Jesus on death

Jesus taught his disciples to approach death with a positive spirit. He then modeled it for them as he made his way to the cross.

His disciples learned the lesson well. The Apostle Paul is representative of the rest of the disciples when he says:

“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Phil. 1:21, NIV).
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 8:38–39, NIV).
“Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Cor. 15:55–57, NIV).

Jesus and his disciples understood that death was a natural part of life, and nothing to be feared.

Five lessons from five funerals in ten days

Attending five funerals in ten days means that I heard five eulogies. You can learn a lot from listening to the eulogy. Here are my five big takeaways from the experience.

1. Learn how to be present.

At funerals, loved ones consistently share stories. The stories of the most precious moments seem to be fuel for remembering and healing.

The only way to create memorable stories is to take the time to be present. It’s not necessarily the big vacation or the grand adventure that people remember. It’s the little, consistent moments when you were present to them.

2. Don’t put things off.

Take that vacation you’ve been planning. Visit that relative you’ve been thinking about. Don’t put it off. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.

The biggest regrets people express are over the things they could easily have done but failed to follow through on. People lament losing the moments they should have had with their loved ones, but were always too busy with other things.

A consistent lament at the funeral is, “I thought I would have more time with him/her.”

3. Let your light shine, and help others to do the same.

Be yourself. The things people remember are all the wonderful things that make you, you.

You probably don’t realize the difference you make in people’s lives simply by being who God created you to be and encouraging others to do the same.

4. Give, give, and then give some more.

I have officiated more than 300 funerals and I’ve never seen a hearse pulling a U-Haul.

Job recognized this when he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart” (Job 1:21, NIV). You come into the world with nothing, and you take nothing with you when you leave. It’s a zero-sum game.

The only thing that lasts beyond your death is that which you gave away. People rarely remember how much you made. They remember how much you gave.

5. Remember to be grateful.

Hug the people you love. Tell them daily that you love them. Be grateful for the life that God has given you.

God doesn’t owe you anything. Every breath of life is a gracious gift from Him. Be grateful that you are alive.

These are the simple things I have learned from attending five funerals in ten days. Perhaps you could add your lessons.