Korean Women Are Fed Up And Saying No To Marriage

Should American women follow the 4B plan too?

Women in South Korea are saying no to marriage — completely. They are now embarking on a life of 4B or the four no’s. No to heterosexual marriage, no to childbirth, no to dating, and no to heterosexual sexual relationships.

Why is this happening, and should American women follow their path? Have American women been following this path?

No hand in marriage, Mr. Pervert!

In May 2023 Min Joo Lee, wrote an article on why Korean women were refusing to marry the men in their country and more broadly, completely leave men alone.

The reasons are quite honestly, gross and disturbing, starting with the misogyny experienced there and “little” perverted instances of men lifting women’s skirts in public and filming them while in the bathroom. Digital sex exploitations have taken place with men using it for revenge porn or taking photos of naked women(consensually or not) and threatening to go public with the photos.

In Korea, it is a crime to even engage in posting nude photos of yourself online, and these horrid men know that, so they’ll threaten to post a woman’s photo online and the women comply with their demands, so they won’t be arrested or embarrassed by family and friends.

South Korean women are also fed up with the lack of benefit of marriage and children.

In fact on Tik Tok, a Korean woman admitted that her own mother and grandmother said being married is overrated. If you want peace, freedom, and a good life — remain single. This is quite different from what older women have taught a generation before.

I think South Korean women are just tired of still getting paid less than men, looked down upon, and are not attracted to the idea of being someone’s wife when she will more than likely bear more of the burden because she is a woman.

Note: African American women been taking care of the home all their own as a majority. However, their families and churches still preach getting married and having children or they are looked down upon. This typically goes for most American women no matter their race.

The 4B Plan

Instead of fighting the men and protesting, South Korean women are simply boycotting men — by silently minding their business and forming their own communities.

They are completely leaving men out of the equation. They are not fighting in courts, they are not waving signs or pleading for the men to understand — they are simply “going their own way”

The 4B plan or the four no’s are: bihon or refusal of marriage, bichulson or no to childbirth, biyeonae or no to dating, and finally biseksu or no to heterosexual sexual relationships.

Members of this group to tend to have shaved heads or short hair and some are professed lesbians or prefer to be to themselves without a partner at all.

Even within this movement there are disagreements because some women may not want to cut their hair or stop wearing makeup; outside of this little opposition however, the movement is a real thing and has been since 2018.

As she grew older, Youngmi found herself depressed, unsure of what her future held, and financially unstable. In Korea’s patriarchal society — in which women are generally expected to defer to their fathers and to adhere to rigid beauty standards — she felt like a perpetual victim, obsessed by the wrongs done to her by her father and pressured into maintaining her appearance in order to please men. — From an article in “The Cut” website.

After reading this part, I stopped to reflect on what I know of Korean culture and to be honest, I know next to nothing. I do enjoy their KDramas and anime that are quite addicting, but what I notice more than anything is that they put strict care into their appearance and the men in these dramas are just as flashy.

The Korean men in the film are flashy, handsome, strong and are popular love interests, and so women all over the world probably believe ALL Korean men are this way and according to some articles and social media…they are not.

South Korean women are facing serious drama in their country right now. A Korean woman was murdered in a public bathroom by a man, simply because he felt he “was ignored by women”.

Recently, I published an article on why women tend to love dangerous alpha males in books but not in real life. It generated an interesting discussion in the comment section, but I fully stand by what I said: It’s cute in the books because there is a happily ever and the woman is protected and desired by her man.

I also said that in real life, that may not be the case. If a man is dangerous, then he is dangerous through and through.

This is an example of how misogyny can harm and delete women. No matter what race or culture she resides in.

Should American women adopt the 4B plan too?

In a way, this is what the feminist movement was all about. Creating safe opportunities for women to be free.

American women have been put through the ringer as well. She is often left alone to care for the children, even while married and is expected many times to not only work but still care for home. For those who do not work, they are basically birthing receptacles for their male partners and let’s not even get into if the guy is loyal or not.

In my opinion, I don’t think the 4B plan should be pushed or promoted to women everywhere. South Korean women have a slightly unique situation in which they are being harmed and not even being heard, so them forming a plan is what’s creating peace for them.

This is not to say women everywhere are not experiencing some form of hate against them — I believe and see that we all are. I just think the plan will only work for those who are serious about it as a response to some danger or crime against their being.

As a married woman myself, I can’t tell others not to ever get married or not to ever have children, but I do agree women need to have that choice. Every women do not have to get married and have children. Anything you “have to” do will eventually become a thing you resent.

Women are resenting the societal norm because they are tired and fed up and rightfully so.

I do understand that men also “go their own way” as well because as quiet as it is kept, they are suffering in silence too from societal pressures.

All I am presenting here is a reason why the 4B plan may work for some and not others.

Thank you for reading.

Disclaimer: I am not Korean, so there may be some cultural information am missing. Please feel free to help me understand more by commenting on this article and remember to keep it respectful, and cordial.