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Abstract

k, and how to have fun with other nerdy people. (They played DnD a lot).</p><p id="bd19">It was a big reason I came to LA.</p><h1 id="34a5">I Manifested Them Into My Life</h1><p id="7228">After a while, I started to think and talk like Dan. Cynical, biting, resentful, but also creative and funny.</p><p id="5112">Like a comic starting out, I was just copying what I had seen someone else do.</p><p id="e89b">A strange turn of events, not entirely unrelated to my fandom, my girlfriend’s brother-in-law became friends with Dan and Justin (Roiland, Co-creator of Rick and Morty).</p><p id="e129">Meeting them, and even partying with them on a boat with the cast of <i>Game of Thrones</i> (true story) was a strange experience, to say the least.</p><p id="56b0">Not saying anything about them, but at this point, my imitation of Dan was turning vile. I had a sick ego.</p><h1 id="180c">It Finally Leads To A Breaking Point</h1><p id="d103">It all came to a head when my girlfriend of 4 years left me.</p><p id="2bdd">Looking back, this was the right move. But at the time, it was life-ending. I didn’t see a way forward.</p><p id="12c8">My gigantic, sick ego had been destroyed.</p><p id="df7d">I compulsively listened to Harmontown for years after this, leaning into the sickness and my depression.</p><h1 id="8dd0">Forgiveness</h1><p id="

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5c47">After about 20 spiritual awakenings, slowly pulling myself out of the muck of the underworld, I can finally get some perspective on the whole deal.</p><p id="4a36">Dan was a good mentor to me. I wanted to be a writer, and he showed me it was possible and that I didn’t need anyone’s permission.</p><p id="fa0d">Suicidal people have something right: <i>something </i>needs to die. The biggest mistake is that they think it is their physical body. Really, their egos need to die. When you’re really identified with your ego, it can be hard to tell the difference.</p><p id="b227">It was a hell of a struggle, but I finally let my old ego die, and it didn’t take me with it. I am thankful for that.</p><h1 id="5e38">New Heroes</h1><p id="e859">Mentors come and go. Losing them is like Luke losing Obi-Wan. Painful, and worse is draw out longer than needed.</p><p id="ff6d">I hope this doesn’t scare us away from getting new mentors and heroes. They are like a north star toward which we walk. We probably picked the wrong one! When you get a little closer, don’t be afraid to pick a new, better north star.</p><p id="9e44">Happy hero hunting, everyone!</p><p id="1b1c"><i>Originally published at <a href="https://www.taylorforeman.com/blog/kill-your-heroes">https://www.taylorforeman.com</a> on August 10, 2020.</i></p></article></body>

Kill Your Heroes

A Kid From a Small Town in the South, and I Loved Dan Harmon.

Photo by sebastiaan stam on **Unsplash**

I listened to every single episode of Harmontown. I wanted to be a writer like Dan, and I loved his perspective.

After having moved to LA, become a writer, and even met him, he is no longer my hero. I wish him the best, but I have moved on.

There should always come a time for the master to “die” so to speak. You can’t keep growing otherwise.

Heroes Can Start Us on Our Journey

When I was in a town of 2,000 people, I knew no one that was really like me. I didn’t know it was possible for me to become a writer, yet.

I listened to Harmontown and Dan and his friends became my friends. I followed him on his journey as not only a writer but as an alcoholic and an abuser.

As a kid in pain, I relished in Dan’s suffering. It meant that I would be rewarded for mine.

Looking back, Dan did teach me a lot. How to be honest, how to be brave, how to not give a fuck, and how to have fun with other nerdy people. (They played DnD a lot).

It was a big reason I came to LA.

I Manifested Them Into My Life

After a while, I started to think and talk like Dan. Cynical, biting, resentful, but also creative and funny.

Like a comic starting out, I was just copying what I had seen someone else do.

A strange turn of events, not entirely unrelated to my fandom, my girlfriend’s brother-in-law became friends with Dan and Justin (Roiland, Co-creator of Rick and Morty).

Meeting them, and even partying with them on a boat with the cast of Game of Thrones (true story) was a strange experience, to say the least.

Not saying anything about them, but at this point, my imitation of Dan was turning vile. I had a sick ego.

It Finally Leads To A Breaking Point

It all came to a head when my girlfriend of 4 years left me.

Looking back, this was the right move. But at the time, it was life-ending. I didn’t see a way forward.

My gigantic, sick ego had been destroyed.

I compulsively listened to Harmontown for years after this, leaning into the sickness and my depression.

Forgiveness

After about 20 spiritual awakenings, slowly pulling myself out of the muck of the underworld, I can finally get some perspective on the whole deal.

Dan was a good mentor to me. I wanted to be a writer, and he showed me it was possible and that I didn’t need anyone’s permission.

Suicidal people have something right: something needs to die. The biggest mistake is that they think it is their physical body. Really, their egos need to die. When you’re really identified with your ego, it can be hard to tell the difference.

It was a hell of a struggle, but I finally let my old ego die, and it didn’t take me with it. I am thankful for that.

New Heroes

Mentors come and go. Losing them is like Luke losing Obi-Wan. Painful, and worse is draw out longer than needed.

I hope this doesn’t scare us away from getting new mentors and heroes. They are like a north star toward which we walk. We probably picked the wrong one! When you get a little closer, don’t be afraid to pick a new, better north star.

Happy hero hunting, everyone!

Originally published at https://www.taylorforeman.com on August 10, 2020.