Judge and Jury

Summary

The article discusses the nature of judgment, advocating for understanding and allowance rather than quick condemnation of others' actions, especially during challenging times like the Covid pandemic.

Abstract

The piece "Judge and Jury: Why Do We Care What They Think?" delves into the human tendency to judge others, particularly in the context of the Covid quarantine guidelines. It suggests that snap judgments can be misleading, as individuals may have valid reasons for their actions that are not immediately apparent. The author encourages readers to practice non-judgmental observation, which fosters understanding and allows for diversity in behavior without creating a sense of separation. The article emphasizes that self-trust reduces the need for external validation and judgment, leading to a more harmonious coexistence with others. It concludes by promoting the concept of allowance as a means to facilitate change and counteract the negative effects of judgment.

Opinions

Judgment is seen as a reflexive response that can lead to unnecessary separation and misunderstanding.
People often judge others as a way to validate their own beliefs and behaviors, seeking safety in sameness.
The author posits that dropping judgment enables one to observe others impartially and understand their motivations.
Allowance, or accepting people as they are without trying to change them, is presented as crucial for personal growth and societal harmony.
Self-trust is highlighted as key to reducing the inclination to judge or seek validation from others.
The article suggests that constant comparison and seeking external validation undermine self-confidence and foster judgmental attitudes.
The author believes that by saying no to judgment, individuals can lead happier and more accepting lives.

Judge and Jury

Why Do We Care What They Think?

We see it every time we go out.

Someone isn’t following Covid quarantine guidelines. They’re the one with a shopping cart full of toilet paper. They leave their house every day, despite the calls to stay at home. They aren’t following the rules so they’re wrong.

That’s judgment.

Our blood pressure rises as we feel the frustration of our judgment. But what if there’s a reason for their behavior? What if they are shopping for two or three families? What if they are working at a store, or volunteering to help distribute food to seniors at risk?

Judgment is a tricky thing. Many people feel that there is safety in sameness and seek out people that are similar to themselves. We use judgement as a way to decide if we fit together. Most of what we call connection is actually based on judgment.

People who are different are often judged as being wrong or bad.

When we judge someone, that creates a separation. Your judgment doesn’t make you right about your beliefs, they are just different.

When we drop the judgment, we can observe a person more impartially. When you don’t make them wrong or bad, you don’t create a separation and can observe without trying to make them change. It also gives you a chance to understand the why of what they’re doing and sometimes their reason makes sense.

Just observe.

Even if they are being an ass-hat, you’re able to remain curious about how they are behaving. You don’t feel the need to try and change them when you don’t have judgment, you can have allowance for who they are.

Allowance is the lube to change and the antidote to judgment.

Stop the constant comparisons. When you constantly seek validation from others, you aren’t trusting yourself. If you ask for validation, you’re really asking for someone else’s judgment.

If you trust yourself, you aren’t as invested in what others are doing. and you aren’t trying to change them.

Say no to judgment. You’ll be happy that you did.