Authenticity/Relationships/Life
6 Plain and Simple Reasons Why I Choose to be “Not Fancy”
Maintaining subjective ideals of perfection is exhausting.
According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, there are several definitions of the word “fancy,” including the following:
“an image or representation of something formed in the mind” “imagination, especially of a capricious or delusive sort” “to believe mistakenly or without evidence” “devotees of some particular art, practice, or amusement” And if you happen to be an animal or plant: “ bred especially for bizarre or ornamental qualities that lack practical utility”
It’s quite a list — and a lot to consider and digest. Which is why I’m not fancy.
Fortunately, I learned long ago what direction my personal preference leaned.
And it definitely wasn’t toward the fancy end of the spectrum.
While an easy choice to consider, the decision wasn’t made lightly. Societal approval, peer pressure, and the lure of being one of the chosen few — particularly those who receive glitzy party invitations — typically overwhelmed logic and reason.
Still, I’m defending my choice to be “not fancy.”
In fact, I find this simpler life option to be both telling and amusing. And I’m comfortable letting others know my style — without apology or the need to rationalize.
My motivation began a few years back. Whenever something, or someone, fell under the category of “fancy,” a mental red flag popped up in my brain — a signal suggesting the need to meet other’s expectations of propriety, appearance, or behavior. I’d even go so far as to suggest the word “fancy” created a dividing line between society’s select few, and the rest of us.
Rather than compromise my own hard-earned values and hand-picked wardrobe by falling in line behind those who prefer wearing black tuxedos, sequin-laced dresses, and faux jewel tiaras, I’m content to be “not fancy.”
Here are a few of my personal reasons for living happily outside the gates of Fancy-Land:
- Glittery, sparkly, shiny objects have no effect on my emotions — or self-worth. In truth, all those splintered shards of light piercing my eyes make me want to turn my head — in the opposite direction.
- I realized how much effort, time, and energy it would take to always be in a state of “show-off ready.” Spending — wasting — precious resources to maintain subjective ideals of perfection seemed like a senseless luxury. Not having to “measure up” has eliminated all that social pressure of being “ready to shine” on command. Because the spotlight finds a fancy girl quicker than a billionaire in a fashion show dressing room. And truthfully, I’m much more comfy in a dimly lit environment.
- My budget is neither strict nor limited— it’s more like reasonably manageable. After covering expenses for necessities and a few general comforts of life, the thought of dedicating any remaining dollars on socially trending spit-and-shine raises my anxiety level to extreme heights. I decided long ago that exchanging sleepless nights and useless hand-wringing over an empty checkbook for a few strands of fancy tinsel was a poor trade. Personally, I achieve much better returns by investing my discretionary funds in an IPO — or a cozy down comforter.
- Time is limited. And the idea of squandering it by standing in front of a mirror perfecting make-up and hair while honing a variety of spontaneous yet natural expressions seemed like a huge dose of unnecessary vanity. Attempting to emulate a pretentious, hollow image of beauty can become a never-ending loop of not-good-enough. Rather than play along and follow the leader behind a line of socially-elite wanna-be’s, I’ve decided to use my few moments of spare time to research off-grid solar options — or comb the cat.
- Personally, I have a tough time recalling an interesting, intellectual, or stimulating conversation with any fancy folk. While dedicating their lives to learning proper posture, socially appropriate party banter, and practicing empty-eyed smiles may be just the ticket for some, I’d rather be in the company of friends who know my first and last name, the details of my most embarrassing moments (and wouldn’t tell a soul), and will gladly cook me dinner any time — taking into account my allergy to peanuts.
My not fancy take-away:
Knowing I have the ability — and power — to achieve my goals by keeping their priority front and center pushes all those outside distractions into the background. More important, I’m living my life with the assurance I’ll still like myself when I wake up tomorrow.
Life lessons — and the values they teach us — come from experience, mistakes, and confidence in our own decisions. While others may choose to pursue the empty rewards of superficial fame and glory, they have no business intruding on my dreams.
© 2020 Jill Reid. All Rights Reserved.
Jill Reid is the author of Real Life and Discover Your Personal Truth.
Jill Reid is the founder of Pathway to Personal Growth and author of Real Life and Discover Your Personal Truth. Her books and articles explore life, happiness, relationships, health, and personal success strategies.
