Kiss Me Where the Sun Don’t Shine State

Summary

Florida's Education Department has rejected 54 math textbooks, citing references to critical race theory, gender identity, and social-emotional learning, sparking controversy over educational content and state censorship.

Abstract

The Florida Education Department's recent rejection of 54 math textbooks has ignited a debate on educational standards and censorship. The decision was based on claims that the books contained prohibited topics such as critical race theory, gender identity, and social-emotional learning. Specific objections included the use of non-traditional names like "Yonita," the presence of a Honduran flag in a math problem, and the inclusion of quotes promoting a growth mindset. The move reflects broader political and cultural tensions, with Florida asserting its educational autonomy and rejecting content it deems inappropriate or ideologically charged.

Opinions

The article suggests that the Education Department's actions are influenced by political ideology, particularly in its rejection of content related to critical race theory and gender identity.
There is a sentiment that the state's objections to certain names and cultural references, such as "Yonita" and the Honduran flag, are indicative of a narrow view of American identity and culture.
The piece implies that Florida's educational standards are being shaped by a desire to maintain a specific social and political status quo, as evidenced by the preference for "traditional" names and the rejection of materials perceived to promote social-emotional learning.
The author criticizes the rejection of the Fibonacci Series as a misunderstanding of mathematical concepts and an overreach in the search for "liberal" content.
There is a clear opposition to the state's actions, framing them as a "Socialist plot" and an attack on educational freedom, as well as a reflection of anti-intellectualism.
The article mocks Florida's educational ranking and its satisfaction with mediocrity, contrasting it with a more progressive approach to education that values emotional intelligence and diversity.
Governor Ron DeSantis is portrayed as a figurehead in this educational culture war, with his actions and statements reflecting a broader agenda to appeal to a specific voter base.

This is America, darn it — let’s get cracking and ban some books!

Florida’s Education Department rejected 54 math books last week, claiming some of the texts referred to critical race theory … and other “prohibited topics.”

Lighthouse Point resident Christine Speedy [objected to] material related to critical race theory, gender identity and social-emotional learning.

Examples she cited include … a character waving a Honduran flag next to a math problem related to the population of Honduras; and a girl named “Yonita,” which she said is not a common American name.

Speedy cited a quote that said “to have a growth mindset, give yourself time to learn,” as an example of social-emotional learning being infused into math books. — https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/florida-rejects-54-math-books-saying-contain-critical-race-theory-rcna24842

Amid the swirl of controversy surrounding Florida’s decision to reject math textbooks just as cities and towns were poised to purchase texts to prepare for the next school year, the Education Department issued the following explanation.

Books should name their characters Liam or Emma, which top the list for Florida’s children.¹ Not Yonita. That sounds like some pesky ACLU lawyer. Or the codename of an Antifa cell. “This is Yonita. Requesting dead drop coordinates for this evening’s entertainment.” Since Florida is Deep South, we’re also good with Bubba, Jolene, Delmont, Bucephalus, and Yoknapatawpha.

Several books teach the Fibonacci Series. Is this a coded reference to some liberal sleazeball Netflix production? Plus they left out numbers. Like 7 and 9. Not good enough? We use them in Florida. A lot. For example, we’ve got 879 per 100,000 people behind bars. That’s tenth in the country.² But Fibonacci #cancelled 7 and 9. Coincidence? I don’t think so. We’re not getting screwed out of 10th place by some MIT gearheads. Those digits were good enough for Jeff Davis. They’re good enough for us.

One book claims 81,268,924 minus 74,216,154 equals 7,052,770. Nuh-uh. Not in Florida. It equals a Socialist plot to deprive this great country of its Constitutionally-elected leader.

Why is it always black text on top of white pages? Wherever you look, critical race theory is picking a fight. Hey, we’re standing our ground.

Enough with the Honduran flags. This is Tallahassee. Not Tegucigalpa. Fly the Stars and Stripes. Better yet, the Stars and Bars. How ‘bout a big ol’ Rebel Yell, Delmont?

Guess we have to skip this one, huh? Didn’t make the Fibonacci cut either. Well, guess what. We’re keeping our damn sixes.

What’s that? They said we have to add Ron to that list? OK, and Ron. Bubba, Jolene, Delmont, Bucephalus, Yoknapatawpha, and Ron.

Florida kids don’t need a “growth mindset.” They need to get on the business end of counting on their fingers. We’re thrilled that Florida “finished 23rd among the 50 states … with an overall score of 75.6 out of 100 points and a grade of C.”³ The nail that sticks out gets hammered. Looking at you, Massachusetts. Here in Florida, we’re middle America. That’s a C. And damn proud of it.

We’ve had enough of pedagogical elites coddling students so they can understand and control their emotions and empathize with peers and other unmanly crap. Empathy didn’t kick limey butt at Yorktown in 1781. It sure didn’t help the patriots who trashed Pelosi’s laptop the tragic day that Pence choked. And by patriots, I don’t mean Bill Belichick and his socialist comrades. Yeah, we got Brady now. Suck it up.

We’re done with books that troll numbers by calling them irrational. This is the land of the limbic brain, son. We’ve had it with the libs and their snide, Princeton-educated, frontal lobes. You don’t like amygdalae? Move to Berkeley.

Florida governor Ron DeSantis has long been an advocate of education. Recently, DeSantis took time out of his busy schedule to yell at a group of high school students for wearing masks, explaining,

“I know education is mostly about yelling at students because — let’s face it — they’re kids, which means they have no clue what the hell they’re doing. I’m not the kind of guy who sits sit on the sidelines while our exhausted teachers wear out their vocal cords screaming and yelling. So yeah, I pitched in, and you know what? Every one of those teachers is gonna vote for me when I make my move. Buckle up, McDonalds boy.”

¹ According to the Social Security Administration, Liam and Emma are the most common names for Florida children. Ron de Santis will find a way to fix that.

Thanks to Amy Sea and Toni Crowe for editorial feedback.

The Great Divide

Kiss Me Where the Sun Don’t Shine State

This is America, darn it — let’s get cracking and ban some books!

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