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Jason’s Bouncin’ and Behavin’ Grade School Challenge

Let’s Write About Our Childhood Memories That Stood Out

I was remembering a few humorous things about my grade school years today. It made me smile at some of the funny, sometimes crazy memories I had. It made me come up with a fun little writing challenge.

Think about any memories from grade school age or younger that pop into your head. Write two or three paragraphs about each one. Good, bad, interesting, whatever you want. Just write about the first handful of random memories you can think of.

These are a number of mine, in no particular order. Hope you find them entertaining. &:^)

Getting Brained By a Rock in First Grade

This was one of the earlier memories and a sucky one. Well, in a way. I was just sitting in the sandbox at recess, digging around, constructing whatever I could in 15 minutes, and suddenly, a THUD against the back of my head.

Details were sketchy at best after being concussed by what felt like a large rock. I’d like to think I fell face first, ever so slowly, like in cartoons. But likely, I probably bawled like a baby. That shit hurt. I don’t remember telling a teacher or going to the office.

What I DO remember is telling my dad about it when I got home. And him showing up on the playground, hunting for the kid that threw the rock. This was 1980, no checking in with the office, just a pissed-off 30-year-old Italian man interrogating kids. I love that he did that.

Being Told That I Had Bouncin’ and Behavin’ Hair

This is hilarious and also happened in first grade. And the origin story of our publication’s name, Bouncin’ and Behavin’ Blogs. I had similar hair back in first grade. A bit curly and out of control.

We used to do this thing each week where our teacher would bring out a poster board with one of the kids’ names on it. Then everyone would say something nice about that kid and the teacher would write them down.

When it was finally my week, the only thing I remember from my poster board was that somebody said, “Jason P. has BOUNCIN’ AND BEHAVIN’ HAIR!” Which was a popular Pert commercial at the time. I still find that hilarious enough to name our publications after that memory.

Dumping My First Ever Girlfriend and Then Waiting 15 Years For My Next One

Definitely a strategic blunder for young Jason. Had I known the struggle it would have been to get a girl to let me hold her hand, I’d have never let the deal go down. Definitely a tough lesson about peer pressure at a very early age.

For some reason, the cutest girl in my class, Christina, actually liked me. Perhaps it was my Bouncin’ and Behavin’ hair. Not sure, but I remember playing with her at recess and holding her hand. For a brief period of time, anyway.

After three or four recesses, one of my dumb friends found it funny to yell, “HEY! Jason P. has a GIRLFRIEND!” Well, that was it. Give me my hand back, Christina.

Mark Thomas didn’t find it acceptable that I had a girlfriend. I wasn’t cool enough to be different. And that was that. The start of a 15-year romance drought. Served me right. I hope Christina eventually recovered.

My Mother Breaking Down an Apartment Door to Recover Our Stolen Toy

This was the coolest thing I think I’ve ever seen my mother do, in a physical, brute-force kind of way. I don’t know if she watched a lot of Dukes of Hazzard, Fall Guy, or Charlie’s Angels with us, but she was out for vengeance that day.

We had this kid who lived in our apartment complex named Richie. God, that kid was a douche. My brother’s age, I think. So two years or so younger than me.

He got a hold of my brother’s action figure, took it with him, and ran into his apartment. Locked himself in like a little twat and taunted us from the living room window, waving the toy at us.

We ran off and told our mother. I think she had heard what a little prick this kid was. She marched right over and pounded on their door until his teenage sister opened it a crack.

That was all my mother needed. Like a scene out of C.O.P.S. she rammed her way in and grabbed our toy back from that little shit. I still can’t think of anything I’ve seen her do more gangster than that.

My Parents Buying Us an Atari 2600

I remember this memory ever so clearly from 5th grade. We were shopping somewhere with our parents in Bakersfield, CA. It may have been Vons. I can’t remember if it was planned out or what, but suddenly, my folks were about to buy our first gaming console.

We couldn’t believe it! Finally, we’d get what all of our friends had already gotten a year or two prior. I remember them giving us a choice between the already popular Atari 2600 model or the more advanced, newer Atari 5200. The kicker was that the 5200 would take a week to come in, whereas we could walk out with the 2600 and Pac-Man right away.

We looked at each other for about 3 seconds, then at my parents, and said:

“WE’ll TAKE THE 2600!”

Talk about instant gratification. The cherry on the cake though was the console didn’t work when we got home, so my poor mother drove across town in the triple-digit heat to get us one that worked. Damn, she was good to us. We loved that Atari.

Finding Nudie Magazines for the First Time Amongst a Bunch of Junk Outside

This one happened during a visit to my dad’s cousin, sometime around the mid-80s. I think this was in Bend, Oregon. The adults were inside visiting, so my dad’s cousin Butchie told us about a place nearby where we could play around some large rocks and whatnot. We ran off to check it out.

I recall it being kind of a mess. I opened an unopened beer can halfway buried in the dirt and got sprayed all over when it exploded all over me. Damn, that stunk. There was a car door there for some crazy reason. Maybe he sent us to play in the dump.

Either I or my brother found pages to some sort of nudie mag. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I was only 11 or 12 years old, but I remember being fascinated by it.

It wasn’t overly dirty like a real porno mag, but it was dirty enough. My dad yelling for us snapped me out of the boob-induced haze I was in and we hid it and ran off, thus ending our introduction to the naked version of the opposite sex.

My Dad Tricking Me Into Thinking I Won $1000

Super mean. Made me cry. Still don’t want to talk about it. Too soon. I feel my pops still owes me a cool grand for that bullshit. I was in 3rd grade and a sensitive kid. I’m convinced to this day that my father enjoyed seeing me cry, sometimes.

For some reason, we had two different phone numbers back then and he was able to call from the phone in their bedroom to the main one in the kitchen. It rang and he yelled at me to answer it. I did and heard an Asian man’s voice on the other side.

“Ah, this Louie-Louie. You sound like nice boy. Me send you thousand dollars.”

Those exact words. I still remember them to this day. I thanked him and ran off to tell my parents. My dad asked if I gave him my address to send the check to. SHIT! Of course, I didn’t. I almost started crying on the spot. He told me, “Well, maybe he’ll call back.”

Five minutes later, Mr. Louie-Louie did indeed call back for my address. YES! I gave it to him and reported back to my folks in their room, I proudly told them I gave him our address and to watch for my check in the mail.

My Dad, in Louie-Louie’s voice, ”Ah, did he sound like this?”

I lost it. When you’re a third-grade kid and growing up somewhat poor, a thousand dollars sounded closer to a million dollars. I sobbed uncontrollably. I think back to things like this and realize that my dad was kind of a dick at times.

After listing these, I’m surprised I didn’t think of going to Disneyland, Six Flags Magic Mountain, Dodger games, and a California Angels game. It’s cool that smaller, more obscure memories came to me first.

So let’s hear some of yours. Anyone who writes an article about this challenge, please tag me in it, so I can read it. I’d love to check them out, this was a hell of a lot of fun to remember and write about. &:^)

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