Knowing When To Let Go of A Dream

I became a Dreamer after listening to ‘Super Trouper’ by Abba

The fact that you’ve had a dream ever since you were little doesn't necessarily mean that the dream is right for you as an adult with a fully formed personality. I say it's best to adjust your dreams and goals to fit the person you have become. And it’s okay to drop some childhood dreams.

The Birth of My Dream

Many people who know me know I’ve always wanted to be a singer. It all started when I was about 7 years old

One night, I had just received some good old beating from my mum. I’m not sure why — it’s been a really long time so it’s hard to remember all the details but I remember missing my dad so much that night. Because I believed my mum was being mean to me. Actually, I usually felt this way whenever my mum hits me — don't worry it's the usual parenting style in my country, even though I'm totally against it.

That night, I went into my room and switched off the lights, and fell to the bed crying. I could still hear my mum shout and complain about me all the way from the sitting room.

Her yelling was so upsetting that I could no longer bear hearing her yammering on about how silly I was. So I decided to turn on the radio but her voice was so loud that I could barely hear the music coming from the radio.

I knew I couldn’t even dare to increase the volume of the radio unless I wanted round 2 of the beating.

So what I did was, I moved closer to the radio and pressed my ear against its speakers.

The song playing on the radio was super trouper by ABBA — which turned out to be my all-time favorite music band by the way.

As the music played, I noticed I was beginning to get calm, and somehow, some of the words in the music resonated with me in such an amazing way that I began to feel goosebumps all over my body. That was actually my first experience with goosebumps — at least as far as I can remember.

At this point, I could no longer hear my mother yelling. Before I knew it, it was morning. So apparently, I had slept off while listening to the song.

That morning and all through the day, all I could think of was how awesome ABBA was and how much it would be nice to be a musician just like them.

So that day after school, I picked up my little book — which I usually write poems in and turned some of the poems into songs. That day was the beginning of my dream of becoming a famous singer.

My Misconception

You see the reason why I got so emotional that night wasn’t just that my mum beat me, it was that I had no dad to come to my rescue when she did.

I remembered some of my friends from school who talked about how their fathers never let their mum or anyone else hit them. Their dads would always protect them. But here I was being beaten up by my mum and I had no one to protect me.

”Tonight, the Super Trouper beams are gonna blind me but I won’t feel blue like I always do cause somewhere in the crowd there’s you” — ABBA

That night, in my bedroom, as I pressed my ear against the radio, listening to those lines, ‘cause somewhere in the crowd there's you’, I felt sorry for myself. I had no dad to love me enough to defend me like my friends' dads. Then It occurred to me that getting to sing to a crowd of people who loved me would make up for the one person who never did.

Looking back now, I see that those dreams were a result of my misinformation. I wasn't mature enough to understand the reason why that song spoke to my childish mind the way it did.

And besides, I had no idea about the downsides of being a famous singer.

To my childish brain, being a singer and having millions of people love me and scream my name whenever they watched me perform or even as much as pass by on the streets, equated to love and acceptance.

I thought life on the road, touring different countries, having to go on different stages, and being on the red carpet having my pictures taken by tons of photographers, would somehow mean I finally made it in life.

I never really considered the possibilities of having to live a life that’s constantly on a schedule constructed by a manager who probably wouldn’t give a rat’s a** about my mental wellbeing but is only concerned with the money I make for the team.

I even saw several interviews where some famous persons complained of being put under so much pressure to the point they even considered suicide. But to my little brain, I was like “boo hoo”. I felt they didn’t know what they were talking about. I mean, who doesn’t like me famous?

Apparently, growing up and getting to know Me better, turns out, I don’t.

My Realization

I have come to realize that nothing could make up for the love of a father in a young child’s life.

Though I never got to spend much time with my father, I’m mature enough to have found love in those that are present in my life.

Now I know that even though the life I so dreamed of having as a child, having to always be on the road, performing for massive crowds — you know the whole rockstar lifestyle, sounds awesome and is probably the dream of many, it's just not mine — at least not anymore

I've never been the outgoing, ‘social butterfly’ kind of person. I’m extremely introverted — which I’m trying to losing up a bit on by the way. I also love working behind the scenes. Not because I’m shy or anything like that, I just find that that’s what I love.

Even though I definitely still love to be a singer and would love to do so for the rest of my life, I would love to do it in the simplest form possible — which is to just sing. Without all the pressure of having to live up to the title ‘Celebrity’

Conclusion

It's okay to let go of a dream that no longer suits you as a person especially as you grow and evolve. Letting go doesn’t necessarily have to mean that you gave up on your dreams.

It could mean that you got older and wiser enough to know exactly what you truly want from life. As for me, I got to understand that I just want the peace that comes with simplicity and happiness.

If you’re like me, it’s okay to move on. Go on and make conscious decisions that make you a happier being.