Keeping David Perlmutter Busy and Off the Streets
The best click bait story you’ll read this hour
We all know that David Perlmutter is the highlighting king.
Not only does he highlight nearly every line in stories — which never fails to bring a smile to my face and piloerection to my lower limbs— but he does it with alacrity.
Often, as I’m THINKING of hitting the “publish” button, David has already highlighted the first half of my about-to-be story.
With all that balderdash in mind, my extremely tangentially wired “brain” leapt to two thoughts.
#1 There’s a lesson to be learned from everyone on the planet. (deep huh?)
#2 David P needs more highlighting practice. (also profound if you really think about it)
Soooooooooooooo …
What is the lesson of David P?
Just spitballing here, but how about … write without fear, edit without mercy.
EVERY highlighted line is your golden opportunity to reexamine and edit. The good Mr. P is gently asking us to improve, and that’s a good thing.
Warning: I don’t know what any of these things are, but — for the purpose of writing this dog to completion — I’ll pretend that I do.
Because of DP I’ve:
- reeled in dangling participles
- sutured together split infinitives
- stopped ending sentences with prepositions like at
- korected speling
- punctuated! “like” a: muthalovin’ (pro)
A good dose of highlighting will do that for ya.
And this all leads me to this steaming kernel of Medium knowledge …
and point #2
Let’s all give DP more highlighting practice
First the steaming knowledge kernel.
Whenever you change the least little thing about an already-highlighted line, the highlighting vanishes.
Try it, you’ll see that I speaketh the trutheth.
That means, if you take the advice of lesson number one above and edit all highlighted lines, all highlights will fly away into the ether and David will have to return to your story and re-highlight it.
Item #2 in action, David will be getting more much-needed highlighting practice.
Since you can do this endlessly, and so can David (or his designees), I believe I’ve just created the world’s first perpetual motion machine.
If this time-waster was the highlight (or perhaps, sadly, the climax) of your day and you’re jonesing for another highlight gem, which in turn contains links to other highlighting gems, check this shit out.
You’ve been warned.