Keep quiet while working on your better self
I understand well if you want to tell everyone that you are improving your life from the ground up, but there are a few good reasons not to.
I’m the last one to say you shouldn’t try to work on yourself. Personality development, self-optimization, and productivity are my hobbies. I try to write better faster from month to month, take food supplements to optimize my health and want to get fit again, which is why I jog.
Your progress puts pressure on others.
People don’t like being put under pressure.
When we stand together in groups at a party, everyone wants to show their best side. If something isn’t going so well in your own life or you’ve made a mistake, we construct a story that we can believe ourselves and tell others.
We tell everybody how busy we are with our jobs, children, dogs, cats, and house cleaning and that’s why we just don’t find the time to do sports.
We didn’t get a promotion and tell the others that we didn’t want it anyway. We only applied because we thought the boss expected us to.
And then one guy comes along and tells us that he has had the same experience, but now he can do anything he wants. He says we only have to set smart goals, learn time management, apply the Pareto principle and a thousand other things we’ve always done wrong anyway.
This guy’s gonna be alone pretty soon, cause all the other party guests are gonna dodge him. Nobody wants to hear that he does everything wrong and that there are better principles to live by.
So don’t be a pain in the ass and keep your progress to yourself unless someone asks you.
Especially the people who care about you will slow you down.
Anyone who writes books and anyone who has started a business will know that: You make your plan, and you want to tell everyone about it right away. It is assumed that everyone will be happy with you and wish you luck.
Unfortunately, the opposite often happens. The people try to dissuade you from running into your misfortune because this is what will happen in their opinion.
They don’t mean no harm, but they’ll ruin your enthusiasm. Your parents, your spouse and your children will be the first to try to dissuade you from your new course. Either because they want to protect you, or because they’re afraid they’ll have to change too if you do.
So do yourself a favor and keep your big plans from your loved ones as long as you can. And if you can’t, tell as little as possible. Of course, you should tell your life partner that you will quit the job because you need more time to get your startup going, but don’t do it until it becomes concrete. There’s no reason to upset anyone today if you plan to quit your job in three years.
But I have to talk to somebody about this, don’t I?
That’s right because nobody’s an island. We are dependent on receiving confirmation from others and exchanging ideas with like-minded people.
But if you need someone to motivate you and help you with words and deeds, friends and family are the wrong addresses in most cases. Look for other people who are either on the same path as you or who have walked this path already. Only they will really understand you.
Join online communities, find mastermind groups or a coach to pay for. No one who is not on the same path as you will really care about it and in the worst case will feel annoyed by you and your optimism.
So the next time you want to take on a great new habit or plan to change your life radically, think twice before telling everyone. Don’t talk about what you intend to do. Let others discover your success.
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