Just you watch your tongue!
Weird scenes inside a rock show …
It’s a pretty safe bet to say that veterans of the live music scene will have witnessed some wild and crazy things happen both on stage and off. And I’m sure some of those experiences have been downright bizarre!
Performing naked? Sure, it’s been done plenty of times. Too drunk to play? Yep, I’m sure we’ve all seen that too! How about somebody spraying mace in the crowd? Unfortunately, I’ve experienced that. Or walking into the men’s toilets to find the singer of a hard core punk band standing at the urinal talking to his penis. Yes, I can tick that off my list!
Let me share a bizarre yet highly amusing experience with you.
I was a big fan of the Australian folk rock band Weddings Parties Anything, affectionately known as the Weddos. The band was the brainchild of Mick Thomas (singer/songwriter/guitarist), combining traditional folk music and a knack for storytelling with roots, punk and the pub rock sound. Acoustic and electric guitars, bass and drums, with mandolin, violin and Wally’s squeezebox! They were often compared to The Pogues, with whom they toured. I saw them live many times and they always put on a good performance.
This particular Weddos gig was held on a Tuesday afternoon as part of a series of ‘Rock Against Work’ gigs hosted by the Punters Club Hotel in inner suburban Fitzroy, in Melbourne.
A popular song of the band’s is called ‘Ticket In Tatts’, with Tatts (short for Tattersall’s) being the national lotteries. The chorus features the line “I’m ten cents short of a dollar, but I feel like a man with a ticket in Tatts”. Now, somewhere in the deep past, a tradition started where fans in the crowd, at the singing of the chorus, would throw torn up Tatts tickets and ten cent pieces up onto the stage. Soon enough, the coins ended up being thrown at the band members. Often, I watched Mick shield his face so he could stay at the microphone and sing. However, too much damage was done to the band members and their instruments, so they stopped playing the song in their live sets. In an interview from a couple of years ago, Mick stated that he had only recently been able to play the song again, in his post-Weddos ensembles, without fear of being pelted!
So, the Punter’s Club is full of, well, punters, on a Tuesday afternoon to see Weddos rip through an hour and a half of classic songs. As expected, the coins flew when ‘Ticket in Tatts’ was played.
In the middle of the set they played the song ‘Summons In The Morning’, a song about a guy being arrested for pasting a gig poster to a brick wall. Below, for context, is part of the lyrics:
“Son, it’s too late and I don’t want a debate
There is no way you can get off with a warning
Son, don’t be dense! You know it’s an offence
And you must expect a summons in the morning.”
I said, “Are you mad? Perhaps you’re just unwell
Could it be your quota’s looking meagre?”
He said, “Just you watch your tongue or we’ll have you in the cell.”
The junior constable she looked so eager
I said, “Why don’t you go find some axe murderer?
Someone you can chase and apprehend?
Anyone can see that we are meaning little harm
Anyone can see that what we do does not offend.”
Now, at the precise moment the words “Just you watch your tongue … “ were sung by Mick, an object flew through the air and landed on the stage. A couple of the band members didn’t see it, but Pete Lawler (bass) saw it, he peered down at it, then called for the band to stop the song! Laughing madly, Pete picked up the object to show the others. It was a cow’s tongue!!! More than a foot long, pink-grey, and raw. There was much laughter and shaking of heads from the band, and the crowd roared! It sure was something different than those damn ten cent pieces! Pete draped the tongue over his amp, Mick counted them in and they finished the song.
The tongue got a lot of attention and eventually the culprit came forward and admitted that she’d thrown it. The guys thought it was hysterical. What I found even funnier was the thought of a young woman going to an afternoon gig with a cow’s tongue in her hand bag! What if they didn’t play ‘Summons In The Morning’??
Given the broad range of subject matter in Mick Thomas’ lyrics, I reckon he is truly thankful that nothing worse has ever been thrown on his stage.
We all know stupid stuff gets thrown on stages around the world (think Tom Jones and underwear, Green Day in a mud fight, Justin Bieber getting egged). And for some reason idiots throw cans and bottles, often full, at the acts they have paid good money to see. There is even a Wikipedia page listing “bottling” incidents. Actually, the throwing bottles at the band scene in The Blues Brothers is pretty funny!
I’d love to know of other examples of bands having song-related things thrown up on stage. Got an example you can share? Let me know!!
