Learning From a Former Self
As we grow, it is helpful to reassess things in our life such as relationships and identities. We must run our old beliefs through the new filters of consciousness that have been developed. It may even be useful to reevaluate a piece of art that was created with a different mindset.
Recently, I felt called to examine the words of a song I wrote a few years ago. When I wrote these words, I was fronting a bluegrass band. I was also just dipping my toes in the waters of spiritual learning. As my spiritual path progressed, the plainly written songs of sorrow that I had been learning and writing were having less impact on me. In that mindset, these verses were born. I still love singing this song but current events have shown me some flaws in my words.
The conversations that have followed the death of George Floyd have highlighted my tendency for spiritual bypass.
“Don’t want to sing about our differences anymore,” I wrote. Well, what I want doesn’t matter right now. At this moment we are all called to recognize our differences, confront injustice, and own our faults.
I don’t want to sing sad songs anymore
Don’t want to sing about destruction, heartache, and war
I’ve done so much complaining; I forgot what I was screaming for
I don’t want to sing sad songs anymore
I don’t care if you hear a word I say
You can keep my volume turned down
Through the night, through the day
Letting go of expectation, I’ll find the loudest way
I don’t care if you hear a word I say
Don’t want to sing about our differences anymore
Don’t want to sing about the rich man holding down the poor
If we focus on our oneness we can open any door
Don’t want to sing about our differences anymore
I don’t want to sing sad songs anymore
Don’t want to sing about destruction, heartache, and war
I want to sing about the truth that all of us are searching for
I don’t want to sing sad songs anymore
I don’t WANT to sing sad songs, but I will. Sometimes, destruction, heartache, and war are our truth. I will bring the darkness to light in order to move towards peace.
I don’t WANT to sing about our differences, but I will. We can only move towards unity through recognizing our differences and reconciling our disagreements. As I said in a recent Facebook post, “if we are serious about healing racial disparity, every inequity must be acknowledged.”
We cannot bypass difficult conversations. Nothing can be pushed away. Everything must be embraced. True oneness can only be accomplished when every dark shadow is seen, loved, and brought back to light. Focusing only on bright, shiny, happy things is like staring at the sun; it renders us blind. Don’t look away. See it all. Love it all. It is only by embracing the many that the One can be known.