Learning to Love the P-Spot

Exploring the world of prostate pleasure was life-changing

For the first 26 years of my life, I was one of those men who was quite open to the possibility of penetrating my female partner’s ass with my fingers, sex toys and my cock, but my ass was entirely off-limits.

My backdoor was a one-way street, but my female partner’s… Well, I believed that was up for negotiation.

In retrospect, that’s a ridiculous attitude to have and I now understand why so many women get frustrated by this butt play double standard.

I remember one time when a woman said that if I wanted to go inside her ass, she should be able to go inside mine. I asked her if she REALLY wanted to finger my ass and she said, “That’s not the point.”

My world view on having my ass played with changed when I suffered a minor back injury playing sport and needed to get my muscles loosened up in my lower back.

I’d struggled around like a bear with a sore paw at work for several days until my secretary snapped at me and told me to go get a massage and “get her to throw in a happy ending to change your mood!”

We laughed as I agreed to see a physio that afternoon… Except I decided to find myself a massage with a happy ending so that I could kill two birds with one stone like had been suggested.

Long story short, I ended up meeting this incredible 40-year-old masseuse named Tanya and she not only rubbed my lower back to alleviate the discomfort but as part of the happy ending, she introduced me to the wonderful world of prostate massage.

I ended up seeing Tanya at least twice a month for a decade until she “retired” from being an adult masseuse and moved to Spain — she once remarked towards the end of our relationship that I’d seen her over 500 times. I know that I probably contributed significantly to her early retirement — “You’re welcome, Tanya” if you’re reading this.

Tanya opened my eyes to an entire world of previously unexplored pleasurable opportunities for myself.

I no longer viewed my ass like this “outbound only lane” and thought of it as an additional sexual pleasure channel with the right person.

It was both liberating for me personally and sexually very satisfying, but I openly admit that it made me a much better lover because I understood what it was like to be penetrated during a sexual experience — I understood the feeling of vulnerability of being penetrated sexually that women often talk about but men seldom understand.

The other thing was, I’d become MUCH better at having anal sex with female partners because I intimately understood the potential for pleasure if everything moved slowly and gently with careful consideration.

One significant change that occurred as a result of my coming to enjoy being played with anally was that my sexual boundaries with respect to gender changed and I became more open to sexual interactions with men.

I don’t consider myself bisexual or gay (I’m what the LGBT community call “a tourist”), but I’ve had encounters with men a few times including my first full experience that I described in the story below.

Prostate pleasure has become a regular part of my sex life. I routinely have female partners who are comfortable fingering my ass and I even have a Lelo Loki male vibrator that I use at home.

What Does a Prostate Orgasm Feel Like?

It can be difficult to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced a P-Spot orgasm what one actually feels like.

The best way that I can describe it is that it starts out feeling like pressure in your lower abdomen when your partner or toy start enter you and start rubbing your prostate. The pressure gives way in a few seconds and then it starts to feel very soothing.

Personally, I find myself going into an almost meditative state when I’m having my prostate massaged because you really need to relax and breathe deeply to enjoy the sensation.

Eventually, after 10–15 minutes, the feeling of pressure builds and then it releases in what I can only describe as intensely pleasurable undulating waves running through the entirety of my body, emanating outwards from my lower abdomen.

The pleasurable waves just keep rolling and rolling for me, often not subsiding for as much as 10 minutes. Sometimes it will be so intense that I’ll break out in a cool sweat across my entire body.

There’s no ejaculation or anything like that for me. Sometimes I get hard and other times I don’t, but I do find that during prostate play that I tend to leak a fair bit of seminal fluid.

The best part is, there’s no refractory period, so if I keep having my prostate massaged, I can generally have multiple P-Spot orgasms.

When I first got the Lelo Loki, I was home by myself on a Saturday afternoon and I decided to try it out. I laid on my side, worked myself up to sliding it in, turned on one of the vibrating settings, and left it inside me to work its magic.

I lost track of the number of prostate orgasms that I had. It got to the point where I was almost hyperventilating and had to stop. I looked at the clock and nearly two hours had passed.

Personally, I always take the time to masturbate or if I’m with a partner, find a way to ejaculate after I work my prostate. My traditional orgasm after a prostate orgasm is always considerably more intense and voluminous — the act of massage the prostate increases the production of seminal fluid, so you end up with a lot more cum afterwards.

Another highlight is if you’re with an experienced partner and they can edge you with a handjob while massaging your prostate. Once you start having the P-Spot orgasm, if they can bring you over the edge with the handjob, you can have a simultaneous orgasm.

Tanya was able to bring about the double orgasm for me quite regularly and it is the most intense sexual pleasure that I can describe — every muscle in your body spasms with delight.

Getting Past The Stigma

I think the biggest problem for most guys is that they think having someone penetrate them anally is a sign of being gay.

I don’t think for some men it’s even conscious, it’s a subconscious thing that we’ve been socialized to believe. They have this fear that if they like getting their bum fingered or fucked with a vibrator that they’ll suddenly “turn” homosexual.

Unequivocally, I can tell you from experience, that having your ass fucked won’t make you suddenly attracted to men. You might be open-minded about sexual contact with men, that’s what happened with me, but you don’t find yourself thinking guys are “hot”.

The other thing I’ve been told by some men over the years is that they are worried that if they mention it to their female partners that the women will think they’re gay or be grossed out by the idea.

Again, in my experience, women are way more open to this kind of thing than men give them credit for. Sexually active women have penetration just as part of their usual sexual repertoire, so the idea that it’s going to instantly gross them out is silly.

This is particularly true if you’ve discussed or participated in anal sex on your female partner. If she’s comfortable having her backdoor probed, you’ll probably find that she’s not going to be squeamish about fingering your bum in return.

At the end of the day, sex is all about having some fun and enjoying yourself. If you’re open to the possibility that, as a man, your ass can be a source of incredible pleasure, then you have the potential to experience something very intense and unique.

The reality is, the only barrier preventing most men from experiencing this pleasure is psychological. You have to be willing to be open-minded and try something new.

If you can just relax and enjoy yourself, you’re going to discover a whole new world of sexual pleasure that you may never have even known about.