Life Lessons

Job Change: Never Again Will I Accept a Job That I Know I Dislike

Why we should never accept a job not aligned with our goals

There were only two instances in my life when I took up a job that I did not like. It was my first job. But the second instance crushed my mental and physical being. I went through a burnout I did not know.

The second instance was when I wanted to migrate to Melbourne and I got the job from India itself. It was a step down for me from my existing role and with an organization that I never wanted to work with. But, I wanted to have a regular paycheck while I understand the new city. Here are a few lessons I learnt.

It affects the relationships we make

Each new job involves meeting new people and learning new ways of working. In both jobs, I was dealing with diverse people. People were from different social strata in my job. In the second job, it was a matrix of stakeholders with different goals, motivations, and background.

I had the inner conflict of being in a job that did not align with myself. My entire focus on both these jobs was to keep the wheels churning. I always felt the pressure. I felt I was making more mistakes than I should be. This led to me being defensive and thus not open to ideas other people had. I was so consumed with myself that I couldn’t see any other people around me. I lost the opportunity to make a few meaningful relationships.

Mistakes feel like the end of the world

Mistakes always felt bigger than they were. In my first job, I was making at least one every two days. Part of it was that I did not receive any training on the job. But in my idealistic mind, the job expected me to not make mistakes. I still resolved to ensure that I do not repeat the same mistake. A bit of humor and a supporting team helped me overcome it.

I had enough experience when I took the second job that I didn’t like. Most times, I was good enough to fix it before the dam broke. But every fix that I had to make made me more listless towards the job. I would blame my role for my mistakes. I became desensitized about my mistakes and only focused on fixing rather than doing it right.

You cannot cherish the wins

I cherished no wins during those two jobs. In my first job, people understood I made mistakes and supported me. I was good at interacting with customers. I also learned fast and took more responsibilities.

Once a customer got our desk phone numbers and started spewing expletives. As field engineers, we only interact with customer once front desk asks us to investigate. It was a service assurance manager’s (SAM) job. So, once the customer stopped to get a breath, I told him all his energy was better spent at calling SAM. Talking to customers terrified SAM. The customer I talked with thanked me and went on spewing the SAM with much better expletives. I was smiling when SAM called me to tell me the customer was angry.

The above scenario turned out well for the customer without affecting my mental balance. It affected the manager who took the customer’s call. This was a win for me as I made sure we followed the process and thus reducing ad hoc tickets for our team.

In the second job, I had created a streamlined process and technical frameworks that made scaling easy. I had introduced automation that made it easy for data collection. I had built a team with processes and automation all on my own.

I never considered them as wins while on the job and always felt I was not doing enough.

It affects your health and people around you

The second job crushed me. I used to get calls on weekends to attend meetings. I had gained weight and was always on the edge. My colleagues found me difficult to work with. I had a burnout.

I was lucky that they booted me out when they did. Otherwise, I would have lost all my health and some part of my life. Not only does an unlikable job affect your physical and mental well-being, but also it affects the people in your life.

Things I would do in an unhappy job

None of us wants to be in a job that we don’t like. But sometimes, we take a job that we don’t like. Or, we end up in a job that is sucking away our life. It is the tune that life plays for us to dance on. These are some things that past mistakes taught me.

Do not accept the job in the first place

I convinced myself with varieties of reasons to accept the job. It all worked in the beginning. But we can only suppress the inner conflict for a time. My first job lasted for 5 months. I knew I was in the wrong place and I changed it.

The second job lasted 16 months. I forgot about the conflict during this time and it blew up. I was lucky that they let me go.

Unless the circumstances are dire, it is not a good idea to accept the job that we dislike.

Get a good dose of endorphins every day

Getting your heartbeat up in the morning will do a world of good in improving the day. I started running or doing 5–10 minutes of pushups. It would clear my mind and I would cruise at least the first few hours of the day.

Be grateful

It is very difficult to be grateful during a tough job. But we need to learn to be grateful for our own sake. Regardless of the situation, we can be grateful for at least three things:

• The job helps us pay our bills
• Our family and friends are always there for us. We can talk to them about the challenges we are facing.
• In the current world of uncertainty, having a job itself is a privilege. Understanding this and reflecting upon it would ease some of the pent-up frustrations.

Journal wins of the day

Journaling wins every day and helps us cherish the little wins that we are having . We may not know unless we reflect upon it. It also helps with gratitude. We may realize the support of our colleagues that helped in achieving some wins. We will learn to be grateful to them and thus improve our own well-being.

Acknowledge the conflict

Journaling reflections surfaces the deep-rooted conflicts from our subconsciousness. I forgot that there was an inherent conflict in my second job. I did not identify the core problem for a long time. Realizing and understanding that we conflict compels us to bring in the change. But we don’t know we are living in conflict unless we are doing reflections through journaling.

Paddle frantically like a duck under the surface to find a matching job

Once we know we conflict, we need to do everything to get the job we like as soon as possible. The above things will ease the feeling, but they will not resolve core conflict. We can change jobs in a variety of ways. Key options are below.

• Talking to our managers. Yeah, sometimes, the manager can help you with your conflicts. We may get a job within the same organization but with a different team.
• We have to skill up. We will have to learn something new to be eligible for the job that we want. In the current world, the resources are all there. Our desire is the limit.
• Sometimes knowing the right person at the right time will help us get the job you want. Once I got a job because my wife’s colleague referred me. All my connections could not help. So opportunities arrive from someone we know through someone else. The more people we know, the easier it is to get a new job.

Conclusion

On a personal front, would I accept another job not aligning with my goals? No. I have burnt myself twice and I will not do it third time.

We all take wrong decisions in our lives. It is part of who we are. But, we are also the ones to fix it. Journaling, reflection, gratitude, exercise help us live a life filled with introspection and in alignment with whom we are.