Comic verse

Lemon Tart Lover

A true story of cooking, hope and love

My boyfriend is clever, he’s ever-so smart, He lured me to his place, with a posh home-made tart. It was tasty and sweet, with lemony filling, He showed me his bedroom, he hoped I’d be willing.

“To get in my knickers, you’ll have to try harder, Meanwhile, my fine fellow, you’d best douse your ardor,” I said with a giggle, a wink, and a snort. He reacted by baking a giant plum torte.

Bewitched, keen as mustard, he made me my dinner. Three courses with custard, I’m onto a winner. I like to eat, and not in a rude way, He likes to cook, with pots bought from e-bay.

He chopped and he sautéed, he grilled and he roasted, He flambéed, and stir-fried, and proudly he boasted, “My cooking is epic, and I’m not bad too, If you’ll be my girlfriend, I’ll make you a brew.”

“At last,” I thought, chuckling, “He’s hitting the spot, All that I wanted, was tea from a pot.” “If Earl Grey is crucial, I’ll make it forever,” He said, “If you promise, that we’ll be together.”

So now we’re a couple, we live in one house, With two kids and three dogs, a cat, and a mouse. He runs the kitchen, and I think that’s swell, I’m better at eating, for me, cooking’s hell.

This is a true story of how my boyfriend lured me to his house for tea and home-made lemon tart, one Sunday morning. He does love to shop and cook. Sadly, the lemon tart has only made one other appearance in the three and a half years we have been together.

I hope you enjoy it.