10 Ways to Master Gratefulness
“The root of joy is gratefulness.” — David Steindl-Rast
There is no doubt in my mind that personal happiness is directly correlated to gratefulness. There’s not just a correlation, I’m convinced it’s the driving force of true happiness. Becoming thankful doesn’t just make you a happier person, it literally boosts your immune system, lowers blood pressure, decreases depression, improves your love life, and gives you more patience in enduring times.
I’m sure you’re already on the bandwagon of gratefulness, or you’d be easy to convince, but gratefulness is elusive. If you interviewed 100 people, I’m willing to bet at least 90 of them wished they were more grateful. Are you one of those? I am and always will be. It’s not that we don’t want to be grateful, it’s that we don’t know how. Here are 10 ways to master gratefulness. Each of these requires action, but I’ve tailored them for the average working person who isn’t a spiritual guru. In other words, there is no excuse for not being able to accomplish these, and by doing these it comes with a guarantee that you will feel more grateful and happy in your life.
1. Keep a Gratefulness Journal
For 15 minutes every day, ideally before bed, write in a journal. If you can’t do it every night, do it once a week. Write down three things that happened, or people in your life, that you are grateful for. If you’re someone who likes schedules, add it to your calendar. Do it with a friend. Be accountable.
Bonus Gratitude: Try going a step further in expressing your gratitude toward others. Your energy will spark more joy in other’s lives.
- Once a week. Call someone, take someone to lunch or dinner, and tell them how much their kindness or relationship has meant to you.
- Once a month. Write a letter thanking someone whose generosity has made a difference in your life. Sending it by email or postal mail is okay, but hand-delivery is even better.
Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, led by psychology professor Nancy Digdon. In the study, writing in a gratitude journal for 15 minutes every evening helped students worry less at bedtime and sleep longer and better afterward.
2. Prayer and Meditation
Growing up, I never prayed or practiced meditation. It just wasn’t something my parents engrained in me. It wasn’t until about two years ago I started these practices. Prayer and meditation are the most awkward and difficult things to do at first but become natural with practice. If prayer is man’s ability to ask for help and say thank you, meditation is our higher power’s way of giving answers and saying “you’re welcome”.
- Prayer: Every morning and evening, or while you’re driving or walking, speak out loud and ask God for help. I think science has proven God won’t talk back, but the practice is food for your soul. I start by expressing gratitude, asking for health and happiness for my friends and family, and courage for me to become a better, stronger person. Focus on praying for others, not yourself.
- Meditation… for beginners: If you’re just getting started, don’t get carried away with a 15, 20 or 60 minutes meditation. Try 30 seconds, 1 or 5 minutes. Simply close your eyes, breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth. Focus your attention on your breath, and when your mind wanders, which it will, bring it back to your breath. Simple.
3. The ABC’s of Gratefulness
I believe Dan Harris, author or 10% Happier, coined this idea which I heard him say on a podcast. The practice is simple and soothing, and a great thing to do when you’re tossing and turning in bed. As you go to sleep, go through the alphabet and say one thing for each letter that you’re grateful for. It can be something or someone big and powerful, or something as simple and stupid as the coffee you had in the morning. I especially enjoy the little ones because it reminds us how important and overlooked the little things are.
- A — Thank you for Alex, my husband, who loves and care for me.
- B — Thank you for my Brothers, always there to support me.
- C — Thank you for my Car, getting me from point A to point B.
- Z — I’d be shocked if you make it to Z before falling asleep 😴
4. Social Media Detox
Social media is good for staying up to date with people you loosely care about, but otherwise, it is the biggest detractor from gratitude and happiness. It’s only natural to look at what everyone else is doing and draw comparisons to your life and why you don’t have the smoking hot model or fancy cars or energy to travel the world and do speaking engagements.
- Related Reading: In Life After Social Media, I explain how a social media detox has helped me find more happiness and patience in my life.
5. Volunteer
The simple act of going out and helping others will inspire and motivate you to become more grateful. VolunteerMatch is a great place to start finding volunteer opportunities in your area. The best thing about VolunteerMatch is they find opportunities that are right for you. If you don’t feel comfortable going to assisted living facilities, homeless shelters, or underprivileged neighborhoods, VM will find opportunities that suit your skills. Volunteer as a photographer, help at a music/film festival or teach someone to use their voice through writing. It’s easy to get complacent with volunteering, so, I repeat, add it to your calendar as a recurring event and get out there.
The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. — Mahatma Gandhi
6. Clean Your House
Spring is almost over, and if you haven’t done your spring cleaning yet, this is a great way to refresh your life and “Spark Joy” as Marie Kondo explains. While cleaning, try and show gratitude for the small things in your little world that have added value and shelter. You may stumble across some old memories that will surely make you look back, reflect and think about who you are and how far you’ve come. Coming home to clean house gives you fulfillment, pride, and appreciation for the things you have.
- If cleaning your house seems daunting, start by making your bed.
- Admiral William H. McRaven explains how powerful this simple act by in The University of Texas at Austin 2014 Commencement Address
7. Donate Clothes and Toys
Now that your house is clean, donate all your old clothes, toys, knick-knacks and trinkets to someone else. Goodwill, Salvation Arm, and Out of the Closet are great organizations that make it easy to donate your items so they can find them a new home. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
8. Find a Creative Outlet
I find that getting creative is truly a remarkable way to express yourself and find happiness. Sometimes weeks will go by where I’m so focused on work or life that I forget to be creative. That’s why I’m writing this article or designing a logo for a client even though it’s not in my job description. Finding a creative outlet can help fill a void and give you a break from anxiety or stress since you’re focused on your creation. This activity can also lower blood pressure, the stress hormone cortisol and body mass index.
- Try writing a poem or song. Find an instrumental on Spotify and lay down some words. It’s not for the world, it’s just for fun.
- Draw or paint: You don’t need to be the next Picasso. Go to a Paint & Sip where you can paint and drink one. Do it often.
9. Teach Someone Something
Whatever it is you specialize in or know is valuable. As simple as working a cash register or managing a business, your knowledge is a powerful inventory and someone else out there needs that insight. Find a way to share your knowledge, for it’s the only thing you can give without losing anything.
- There are plenty of volunteer opportunities to teach on VolunteerMatch
- More formally, you can become a volunteer teacher with Zippia
10. Get Outside
Mother nature is a wonderful thing. From ocean swells to skyscraping mountains to profound canyons, getting outside is the best way to connect with nature in an effort to realize how little your problems really are.
