Joy Triggers
What brings joy to your life?
A wonderful coach I worked with, Kathy Cleveland Bull, introduced me to the idea of “joy triggers.” Kathy described joy triggers as the things (people, places, things, circumstances) that bring about, or trigger, feelings of joy.
Before she introduced that concept, I had never really thought much about the idea of joy. It seemed to be something that might happen by chance, a victim of circumstances. Not a state I could elicit at will.
Here are some definitions we can use for joy:
“A feeling of great pleasure and happiness.”
“The emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.”
“A deep feeling or condition of happiness or contentment.”
“The emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires.”
I particularly like this more detailed definition from the American Psychology Association:
“…a feeling of extreme gladness, delight, or exultation of the spirit arising from a sense of well-being or satisfaction. The feeling of joy may take two forms: passive and active. Passive joy involves tranquility and a feeling of contentment with things as they are. Active joy involves a desire to share one’s feelings with others. It is associated with more engagement of the environment than is passive joy. The distinction between passive and active joy may be related to the intensity of the emotion, with active joy representing the more intense form. Both forms of joy are associated with an increase in energy and feelings of confidence and self-esteem.”
That phrase comes closer to capturing the physical component of my experience of joy.
When it came to exploring the idea of “joy triggers”, naturally, me being me, I overthought it. Have I experienced joy? Am I worthy of joy? Would others feel I deserved joy? Would others agree with my definition of joy? Ugh. My mind can really wear me out.
Once I was able to let go and get into the spirit of the exercise it led to feelings of gratitude and a greater awareness of the true abundance of joy in my life.
Here are some of my joy triggers. I would love it if you would share some of yours.
Writing
In full transparency, when I say writing is a joy trigger I mean completing a writing project. The writing process can be less than joyful, particularly due to my struggles with self-judgment and feelings of unworthiness. You can go deeper into my writing journey here.
A good example is my most recent children’s book, “Veronica and the Balloon Pet Bonanza.” This is my second book, part of a trilogy set in a shared universe called Patch Quilt Cove. The joy of getting these stories out into the world is beyond my ability to put into words. Ironic?
Songs
Being a musician and songwriter (you can check out my music here and here), music is a big part of my life. The right song can easily bring me to a state of joy, even transcendence.
The emotional impact can come from the music just as much as the lyrics. I’ve been known to get hooked by the power of the music and proceed to sing along with a song for years without actually paying any attention to the meaning of the lyrics.
Music is such a blessing.
Movie Scenes
I love movies. Of course, entire movies can be a trigger, but there are specific scenes that I often play over and over.
This may seem counter-intuitive, but a particularly creative, well-choreographed, and shot, fight scene makes me joyful. One of my best movie-going memories was seeing Matrix: Reloaded by myself on Father’s Day. I sat there with a silly, joy-filled grin pasted across my face for the entire thing. Here’s one of the best fight scenes from that movie. Totally over the top and unrealistic, but creative, fun, and beautifully shot.
Other scenes, where characters are standing strong in an overwhelming situation, also bring joy (exultation). I have watched this scene over and over again and still get chills.
Lightning Bugs/Fireflies
It was not until later in my life that I realized how joyful I became at the appearance of lightning bugs. I have literally turned my back on fireworks to look at lightning bugs.
I will neither confirm nor deny rumors that I have a special dance for when I see lightning bugs.
For those who have never experienced lightning bugs, here’s a video. But, it’s far from the simple beauty of the real thing.
Mountains
If I have to choose between the ocean and the mountains it’s not even a contest; I choose mountains every time. I have felt such exulted, divine joy in the presence of mountains.
They don’t have to be particularly large or majestic. Saddle Mountain outside Tonopah, Arizona, is a great example. I’m not even sure how it qualifies as a mountain. But, I’ve had a mystical experience just from being there. Even the memory of that connection can be overwhelming at times.
There was an intimacy to the joy that I still do not understand. But, I don’t have to understand everything I experience. Sometimes the understanding comes (much) later. Or not at all.
Maybe the joy itself was all the understanding I needed.
My Wife’s Touch
I am blessed to have married my best friend. We are comfortable being expressive with our feelings toward each other. Hugs and I-love-yous are an everyday occurrence, for which I am deeply grateful.
But, there is a moment of deep joy I experience when she puts her hand on my cheek. There is solace in that touch. Maybe even more importantly, there is loving acceptance. It feels like the touch of God.
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Such an interesting balance of questioning and trust comes to me from contemplating these (and other) triggers. But, if looked at through the lens of what I would call my broken masculinity, this all can sound so cliche and “woo woo”.
I don’t know how to describe how unlike that I was for the first 50 years of my life. Then I was broken open.
I sought out the breaking, bringing myself to the right time, place, and circumstances. I saw my crust being broken, quite literally. I have not been the same since.
There is more joy. And the joy continues to grow.
I would love to hear about your joy triggers. What brings you joy?
