Summary

A transgender female, diagnosed four years prior and on Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), shares her experiences and challenges with her physical appearance, particularly her breasts, and how society perceives her gender presentation during a summer season.

Abstract

The author, a transgender woman who presents as male but has developed female breasts due to HRT, discusses the complexities of her gender expression during the summer. She describes her breasts as a "very respectable pair of female breasts," sized at 38DD, which prohibit her from going topless in public due to a newfound sense of modesty and the potential for public confusion. Unlike men with "moobs," her breasts are distinctly female, with minimal body hair and feminine areolas, making it impossible for her to blend in when topless. The author expresses empathy for women who wish to go braless, especially in the heat, and reveals her own unique experiences with going braless, such as the sensation of her breasts bouncing while driving her Jeep. She contrasts her body shape with the younger, more proportional bodies of women at the beach, acknowledging her own rectangular shape and a small belly she attributes to the hormones she needs. The author anticipates a year of interest regarding her breasts and her wardrobe choices, while also noting the politeness of those around her who may be curious but do not voice their thoughts.

Opinions

The author feels that going topless would cause public confusion due to her breast development from HRT.
She believes that her breasts are clearly female and not just "man boobs," which is a source of pride but also a challenge in public settings.
The author empathizes with cisgender women who want to go braless, indicating a shared experience of discomfort and desire for freedom.
She finds humor and a sense of novelty in the motion of her breasts during everyday activities, which is a new experience for her.
The author accepts her body shape, including the belly she attributes to hormone therapy, as part of her transition.
She hopes that by sharing her experiences, she can help other transgender individuals feel less alone and educate cisgender people about the transgender experience.

BREAST STORIES

Just Another Guy on the Beach With Boobs

Hot time, summer in the city

I am spending another summer in my gender twilight zone. I present as male but, after being diagnosed as a transgender female and 4 years on HRT (female hormones), I have a very respectable pair of female breasts. 38DD to be exact. I can’t, in either good conscience and for a new strange sense of modesty, go topless.

Usually, the guys with moobs (man boobs) are overweight, bald, and have hairy chests. They seem to have no problem going topless and they tend to look like gorillas with all that hair. I fit none of those descriptions.

One result of hormones is a near elimination of all body hair, particularly on my chest. My breasts are clearly breasts and not moobs and my areolas are distinctly female. Even the shape of my breasts defy moob characterization.

Yep, no chance of ignoring I am on female hormones.

Going topless would be so totally confusing to the viewing public. I can easily envision slack jaws and bulging eyes of disbelief, a job offer from a traveling circus, and the odd sexual offer from the local creepy guy.

I read a lot about women around my age wanting to go braless and I definitely get it, particularly in the summertime. It is one more sweaty, clingy layer but I wish I still had the choice. I still present as male (well kind of) so bra straps on me would also look creepy.

My two-piece bathing suit is a rash guard t-shirt and regular shorts.

A unique experience about going braless is my breasts in motion, for example, bounce going down a flight of stairs. My current favorite is driving my old Jeep Wrangler that has less suspension than my breasts and hitting a series of bumps while driving down a road. Admittedly it actually makes me giggle as they bounce, which in itself is a new experience.

Guys don’t giggle.

During the summer at the beach, I have to take solace when a woman passes me in a bikini top that I know with my chest is bigger but their bodies are younger and a lot more proportional. My body is shaped like a rectangle along with the additional enhancement provided by my female hormones, a little belly that I can’t seem to get rid of (I accept that as the dues I must pay for finally getting the hormones I needed).

I will cruise through this summer without comment or criticism regarding my breasts. It could be that people are too polite to ask and are remarking amongst themselves. I am not sure what next summer will bring and what my wardrobe will be.

It should be an interesting year.

Emma Holiday

Thank you for reading my work.

Please also read:

Transgender Transit Humor

Hey, eyes up here!

medium.com

Trans and Bra Challenged: Part Two

I wrote a piece about my first foray into the bizarre world of bras. The article can be found here:

medium.com

The Transgender Pain

The Pain

emmah1017.medium.com

Writers note: If you have read any of my writings on Medium you will have noticed a definite theme: the incredible pain of gender dysphoria and all the difficult aspects of just being transgender.

My writing has three specific goals:

1. Writing is my therapy. I have a very limited outlet for my thoughts so I write to find a way to process the most profound experience in my life. I need to understand and I need to accept myself to move forward.

2. Being transgender, for me, is a very lonely existence and if I can share some of the things that I feel and think as I go through the process of transitioning with others who are transgender and, in some way, lessen their pain and sense of loneliness, then all of this public exposure of my personal thoughts is not a waste.

3. I write to help cisgender people understand that all trans people want is to be simply understood, accepted and treated as a normal person. We are.