#MWC Space
Joining the Dots and Understanding the Space in Relationships
This is my story on S-P-A-C-E
People want space in life. They demand space and enjoy more of it.
My thought process tells me that there are two aspects to this phenomenon. One is physical, another is mental.
From a physical point of view, we want things like more leg space in the flight, big car parking at the shopping mall, ample grocery in the kitchen pantry, and so on. We also love to have big cars, spacious offices, and gigantic houses.
The same is the case with relationships. We want to make our own choices, enjoy peace of mind being solo, want to be independent… etc. We want to feel the breeze of openness, yet most of the time we depend on one or more people like parents, siblings, and life partners.
As teenagers, we don’t want anyone telling us where to go or what to do. This remains the fact even though we are financially and emotionally mostly dependent on our parents.
As adults, we want to make decisions ourselves. We want to do things our way. We demand privacy, independence, free space, and the list goes on and on. Yet, it is not entirely possible as we are just embarking on the journey and have to taste many sweet and bitter realities of life. So, we are still in the learning phase.
A similar argumentation holds true and can be talked about parents, siblings, friends… etc. Now, let me turn the dice and share my personal views on this.
As a child, I was very close to my parents. Still am. Won’t have it any other way. But it wasn’t the same with my only brother. He was different. He wanted space, he got it. By not letting me go near him. This way, I got farther from him and even closer to my parents. The pattern continued and stays the same to this day. Yet, no one has the capacity to overcome the distance that was created when I was a kid. Well, it may have been done unknowingly, but the damage was done and there seems no cure in sight. So, we have to live with it. Yet, I keep my fingers crossed for a tight hug from a brother whom I love much.
Talking about me and my family can’t be complete unless and until I talk about the love of my life, my little sister. In the early years after she was born, it used to be my uncle, aunt, and my elder brother mostly cuddling her. Then things changed a bit. We moved to another house and my brother went to the US for higher studies. Then it was only me and my sister doing stuff together. This naturally brought us closer.
So close that the thought of her going away after her marriage used to make me crazy. Years went by, and she ultimately got married, so did I. Then, I moved to another country on an international business assignment. Things progressed and we grew older and mature. Now, she is a proud mother and a Ph.D. candidate. We recently met and to me, she was the same girl that I once fell in love with.
Before I conclude this essay, I have to talk about one more thing that deeply impacts our personal liberty and space. It is our daily routine that keeps us engaged in the pursuit of our professional activity. As much as it is important for our survival and prosperity, we yearn to get rid of it. My personal story in this respect is no different.
I studied for eighteen years. Then remained busy in the corporate sector for another twenty. All those years, I counted every hour to be out of the vicious circle till it actually happened one day. Trust me, since that day, I have been counting every minute, every second to be back in the same state as before.
Life is ironic, isn’t it? It surprises us in every unexpected way.