HUMOR
Jolly Dog’s Golden Squid
Doggerel
Dog was keen to sail the high seas, to experience the fresh salty breeze.
He’d had a lifelong hankering, a dream of up-anchoring from solid ground to sail, horizon-bound.
At sea he would clear his mind, his inner self he’d find. (He knew it was in there somewhere.) He was certain that once he was there, he would thrive in the briny air.
But, first, the pirate board he had to please. He had all the necessary fees, he had the perfect hat and a parrot to sit on that.
He was all ready to wow the crew when his bird a hissy fit threw.
Parrot, whose name is Fred, reckoned his doctor had said he’d soon be dead and entombed in a burial vault, if he went anywhere near salt, his blood pressure being so high. So, Dog said goodbye to his dreams of skirmishes and gold, to living on the ocean’s wave til he grew old, and cold.
So that his pal could live longer, so Fred could be happy and stronger, Dog stayed home and quashed the notion of adventuring across the blue, blue ocean.
But the lure of sea air caused Dog to hunger, and he wasn’t getting any younger, so he became a fervent fishmonger instead.
His fish shop rapidly became famed for its maritime theme. It was named: ‘Jolly Dog’s Golden Squid’. Swashbuckle was evident. Even amid the kippered herring, and the smoked mackerel, Jolly Dog played his role — nothing was too wackerel:
ship’s bells rung shanties sung sailor’s jigs rum swigs.
Through it all Jolly Dog wore his perfect hat and his parrot, Fred, sat on that. Lots of salty parties were held for me hearties.
Serving fish had never been such fun, and, in the long run, when the day was done, Jolly Dog was glad of Fred’s hypertension. (Pirate life didn’t even provide a pension.)
Why bother going to sea for your pleasure if you can stay home to find your treasure?
For prints of Jolly Dog and Fred, see:
