Lessons About Life -Courtesy From By Dad

My Dad was never afraid of dying. In fact, when his health was failing, he said several times that if he had a gun, he would kill himself. He only said that a few times and I think he hung on because he lived to see us.

When my Dad was young, he had smarts, determination, and an abundant drive to succeed.

He was not afraid of death. Despite this, I preached to him the gospel of Jesus whenever I had the chance. My Dad was no stranger to tragedy and his own parents died young and his brother died years ago.

He lived a life unafraid to try new things. He learned ballroom dancing in his 60’s. He never lost that love and he attended dance events on New Year’s Eve for many years, well into his seventies. I stayed home on New Year’s Eve and made Cornish hen in 2001 for us. It was too snowy and seemed too dangerous to go out at night. Undeterred by the weather, in the evening, he drove off for ballroom dancing, leaving us alone, hearing the firecrackers in the distance as soon as midnight came. That was my Dad- he never let old age or poor weather stop him from enjoying life.

He kept busy gabbing on the phone to his Chinese friends and did some investments – he always had the stock TV channel on. He also bought a brand- new grey Honda and would drive himself to parks and other places, and later would bring home a box of Chinese pastry.

My Dad didn’t have real teeth. He wore dentures because of poor teeth maintenance, financial reasons, or ignorance during his youth. People in his time just didn’t have the money or knowledge to go to dentists.

He was used to using his dentures to eat his meals and go out for favorite foods, like crab and braised pork. But when he lived at the care home, he lived on soft foods because no one bothered to help him with his dentures. We supplemented his boring food with homemade foods, takeout Japanese sushi, and milkshake from the drive-in.

If there is a lesson here, it is to look after your teeth. If you end up in a care home, you will have to eat soft, boring food for the rest of your life.

Me and my partner, (now hubby) went to China in 2013 with my Dad. I kept putting it off due to my fears of international flying. My Dad dismissed my fears, saying that the aircraft is safe because of all that money involved. While he relaxed and snoozed on the long flight, I kept my eyes open and my mind praying for almost the entire flight.

For many years until he went into the care home, he lived at his home and I would often rush off from work to bring him meals and clean up his area. Afterward, I would take him for car rides and get him some coffee, ice cream, and burgers. My sisters would take turns doing the same.

I took him to clinic visits and he was diagnosed with lots of health issues. He would take pills himself but I took over when I found he had taken too many pills in one day. One day, I offered him a marijuana cigarette to ease any pain and he took it and ate it. I called poison control and the nurse didn’t know what to say. Hubby said not to worry as pot is sometimes eaten. Thankfully, nothing bad happened.

He began to get frailer over the years. We never talked much about the business of his death, but he made preparations for letting us do any necessary business paperwork.

As he grew weaker in the last days of 2021, my Dad never complained. He never feared anything. He told me once, “You have to die sometime.” It seems to be his biggest fear was growing feeble and not being able to do what he loved: dancing, eating, and traveling. I hope he is doing all that and more — in Heaven.

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Til next time. Take care in 2022:)