Just Like the Chilli Sapling
A poem about knowing when you’re not ready for a relationship
I’m not ready Just like the chilli sapling You effortlessly placed into an empty egg box And fashioned into a first date gift.
Was it meant to represent our relationship That would soon progress from sapling to shoot A testament to our emotional maturity Proof that we were both really ready?
It didn’t flourish It almost outright refused to Out of malice It didn’t wish to see me smile.
Had he tested me? Was this not a real chilli plant? The gift was more of a challenge That made me question if I was even worthy.
I didn’t know what else it could want After bestowing all its needs As gracefully as the sapling sat, cross-legged Gazing upon me without eyes to judge.
But now, I realise Throughout the months letting its silent whispers Lose themselves before my ears It was telling me something I would have refused entry.
Expecting growth in a barren bed Possesses a childlike naivety And stunted minds make for dry soil Our relationship, like this plant, was not ready.
The two dates we had Roused emotions, raw and plentiful That stood out of place Even amongst trees that have taken years to take shape.
I was not who I wanted to be And neither were you Despite constantly grinding our minds together In hopes of life sprouting from the powder we created.
I kept the sapling alive until this very day To prove to my past self Who allowed her feelings to run wild As reeds overwhelming a forest floor.
Unlike our relationship The little sapling is now standing strong on its own And grinning at me without a smile Allowing the sun to sink into its ageing face.
After all, it’s not the sapling’s fault for existing Just as it’s not our fault for trying It serves as a reminder that, just like the chilli sapling, I too was a shoot amongst mighty forests.
© Rose Butcher, 2021. All rights reserved.
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