Election 2020

Join Hufanity!

A Call to Those Undecided to Apply Reason at The Ballot Box

“Men who are governed by reason — that is, who seek what is useful to them in accordance with reason — desire for themselves nothing, which they do not also desire for the rest of mankind, and, consequently, are just, faithful, and honourable in their conduct.”

Baruch Spinoza

Let’s talk about prowess, purpose and propriety. All of these words start with ‘p’, so this story has to be good. Search your feelings, you know that you seek stories that don’t make real sense, but somehow manage to construct a compelling, comprehensible narrative. Seek no further, young media consumer. You’ve stumbled upon a soul fast approaching middle age, that’s ready to bare a truth.

This is possibly the most important thing I’ve ever written — a reason filled and humanistic appeal to convince my dad to vote against donald trump* in the 2020 election; I’d find it difficult to look at my father the same way if he does. In essence, I’d have to relearn how to see my dad as the invincible dragon-slaying pinnacle of masculinity that has come to define what it is to be a man in the world from my point of view.

I wrote the above words about a week ago with help of a few generous helpings of rum.

Let me be clear, I love my dad unconditionally. That will never change because of an orange fascist. When he wasn’t busy slaying dragons, he was toiling in the corporate rat race of modern banking — providing a comfortable suburban existence for me, me ma, and my weirdo sisters.

I don’t recall my dad ever encouraging me to apply reason, think humanistically, or honor the humanity in every person regardless of color, gender, sexual orientation, and the like, not explicitly anyway.

Rather, he laid a foundation upon which to build a more human centered worldview.

Upon this foundation a structure of liberal, humanistic and rational thought was constructed by a college education fed by the more liberal social sciences. Names like Dubois, Marx, Weber, Mills were the architects of that structure.

The edifice, now the permanent living quarters of my mind, is peopled with names like Vonnegut, Pinker, Wilkerson and Harari to name a few of the more recent inhabitants.

They speak harsh truths. They speak from the heart. They speak from the head. Most importantly they speak of humanity and, in a gross oversimplification, how we’re all in this together — black, brown, white, red, man, woman, gay, lesbian, republican, democrat, Gryffindor, Slytherin, iOS or Android user, etc.

This brings me to Baruch Spinoza’s quip above — first, let me clarify that I’m not an enlightenment scholar. I read Pinker’s Enlightenment Now and thought it was a pretty dope way to say “I’m a fan of humanity. I’m a ‘hufan’” if you’ll permit me. I’ve not read Spinoza. The quote… quoted above opens Pinker’s book.

Listen, if there’s one thing sorely lacking in the US today it’s humanistic, rational thought -

Where da “hufans” at***? Won’t you join “hufanity”?

The sentiments of “this side mine, that side yours”; “us vs. them”; “it is what it is”, and so on are our guiding principles. I’m writing this as a missive to my father to inform him that, no matter why you choose to vote for trump, you’re also voting for bigotry, cronyism, misogyny, callousness and tribalism, among many other unsavory characteristics.

Quoth Steven Pinker in Enlightenment Now: The Case for Reason, Science, Humanism and Progress (New York, 2018)

“21st century saw the rise of populist movements that blatantly repudiate the ideals of the Enlightenment. They are tribalist rather than cosmopolitan, authoritarian rather than democratic, contemptuous of experts rather than respectful of knowledge, and nostalgic for an idyllic past rather than hopeful for a better future.” (29)

I’m addressing you, Dad, and anyone else who says anything like “I support trump because of his economic policy on [insert country berated by trump]”. This sounds a lot like

“I only buy Hustler for the articles”.***

Dad, you have never advocated those things. You and I have had many robust conversations about the principles espoused by the Enlightenment.

Is Joe Biden enlightened? Maybe not. But he is humble. He offered to resign as chairman of the Senate judiciary committee for the plagiarism debacle in ‘88.

What’s more, for the tumult of the confirmation of Clarence Thomas to the supreme court, “Biden has publicly apologized to [Anita] Hill, and said in March at the Biden Courage Awards he regrets he “couldn’t come up with a way to get (Hill) the kind of hearing she deserved.””

He even apologized to Barack Obama for endorsing same sex marriage before Obama did.

I don’t think trump has ever genuinely apologized — plenty of “sorrybuts” and “sorrythatyous”.

Seems to me, being genuinely apologetic and authentically remorseful are like saying “I see the humanity in you, and I’m a big fan of that, I’m a big hufan”.

To be a “hufan” is to be “just, faithful, and honourable in… conduct.”

I wish I could say that Joe Biden could cure those infected with COVID by the hundreds, and “consume terrorists with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse”

His political feats show his “hufanity”. These are mostly policies and actions that a liberal, a “hufan”, and/or a “woketard^” would smile about –

his actions demonstrate that he has the character and the juevos to stand up to institutional racism. Such as —

• Lambasting then secretary of state George Schultz about the Reagan administration policy (lack of policy, really) about and helped to pass the Anti-Apartheid Act of 1986, setting harsh sanctions on South Africa.
• Biden made the effrontery speeches mentioned previously during his presidential bid in 1988. A venture he scrapped to focus efforts on blocking the confirmation of conservative justice Richard Bork to the Supreme Court. That spot was later filled by the noted swing justice Anthony Kennedy. Kennedy would go on to write majority decisions striking down a law that prohibited laws from being made to protect homosexuals^^ (Romer, Governor of Colorado v. Evans) and upholding Roe v. Wade and a woman’s right to choose (Planned Parenthood of Southeastern Pennsylvania v. Casey)
• ^^In 1991, he spoke out about the ethnic cleansing in Yugoslavia advocating “that President Bush should press the United Nations to lift its arms embargo on Bosnia — while maintaining it on Serbia — thus making the embargo punish the aggressor, not the victim.”
• The outcome of the intervention in the former Yugoslavia is hotly debated. Again, Biden showed “hufanity” by offering condolescences for civilian casualties. This was over 20 years after his involvement. Do you know what he could have said? What most would’ve said? Nothing. Fact is, he did what he felt was right in both instances.

Let me close by asking a few questions. You see, the Declaration of Independence is considered one of the crowning achievements of the Enlightenment. Where was the DoI written? And Tommy Jefferson, the guy who wrote it — where’s he from? This orange guy and his cronies (doesn’t Stephen Miller look like that baby shaped growth that comes out of that guy’s stomach in Total Recall?) don’t stand for that document or the righteous principles it established, do they? Where will will be 10 years from now? 100 years from now?

Think about what Wilkerson said in Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents

“where would we be as a species had the millions of targets of these caste systems been permitted to live out their dreams? Or live at all? Where would the planet be if the putative beneficiaries been freed of the dilutions that imprisoned them too?…”

*Not capitalizing his name is my way of suggesting that donald is not worthy of conventions that distinguish humans from, say, toasters, a jar of pickle juice or an aglet.

**Merriam-Webster forgive me for I have sinned. I ended a sentence with a preposition. In penance, I will write “Da ‘hufans’ are before the ‘a’ and ‘t’” 1,000 times.

***This is not to suggest that my father buys dirty magazines, or that he prefers the racism and misogyny. I just would like for him and all his other supporters to be aware that those travesties are part of the trump package.

^That’s right, in an online news forum a trumpster called me a “woketard”. I guess it was supposed to be an insult, but I’ve since worn it like a badge of pride.

^^To clarify — to keep your sister and the ravenous coodies she harbors at bay, you might erect a sign such like “no girls allowed”. Then your dad says “you gotta do what you gotta do.” Only to have your mom override the whole thing — “you can’t make rules that establish rules about other people who are different from you”

Pinker, Steven. Enlightenment Now: the Case for Reason, Science, Humanism and Progress. Penguin Books, 2019.

Wilkerson, Isabel. Caste: the Origins of Our Discontents. Random House, 2020.