Lessons 2019 Taught Me
Evaluating the past year in order to move forward with visual clarity
The days of December raced by like a roller coaster on its last descent to the finish line. In the front car, as usual, I wondered if it would slow down so I could enjoy Christmas and New Year’s Eve, or if I would need to pull the brakes at midnight on December 31.
By December 15th, I still had gifts to purchase, packages to wrap, letters to write, cards to mail, bills to pay, a house to continue to de-clutter and clean, meals to prepare, and appointments to get to. Ugh! Was there even time?
Well, I’m here to tell you that the important stuff got done and left the unimportant for 2020.
What was unimportant?
The de-cluttering and uber cleaning of the house. I have a house that is lived in with the same concept of living that my mother had. If you want to come see me, great, but realize that my house may be out of order or cluttered. But, I believe that you came to see me and my husband, NOT my house.
Although I had begun to look at what I wanted to accomplish in 2020, I sat on New Year’s Day evaluating the lessons 2019 had taught me.
On January 1, 2019, Father Time gifted me a box of mismatched pieces — daily tasks, stressful events, and perspective-altering experiences, — that would NEVER give me a completed puzzle. Instead, his gift interrupted me on a daily, if not hourly, basis. It stopped me from finishing even one single project this year; in fact, I only half-assed started anything.
Alarm/dogs. Start — stop. Half-create. Run here — run there. Start. Half-create. Stop. Procrastinate because I’m mentally exhausted. Start. Stare at the computer screen, blank page, or musical notes without anything registering in my brain. Stop. Procrastinate because I’m on mental overload. Stare off into space for minutes (maybe hours) at a time. Get up and move around. Maybe unload the dishwasher because it is a quick, repetitive task. Procrastinate because in 5 or 10 minutes I need to be on my way somewhere or I am sitting in a waiting room or hospital room, somewhere, with my husband. Get home. Turn on TV. Sit. Start creating. Stare at the TV screen but not absorbing what is going on. Exhausted. Go to bed. EYES POP OPEN AND NOW I’M AWAKE. Lay there for what seems like hours wishing sleep to find me. REPEAT!
Don’t get me wrong. I am NOT complaining. It is in the experiences that life hands out and how we deal with those experiences that help us develop into the unique individuals we are.
THE FUTURE IS HERE
As 2019 wound down, I looked at 2020 and hoped the year would be better than 2019 had been for my household AND for everyone I know.
A MOTTO FOR THE YEAR
There are several ways to approach a new year: choosing a single word, writing down a list of goals or resolutions for the year, creating a scrapbook page for each goal or resolution, creating a vision board, or just letting the year progress as it wants to (but I don’t suggest that).
2019’s single word was FOCUS, and it has been a year of FOCUS. Unfortunately, my FOCUS had been forced by life rather than by the decisions I wished to follow.
This year, I am adopting a motto for the decade. My motto? Visual clarity for the next decade.
It hit me sometime in December — I needed a motto not just for the new year, but for the decade. 20/20 in 2020 — clarity of vision or visual clarity for the year 2020 — visual clarity for the next decade.
LESSONS 2019 HAS TAUGHT ME
Although the past is the past, 2019 has taught me a number of things, some positive and some negative. These things have caused me to pause and make some improvements in my life.
I am truly an independent, intelligent, strong-willed woman.
In being my husband’s health advocate this year, I found myself accused of being too intense and too direct by one specific doctor. He insisted that I needed to back down because I scare people.
Instead of backing down, I approached every other doctor, physician’s assistant, and nurse we met with our story, our questions, and our concerns. Everyone confirmed that we needed to persist with how we had been handling things.
I have allowed procrastination and time-wasting activities to become a time sucker.
You don’t realize it, really, that the game on your phone that you were going to only play for ten minutes has consumed more than two hours of your time. The article didn’t get written. The dishes still sit on the counter. The laundry basket still needs emptying.
As I finally realized what was happening, I deleted EVERY game off my phone. I find that I can empty the dishwasher in ten minutes, fold a basket of clothes in ten minutes, pen a response to a friend’s or relative’s letter, sweep the kitchen floor, or any number of things.
Dancing and music and laughter REDUCE stress
2019 included WAY too much stress. I got caught up in the stress and rarely realized it. It made me moody and irritable. OR hubby got caught up in the stress at doctor appointments or in the hospital.
On mornings when hubby played DJ with the music on his tablet, I was more at ease.
When hubby was stressed, I would share humor that one of my friends posted on social media.
And sometimes, when we realized the other was at a breaking point, we started to dance with them to the music in our head.
Stress eating is not a good thing.
Although I know a lot about nutrition and healthy eating, stress led me astray. Many nights, especially when hubby was in the hospital or fell asleep long before 10:00 pm, I found myself eating junk food and grabbing a drink to relax.
Unfortunately, eating junk food affected how I felt, and not in a good way. A couple of drink didn’t relax me; I found myself awake after only two or three hours of sleep and extremely fatigued.
Now, we are back on a healthier diet (for lack of a better word) and I am beginning to feel better
Perfectionism shut me down.
If it wasn’t perfect, I didn’t publish it — I didn’t write it. If it wasn’t perfect, I didn’t play it. I didn’t practice because I can never be as perfect as I want to be.
A few books that I’ve read put that in perspective: perfectionism is just fear in disguise.
Many of my fears surfaced in 2019. Fears about hubby’s health. Fears about being alone. Fears about unknown “what ifs.”
I am planning that 2020 will be my year. If nothing else, I will be writing and practicing. I will share my talents and abilities instead of revising and avoiding practice indefinitely.
With one exception, multi-tasking is a waste of time.
When I do more than one thing at a time, I find I do one of the things poorly OR I don’t remember the information I learned.
The one exception? Listening to motivational podcasts while using the treadmill.
Three days a week, when my hubby started cardiac rehab, I hopped over to the gym to use the treadmill for 30 minutes before going back to pick him up. While I walked, I linked into one of the audio/visual sites and searched “motivation.”
When my hubby’s driving privileges were restored, I found I wanted to go to the gym. The motivational presentations energize me with a lasting impact.
I have made my writing life too complex.
2019 found me making my writing life SO complicated that I retreated from writing.
Not a good thing.
So, I have combined all the blogs and written down and prioritized all the projects I have in mind. Now, I seem to have projects entering my reality. I’m writing them down and adding them to the wall of ideas.
Eventually, the good you put out into the world will return to visit you.
Over the past twenty years that we have been together, my hubby and I have tried to put good into the world. He has been the “knight-in-shining-armor” to many people. We have loaned money to people without the expectation of ever getting the money back. We donate our clothes to the DAV. We have opened our home to people who need a place to stay.
Now, we have found that people have OUR backs.
Now, it’s your turn. To move forward, to live a better 2020 than 2019, look at the lessons the past has taught you and move forward. Change what has been holding you back and move forward with what worked.
Thanks for reading.
Rebecca (Becky) spent 34 years in a teaching career, but when she retired in 2014, she picked up her pen and pursued her passion to write. As a high school English teacher, Becky held the philosophy that she wouldn’t give any writing assignment that she personally wouldn’t or couldn’t do. That philosophy strengthened and broadened her own writing.
In addition to publishing her writing on various platforms, Becky also blogs at Life is for Living, a blog to encourage, motivate, and help others live the best life possible. As an extension of Life is for Living, she also publishes a weekly newsletter, Let’s Chat. (Check it out HERE.) Life is for Living also has a social media presence with the group Coffee on my Porch. (Check it out HERE.)
After teaching writing for 34 years, Becky began Ink & Keyboard, a blog for writers at all levels. She supplements what she writes on the blog with a subscription newsletter, The Writer’s Notebook (Check it out HERE.) and the social media group Ink & Keyboard (Check it out HERE.)
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