The Authentic Eclectic
Just a Heart Beat and a Final Breath Away from the Mark I Leave on Earth
In response to Coffee Challenge: Why I want to be a better me in 2022
I am going to die.
Maybe not today; maybe not tomorrow.
The only certainty is that it will happen.
Not much different from politics and religion, death is not an acceptable topic for cocktail parties and light conversation.
And yet, unlike politics and religion, death is the one indisputable common link we all share.
And death is the very reason I steer clear from grand announcements regarding any New Year Resolutions, ever. I understand the tradition and respect those that partake. Everyone should be comfortable following whatever method toward self-improvement works best for them.
Another uncertainty?
Those very resolutions. And yet, they are made with vigor every year.
The idea of people making a resolution and successfully completing, or even tending to it, long-term, is shaky at best. Studies reveal the great uncertainty when only 46% of the resolution makers are still going after 6 months.
I do not judge or try to dissuade others from pursuing their goals in their way.
In that vein of thinking, I continue my own preferred method of growth and wellness.
I am living my so-called resolutions. My legacy of love and kindness is a daily venture and not to be taken lightly.
Today, and every day I can, I choose life and I choose to live it well.
There is no start date of 1/1 in any year. There is no ribbon at the finish line to bust through with pride come February, March, or later in that year. Not for me, anyway, and that’s okay.
My finish line is nightly.
When I lay my head on my pillow at the end of every day, I can let the success of my achievements, my well-lived daily resolution, wash over me.
It’s simple.
It’s clean.
Feel free to copy and use it if you think it may work for you.
My modified yearly resolution thought process started about 5 years ago for reasons that I tell in every personal essay I write. Trials and tribulations that eventually spurred growth and insight, had initially forced me into survival mode.
In 2017, I was charged by the State of Florida to help raise my grandson. In 2018, I divorced after 25 years of marriage, was awarded custody of my grandson, spent 10 hours with the FBI, and was asked to donate my kidney. In 2019 I moved, and again in 2020. All alone, with an infant, I packed, relocated, and unpacked solo.
I wondered what would happen if I died unexpectantly. There was little peace, lots of unrest, and self-loathing dominating my life. Was this all there was to life?
The anxiety and fear were overwhelming.
The survival mode should be temporary.
For me, it was overtaking as a lifestyle.
I revamped my life due to the unhealthy effect of hanging on, trying to mentally claw for and cling to balance. No one should wake up hating themselves or resenting their lives. I wanted out of survival mode and into thriving mode.
The only way I could fathom being better was to strive for better. It was up to me, and me alone.
That process started by looking deep within and my soul became loved again, cultivated, and nourished daily.
And, so it was that my mantra became my annual resolution in perpetuity with no special acknowledgment for the rolling over of a new year.
I will live today, striving to be a better version of me than who I was yesterday.
What that looks like in real-time:
- I let people know that I love them.
- If I am upset, I talk about it before it grows into anger.
- I seize every opportunity to make someone laugh.
- Small acts of kindness fuel me. If opportunities don’t present themselves, I manufacture one.
- I smile at everyone, and the strangers who don’t expect it are my favorite.
- Making my bed every morning starts my day feeling accomplished.
- Taking a 5-second count when I am frustrated allows time for my words to soften before delivery.
- I remind myself, through daily affirmations, that I have value.
- I don’t try to change people but I will offer them a piece of my experience.
This past year, 2021, did not allow many outreach opportunities. A pandemic throws wrenches. Isolation was not easy for loving thy neighbor. Though I still maintained my daily list, I look forward to super-charging it in 2022.
There is no doubt in my mind that no matter how well I toed the line this past year, I can improve.
And, I will.
There are still many people who can feel less alone, with a word, a hand up, sharing, or just a friendly greeting. In a world filled with hate and discord, each act of kindness, every small warm gesture, can make a difference.
In 2022 I pledge to keep on keepin’ on with my daily resolution.
I will live today, striving to be a better version of me than who I was yesterday.
Regardless of when my final day comes, I will have left no stone unturned. There will be no emotional baggage for others to question and no stilted conversations of awkwardness unfinished. To the best of my ability, there will be no regrets lingering like the last wilted flowers on my grave.
- My kids will know I loved them with all my heart.
- The grandchildren won’t wonder how I felt about them.
- My neighbors will remember me fondly.
- The strangers may not even know when I leave this earth, but I hope they remember the one time we crossed paths because they were positively impacted.
When it’s my time to go, I will do so with a bursting heart and a calm spirit.
I am going to die.
Maybe not today; maybe not tomorrow.
The only certainty is that it will happen.
Today, and every day I can, I choose life and I choose to live it well.
If it should happen in 2022, I am assured that my efforts to better myself will have been met, one day at a time, from the person I was in 2021.
I will truly rest in peace.
A special thanks to Winston and all of the Coffee Times editors: Yana Bostongirl, Dr. Preeti Singh, Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles, Drashti Shroff, Marissa W, and Sharing Randomly for their continued devotion.
Come join in the fun and write about your plans to become a better you in the New Year:
Read this similar take on New Year’s Resolutions by Michael A Wells - INFP personality type that resonated with me and you may agree.