Learn This Principle By Heart And Win Every Goal You Desire
An Overlooked Principle in Life
People define success and happiness in myriad ways. To some, it’s landing on the job they wished for a long time. It can be material things such as a brand new car, a grandiose house, or a shiny diamond jewelry set.
Happiness is also time. It is taking control of your calendar and spending quality time with your parents, witnessing your children as they doze off by night, or improving your marriage life with your significant other.
Although they vary from person to person, acquiring success requires a simple technique that you probably have not yet completely grasped. It’s too simple that you often neglect doing it, yet this is what really moves the needle.
This is an underrated and overlooked principle in life: being congruent.
Movement is Not Always Progress
We were taught to chase our ambitions that leave a connotation of activity and aggressiveness. Without lowballing people’s hard work, however, movement and actions do not always constitute progress.
Anyone can be the most hardworking employee, but he cannot have the fattest paycheck.
Anyone can be the stingiest person, but he would still struggle to save up for his dream house.
While we exert our effort to literally grab our goals, often, they will just kite above the sky if we will not work on our congruence.
Your Congruence Dictates Your Results
What you currently possess echoes how you became congruent in life.
… the job or business that you have
… the relationship with your neighbors or loved ones
… your cash balance in the bank.
Your results mirror you and manifest based on the attributes and values that you live by.
I’ve learned the concept of congruence through my mentor, Darren Hardy. As he reached the age of marriage, he always wished to marry a perfect wife. To do so, he listed all the traits that he could think of — her personality, character, and key attributes.
Instead of dating countless women, he pondered: what kind of man would a woman of this substance be looking for?
Marrying the perfect woman of his definition is not a search, rather, self-improvement to live by the values that will fascinate her.
Congruence is Attracting Success
A good job with competitive pay shall come to you if you have proven your value to the market by delivering prolific outputs that are helpful to your company. You can gain a brand new car or a grandiose house by finding more cash flow sources and constantly saving up to bring it to your possession.
Having an improved relationship with your significant other is achievable when you appreciate even the minutest thing she does to you. Achieving something is not always actively grabbing it, but more on attracting through congruence.
If our active approach is not working, it’s probably best to assess ourselves if we are attractive enough for that goal? How prepared are we to handle it? Do we deserve to have it? Are we living by the mindset and virtues to win it?
How To Be Congruent
You cannot be congruent with something you cannot define. This is where clarity plays a vital role in goal setting. In his book High-Performance Habits, Brendon Burchard suggests we practice envisioning ourselves in these 4Ss: Self, Social, Skills, and Service.
Clarity on One’s Self
Now that you determined your goal, what do you think are the values you should possess? People who succeed constantly introspect where they are currently at, and where they should be as a person.
Should you be more persistent instead of someone who easily gets discouraged? Should you be calmer, instead of being a curmudgeon? We do not simply stop identifying these traits. Instead, we wake up each day having that unparalleled intention to live congruently by them.
Social Clarity
You are not alone in your journey toward the attainment of your goals. Your friends, comrades, and mentor are there to take part, regardless of whether you like it. Be clear on how you treat people while you honor the struggle of labor.
As we juggle handfuls of balls that we perceive essential to achieve an ambition, we often neglect them. We forget to give time to our parents, our significant others, or those who are helping us. As our calendar becomes more compressed, we lose empathy and become more perturbed than usual.
Hence, part of our objective must include being conscious of who we are to others. Be present at the moment and not just go through the motions. After all, when it’s getting harder, you will seek help from those around you. That’s for sure.
Clarity on Your Skills
Assume you want to improve your monthly salary, or you want to double your sales from last month. What are the skills it requires?
As Jim Rohn said, we get paid based on the value that we produce, not on the time we render. Therefore, increasing our working hours is not always the solution. It’s honing our skills that makes us more valuable.
If you want to progress your career or business, ruminate on your current skill sets and assess where you can improve to put that goal into fruition. You can work 16 hours a day, but unless you meet certain standards your desired income requires, the same amount of it has to be expected.
Clarity on Service
This is probably the most profound aspect of clarity. It’s taking an extra mile to everything we do in our lives. In a less metaphorical definition, clarity on service is defining how you want to serve others, leave a legacy, and create greater impact.
You’ll be surprised that as you expand your reach of people likely to benefit from your pursuits, the more drive you’ll get to make them happen.
This is not about you, your friends, or colleagues anymore. It’s stepping up to seek broader and greater purpose that will make your journey more meaningful.
An Oath From Now On
I read a proverb that suggests we stop chasing butterflies. Instead, grow a garden of vibrant and colorful flowers to attract them. Give them what they need and they will come to you.
Struggle is always there as you actively chase your goals. You may fail dozens of times but before your motivation wanes, consider that the tweaking in your attitude and mindset is where the rubber meets the road.
As you learn your vital values — the person who you should become in society, and the skill sets you need to develop — it’s time to commit to yourself that you will intentionally live by them every day.
Let’s stay in touch, dear friends! Follow me so you’ll get the latest updates on my articles about productivity and personal development.