3 Tips to Achieve the Best Outcome, No Matter What Lands in Your Lap

Do you have a back-up plan when life throws you a curve?

Our lives are a sum total of the choices we have made. — Wayne Dyer

Do you have a contingency plan for life? Should you?

For many of us, change happens on a daily basis

And for the most part, we’ve become accustomed to relying on our automatic response system taking over — trusting we’ll make the right decisions and choices with in-the-moment clarity and on-demand precision.

But when we find ourselves facing situations over which we have no control — and discover our personal crystal ball doesn’t have the power to determine an outcome with any degree of accuracy — we can easily end up in an overwhelming state of distress and worry.

That’s when conventional advice recommends deferring to Plan B — those predetermined guidelines, options, and people we can turn to when something in our life delivers significant and unwanted change, without notice.

The real value in creating a Plan B?

Believing we’re mentally, emotionally, and physically ready for whatever life throws our way gives us a sense of confidence, because we tell ourselves we’re prepared — we can handle it.

Until something — or someone — comes along with a problem, issue, or dilemma we hadn’t anticipated.

And that’s when our contingency plan becomes impractical, because we couldn’t foresee the gravity, seriousness, scope, or scale of what’s suddenly landed in our laps. And instead of implementing our carefully crafted Plan B, we’re overwhelmed with stress and anxiety — forcing us to realize we weren’t as prepared as we’d hoped.

Our lives are typically too complex

We’re bombarded by too many influences affecting our perception and actions to make a contingency strategy effective for every scenario.

So how do we handle the unwelcome intrusions and negative events of life in such a way that we avoid being overwhelmed by the resulting consequences and repercussions?

Instead of relying on a back-up plan, I’ve found a contingency process is more useful in taking corrective action and making decisions that allow me to move forward. Here are three suggestions that can be helpful in working through the fallout from an unwanted change or adverse event:

1. Insulate yourself from the drama

Admittedly, this can be difficult — especially when it seems the situation is affecting every aspect of your life. But when it’s time for damage control and you need to put together a plan to offset or correct a problem, getting some emotional distance can be extremely effective.

One technique is to use an adaptation of “perceptual positioning.” The strategy is explained in an article on NLP Techniques as a form of modelling that allows us to step into somebody else’s shoes, and see what they see, hear what they hear, and feel what they feel.

In this situation, try imagining yourself as a life-coach, and one of your clients has come to you with a problem. After telling you their story, they end with a question, “What should I do?”

Stepping back and gaining perspective helps remove the emotional intensity that often accompanies sudden and unexpected change. Simply ask yourself what advice you would offer if a client were experiencing the same problem and needed your guidance.

2. Determine what needs to be done immediately

These are actions that stop the on-going damage or prevent the situation from becoming worse. This might be a phone call to find out more details or to explain your side of the story. Always approach these kinds of conversations with the additional goal of determining what you can do to correct the issue or lessen its impact.

Taking the first step — even a small one — starts the process of recovery, and can bring a sense of re-establishing a degree of personal control.

3. If you need help, ask for it

In an article by Lisa Ferentz in Psychology Today, she explains that when we’re faced with feelings or experiences that are challenging, frightening, or overwhelming, asking for help means you care enough about yourself to increase the likelihood that things will work out in your favor by getting the support you deserve.

While many of us may feel vulnerable or personally uncomfortable about reaching out, it’s important to put our reluctance aside and ask for help from family, friends, or colleagues.

If there are a number of simple or generic tasks that need to be addressed, decide which individual is best suited for the job and — after confirming their availability — describe exactly what needs to be done. Friends who can perform simple errands, make phone calls, or handle other non-personal tasks can help relieve the pressure of feeling overwhelmed.

The key is to strive for the best and most useful outcome, no matter what happens or where you’re headed. Positivity is your strongest ally, and will carry you on its back through difficult times. And occasionally, it walks hand-in-hand with humor and optimism.

To me, that’s the trifecta of living a fulfilling life, knowing I can feel good about my direction and purpose when I close my eyes at night — regardless of what tomorrow may bring.

There can only be one solution to any problem: a change in attitude and in consciousness. — Gregg Braden

© 2020 Jill Reid. All Rights Reserved.

Jill Reid is the author of Real Life: We breathe, We sleep, We eat … And in-between, We Live

Jill Reid is the founder of Pathway to Personal Growth and author of Real Life . Her books and articles explore life, happiness, self-improvement, health, productivity, relationships, and personal success strategies.