Lady Garden?

“I was brought up in a very conservative household, so it was a shock to me to go to the beach where women would display their lady gardens in public!”

Farlex Dictionary of Idioms. © 2022 Farlex, Inc, all rights reserved.

In my last post, I believe that’s what yous calls these ‘things,’ I hypothecated (not a real word) that we are obsessed with penises cos of our patriarchal society, and as a result the transgender debate is often reduced to someone asking someone else, “Can a woman have a penis?” I will now point to further evidence of society’s penis obsession….i’m sure there’s a word for it. Oh yes. Coq au vin. Anyway, further evidence of my hypothecation (also not a real word) is that I’ve never seen anyone ever ask someone else “Can a man have a vagina?” In an effort to provide some balance, keep up kids, its called encouraging diversity, I ask various public figures, “Can a man have a vagina?”

Rishi Sunak, Chancellor of the Exchequer: “Is this another dig at me and the missus? Cos that’s straight up sexism.”

Rachael Blackmore, Irish horse jockey:” I could tell you a story about young women, horse riding and hymens, but I won’t. And yes, animals were harmed during the making of this.”

Ant & Dec, British television presenters: [giggles] “Va- Gyna.”

Emmanuel Macron, President of France: “In this year’s election the future of France, possibly the future of the European Union will come down to one simple question. Do you want me, Emmanuel Jean-Michel Frédéric Macron to be President? Or that vagina?”

Olaf Scholz, Chancellor of Germany: “Was er sagte.”

Sir Ian McKellen, British Actor: “Well dear boy, I am happy to reassure you that it has been a lifetime since I had one.”

Stella Creasy, Member of Parliament of the United Kingdom, feminist: “Yes. Therefore I will look forward to the gender pay gap finally closing.”

Dua Lipa, English singer songwriter: “A recliner?!?”

Boris Johnson, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom: “I er, um er, um I, um er….Downing Street vaginas. Categorically no.”

Prince Andrew, Duke of York: “Yes, and none of them were underage.”

J. K. Rowling, British author: “That question demonstrates that you do not understand the complexities of this issue. It is not, ‘Can a man have a vagina?’ It is, ‘Can a woman have a penis?’”

Priti Patel, Home Secretary of the United Kingdom: “These so called men can have whatever they like. They are not crossing my English Channel.”

Will Smith, Oscar winning actor: “Why ask that? Haven’t I suffered enough?”

Godzilla, the enormous, destructive, prehistoric sea monster empowered by nuclear radiation: “When I visits Tokyo I have neither vagina or penis.”

Keir Starmer, Leader of the Labour Party of the United Kingdom: “I’m pleased you’ve asked me this extremely important question…. Sorry…I’m going into a tunnel….you’re breaking up….”

Chris Rock, Comedian and victim of Black on Black crime: “A Muslim, a Jew and a transman walk into a cathedral….”

Joe Biden, President of the United States: “Penis cannot remain in power.”

Morrissey, (slightly racist?) English singer-songwriter: “Some girls are bigger than others.”

Imran Khan,( former) Prime Minister of Pakistan: “I do not know. However I do know I no longer have a job. It’s just not cricket.

Elon Musk, CEO of SpaceX: “Yes. I do have more money than sense.”

Volodymyr Zelenskyy, President of Ukraine: “Different question. Same answer. A no fly zone please.”

Grant Shapps, Secretary of State for Transport of the United Kingdom: “Last time I looked, no. I mean last time I looked at myself. Not that I make a habit of looking at other people, other people’s vaginas. Or lack thereof of vaginas….. Grant Shapps has messed up again haven’t I?”