Leadership Skills Are Taught Through Life, Not In School

Every moment we choose if we want to be a leader or a looser

This is part of a bigger piece, one day from my challenging week and what the week taught me.

It was after 9 am when refreshed and recharged, I was ready for the drive home. George seemed in a good mood, too. We packed the car and all the animals and drove off.

We were passing through town when my phone rang.

“I have to answer that,” I said to George, pulled into a loading zone, and turned on the warning lights.

“They loved you! They would like another catch-up so their delivery manager can also meet you. It’s just a formality. Are you free today at 11:45?” — Lewis asked me.

“Yeah… right… sure… I’m actually driving home, not prepared for any interviews, but I can be available,” — I replied, happy with the news but also jumbled as I didn’t expect a call from them so soon.

“No worries. I will let them know you are on your way home and then organize the meeting. It should be all right.” — he responded.

I got off the call and kept driving.

“You will kill us all! Why are you so unprepared and unorganized?” — asked upset George.

“George, I had to take the call. I need to find a job… And anyway, I parked, so it was safe,” — I replied calmly.

“Yes? Where did you park? This was not a designated parking area! Why don’t you have your headset ready?” — asked George in an even more irritated voice.

“My headset doesn’t work properly in the car… The car speaker takes priority, and I have to switch it to the headset manually, so I would need to stop anyway,” — I replied, trying to cut the conversation short and not realizing I was making it worse.

“What?! Then your expensive iPhone is useless! You just wasted your money on it! My phone is much cheaper and works better! I always have my headset in my ear when I drive, just in case someone calls. Every truckie does it! You should be better organized. You are always unprepared and so unprofessional!” — George lectured me, and I kept quiet.

I felt like saying that I was wasting my company’s money on the phone, that I wasn’t a truckie, and that I didn’t aspire to be one. I wanted to say that my “lack of professionalism” paid for both our bills because I’m the one who makes money in our arrangement. But why bother? Adding fuel to the fire would destroy my day even more, so I kept driving without saying a word.

We were about 20km from where we planned to take a break when my phone rang. I pulled over and answered it.

“Hi Jan, sorry, but something changed on the client side, and they can’t make the call today. Would you be available on Monday, 3 pm?” — Lewis asked.

“Yes, Monday is perfect, even better than today” — I replied.

The conversation was only brief, and I was back on the road.

“You are really going to kill us today. Is it what you want? Though, you could survive, and only we die, and then you will have a real problem.” — said George in a gloomy voice.

“What did I do wrong now? I pulled over…” — I replied in a resigned voice.

“Yes, you pulled over, but it was still too close to the road. Have you seen how close the truck passed us? If he was an angry fella, then he could purposely drive into us, and it would be all your fault…” — said George, and so I got a second lecture about what a hopeless driver and irresponsible person I was. I didn’t bother to reply.

We were almost in town when I asked George, “Where would you like to stop? At the petrol station or the bakery?”

“I don’t care”, — replied George, still offended by my horrible driving skills and lack of maturity.

I stopped at the bakery. “There are some benches under the tree, so if the bakery is too crowded, we can sit there. Are you coming?” — I asked him friendly.

“No, I can see from here it is too crowded. I’m not going anywhere,” — said upset George.

“Okay, fair enough. What can I get you? Coffee and some pastry?” — I asked in a soft voice.

“No, just coffee” — he replied, and I went to the bakery.

I got back with a coffee for George and an eclair for myself. I suggested we would go and sit on the benches in the shade under the trees. It was such a hot day, so the trees provided a nice spot to rest.

“I’m not going to sit on concrete benches. I’m staying here. Because of you, I have to sit in the f@#king hot car. We could be at the petrol station, sitting inside a nice air-conditioned room, but no, you had to go to the bakery,” — said resentful George.

At this point, I was furious, and I felt like saying, “F@#k you, Goerge! It is me doing you a favour and driving you around; you said you didn’t care where we stopped, so sh#t the f@#k up and stop lecturing me!”, but suddenly the whisper in my mind said to me “What’s your plan in life? Do you want to be bitter and frustrated like George, or do you want to be an amazing leader like Anne? This is just a test to check your leadership skills. And it is your choice who you choose to become”. And I calmed down.

“I’m sorry, George. I know it’s not the most comfortable position to sit. Let’s keep driving, and we’ll get lunch at Cherry Tree,” — I replied to George, and the mood started to change. George was looking forward to having lunch in his favorite coffee shop.

“Have you ever been to the new petrol station, just getting out of town?” — he asked me friendly.

“Yes, I went there just recently when my usual petrol station got flooded”, — I replied

“I like to go there when I travel with the caravan. They have plenty of space…” — George relaxed and told me all the reasons why he loved that particular petrol station, and we had an enjoyable chat.

When we arrived in town, we got lunch as planned. After that, George had to go somewhere and needed my car, so I took the dogs, went to the park, and lay under a tree watching the upset birds making a lot of noise and trying to chase away the dogs. Work messages were still coming to my phone, though I wasn’t working there anymore, so I ignored them.

In the evening, I drove to the town south of us to get pizza for dinner from my favorite Italian pizza shop. I went for a walk, called my parents, and enjoyed the evening. There was a festival in town, some streets were closed, and plenty of tourists were still around, though it was late evening.

I was proud of myself that, despite all the difficulties of the day, I managed to keep my composure, and I passed the “leadership test” quite well.

And what about you, dear reader, how do you approach such tests of life? Do you try to play the game and keep your composure, or do you give control over your day to those around you? The game isn’t easy, and we need some support and escape, but, like with everything in life, when we practice regularly, we become better and better.