Politics, Humor, Satire
Kev, Mo, Matt, and Phone Calls
Representative Kevin McCarthy, now there’s a decent chap, right? Well, yes, I agree, he’s fallen into some bad habits. Lying is only one of them. From Kev’s point of view, it’s more of a practical joke, you know, ‘See, I fooled you.’ kind of thing. Just a prank more or less. The wee devil.
Look, you can’t harness an ass to a horse and expect them to be instep. Kev, the ass in this scenario, stabled himself with the most extreme members of the G.O.P. This, as all asses will do, is only in the interest of advancing his own career to become a horse. Then he’ll be a horse's ass.
Dear old Kev is knee deep in horse shit. Up until he becomes a horse’s ass, he will conceal from us all the most irritating aspects of his personality. The truth is, Kev could have been an honest ass if he’d stuck to his principles.
Kev went to the trouble of pointing out that Matt and Mo were endangering the security of lawmakers, and these two imbecilic individuals were joined by Lauren, a darling of a dildo user, and Barry from the great state of Alabama.
Kev, to his credit, was trying to suggest that the world of politics had gotten too crazy. He was trying to be a good ass but being good isn’t what his supporters want. There came the expression where his ass was between a rock and a hard place.
“He’s putting people in jeopardy,” Kev said of Mr. Gaetz in a phone call. “And he doesn’t need to be doing this. We saw what people would do in the Capitol, you know, and these people came prepared with rope, with everything else.
Matt, with an IQ of 42, one point more than Don Snr., responded with a blistering two words. “Weak men.” A long sentence for Matt.
Mo, having had too many ports and lemons early on Jan 6, told his adoring public, this is the day, “…American patriots start taking down names and kicking ass.” (Did he mean Kev’s?)
Kev, though, said of that statement. “That’s almost something that goes further than what the president said.” (Well, nearly, Kev.)
But Kev, on the phone, brave as a stallion, suggested he was going to stop their inflammatory conduct. “Our members have got to start paying attention to what they say, too, and you can’t put up with that shit.”
So, Kev was on a truth run, saying all the right things.
What went wrong? Well, Kev put his tongue in his ass and started talking through it. Admitting he never said any such thing. Denied suggesting he would urge Don Snr., to resign.
Kev denies everything and is, of course, now in the court of public opinion.
His defense: Media lies.
Good morning, Mr. McCarthy. Despite being heard on hundreds of phone calls, you appear to deny everything we’ve heard. Is that so?
Absolutely, cross my heart and hope Biden dies.
So, you see, folks, Kevin McCarthy is a fake criminal, not a real one. He’s just another politician in a difficult spot. He is guilty only for a lack of backbone and being unable to come to terms with his own truth. He will take his embarrassment on the chin than look a traitor to unintelligent republicans.
For a week or two, the Capitol will be abuzz, then another whiff of indecent behavior will become news, and Mr. McCarthy will disappear from the limelight until he’s crowned Speaker of The House.
Then Kev will be a real criminal.
