Thought Of The Day

Left Over Friends, Are Like Eating Leftovers

You are constantly worrying if it’s good or bad for you.

I’ve been struggling with the notion of rekindling a friendship that ended a few years ago.

I have some trepidation.

Is it actually worth the time or effort?

I mean, the friendship was never that bad. But it was never that good, either. And it began to sour.

It Ended

It ended because the mutual respect, interest, and understanding we shared began to wane.

We ate all we could, became full, and well, wrapped the friendship in a doggy bag and walked away.

We never spoke about ending the friendship.

It organically happened.

Neither of us at the time had the energy to give the other any explanation.

It’s one of those moments when saying goodbye doesn’t need an explanation.

And when I re-examine the relationship, I can’t help but look back, and I see the good, the bad, and the ugly.

And I can’t help but wonder what is left for me to discover.

Indeed, we had some good times. But, what about the bad times. What about the hurt, the harshly spoken words. What about the hurtful jokes, the angry outbursts, the hurtful actions?

Do we just forget about them? Do we talk about the past and rekindle the friendship like reheated food? Or do we talk about history like a movie that we watched but never recorded, never talked about?

And if we can talk about it, maybe, we could find a way to build on it.

But when I think about the past, it reminds me of eating leftover food. I’ve never been one for it, though.

It’s not the same; it tastes different, looks different, smells different, and you don’t really want it. Plus, the added microwave toxicity of reheating food doesn’t sit well with me.

It’s something that I’m afraid to have a second thought about.

Forgetting The Past

My friend just wants to forget about the past and move forward. No questions and no answers, and no solution. Only move on, like it was before, without skipping a beat.

But I worry if that will be good or bad. Has it gone spoilt for being leftover for so long?

When Insecurities Take Over

The end of our friendship was a tumultuous one. The comradery that had lasted for a few years ignited insecurities in me. Insecurities that I had to fight off regularly.

Insecurities highjacked our friendship.

Insecurities that I would fight off but end up reflecting on again and again.

Insecurities were the death of our relationship and caused us to part ways.

Insecurities that stemmed from a lack of transparency.

It ended, we overate, and we were full. We were full of ourselves. Full of our insecurities and full of our anger and frustration. Full of our fear. Full of our offence. Full of our hurt.

When insecurities take over a friendship, it can end abruptly, and you don’t know how to fix it. It might have started out as a simple friendship, but one of the friends became insecure at some point. And, when a friend becomes insecure, it can be hard to know how to get through it.

A Simple Impartial Solution

It’s best to walk away. Give yourself some time to reflect on the situation, the insecurities, and feelings.

After all, you are human, with emotions. As such, you can’t escape your insecurities, and you can only learn to live with them, understand them, and work around them.

When you are in a conversation with someone who has insecurities, you can’t help but feel that you are fighting with them.

It’s A Matter Of A Life Lesson

I have learned to accept that I cannot always get around my insecurities, and I need to try my best to deal with them. But, when I think of our friendship gone, it’s a constant worry that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It’s a constant worry, whether or not it is too far gone.

Just like eating leftover, you worry that if you eat it with a certain level of serendipity, you are most often tempted to throw it away.

But if you don’t, you might become unhappy. Your health might be affected, and you might get sick. You might even die, perhaps not physically but maybe emotionally.

But if you return to a spoiled friendship that you thought was healthy, you might find that the problem is even worse. You might find that you are like returning to a leftover.

You are full of emotional trauma, full of anger and hurt, but you can’t seem to get rid of it. You can’t rid yourself of the hurt, the anger, the insecurities. And you are left with a feeling similar to eating leftovers.

If you do your best to revisit the connection, the friendship can still grow, but insecurities might be an issue for a long time to come.

I have learned to be content with myself, and I have learned to trust myself more. To trust my feelings and to listen to them. While it is not easy to do, it is the right thing to do. And it has taught me the lesson of not to go back to a spoiled friendship because it might not end well.

Forward For Your Health’s Sake

Maybe it’s best to end it all.

When the friendship ends, you are left with your insecurities and the problem of where you’re going. What to do next. And how to unpack and reconcile your emotional trauma by yourself, all the while feeling guilty.

Guilty because you are a failure in yet again another friendship you must recover from.

What we mustn’t forget, though, is why we parted ways in the first place. And so you must learn to move on, not forgetting the past, but forward.

Forward is a good thing. Because you can only make progress, and you can only develop, learn, and progress if the past is behind you.

If you stay in the past, you will be left wondering, worrying, and feeling sad about what you did and could not do. This is not good for your health or your mental well-being.

You must continue moving forward. You must continue developing, and you must continue moving away from your past. You must continue becoming a better person because we are defined by our future, not the past.

You must continue to be happy, and you must continue to be fulfilled. It is what brings us happiness and fulfillment. There is purity in happiness.

You will have your moment of serendipity, and you will have your moment of fullness. But, you must continue moving forward. Tomorrow is a new day, and a new day is a fresh start. With that fresh start comes the ability to move further away from the past.

For more on overcoming insecurities, here is a list you may also like to read.

The opportunity for growth can become infinite.