Journal of Personal Discovery — Part 3

Understanding where it all began

For those who are just starting to follow this series, welcome and I hope that you take a moment to look back at Parts 1 and 2 in my stories. You can find them easily under my name. While you are able to pick this up in this part, I think it would be good to go back and look at the two foundational elements previously discussed.

We all have a beginning and we all will have an end. What we have discovered about ourselves actually started before we were created. You see we were all created and born into a certain culture, situation and family dynamic. We will all differ in that way. It is important to understand what you were born into and how that has affected your life. Sometimes things aren’t what they seem.

As children, lots is hidden from us and even as we grow older, and mature, things may not be disclosed to us. It is worth speaking with your parents and family, those who were close to you when you were younger, to get a more “honest” and “realistic” view.

Whether you are conscious of things or not, they do affect who you have become. They “rub off on you” in some way. How much they have rubbed off on you, will depend on how much it has affected your life. It is true that those who experience alcohol dependent parents have more of a tendency to have a dependent nature. The same could be said in terms of drugs. These cycles can be hard to break. If you experience violence as a child in your family home, it will affect you. I believe the same can be said for how the family deals with racism, sexism, etc. It doesn’t mean that you will become what you have experienced but it does impact on who you are.

So start to understand those early years, in order to understand yourself. Understand how you were loved, maybe not loved, how you were nurtured. This is not to blame your parents or your family for these things. We are just seeking to understand so we can build on this and become “better” people. Don’t just look to understand what you perceive as bad, seek and understand the love you had, the support you had, the joy that was shared with you. This step will allow you to become free, to grow.

Take a page for each of the main themes you have highlighted from your earlier reflections. If you are using a paper journal, why not start writing these at the back of the book. A page on each theme will allow you to record what you find about each of them from your childhood.

To recap, we have entered a phase of reflection and have discovered so much about ourselves. We have looked for common themes and highlighted them in our journal. We are now seeking to understand where some of those feelings, reactions and emotions stem from. We have now understood more about our early childhood and how we were brought up, the environment we were in, the love we had or the lack of love. Understanding is our key to growing as a person.

Will some of this discovery be upsetting? I am afraid so, as you may find out more about your early years than you imagined. What may have seemed a good and stable childhood, may not be the reality. It is the truth we are seeking though. The truth will set you free.

Do remember to give yourself time to reflect and most importantly to love yourself.