James Corden: How To Be Nice Without Being A Pushover

Summary

James Corden demonstrates how to be genuinely nice without being perceived as a pushover by offering specific compliments, balancing praise with humor, and assertively responding to mean comments.

Abstract

James Corden, a successful late-night show host, has mastered the art of being kind without coming across as insincere or weak. He personalizes his compliments to make them feel more authentic, such as referencing a character's attire from a specific show. Corden also employs a "push and pull" technique, where he follows a generous compliment with a humorous, self-deprecating joke to ease any discomfort the compliment may cause. Additionally, he adeptly handles mean-spirited comments by cleverly turning the situation around, thereby maintaining control without resorting to aggression. These strategies highlight Corden's ability to navigate social interactions with grace and wit.

Opinions

Specific compliments are perceived as more genuine than generic ones.
Compliments should be balanced with humor to prevent discomfort and maintain humility.
Responding to mean comments with wit rather than aggression is a way to assert control and avoid being a pushover.
James Corden's approach to social interactions is seen as a model for being nice without compromising one's own standing.

1. Be specific with compliments

We all love compliments. But the same old compliments like “you look great today” can feel ingenuine. A quick way to make your compliments sound authentic is by being specific, finding something special that only that person has. For example, “You look great today! That dress is what Miriam wore in the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and she wore it again and again.”

2. push & pull

Do you feel a need to at least appear humble when someone compliments you? When James Corden compliments Emily Blunt in an interview about how she’s the greatest actress of all time, Emily enjoyed it but there was also tension — Emily felt a need to reject that compliment.

James: “Emily is one of the greatest actresses of all time. Genuinely I’ve been saying, ‘You got no idea.’ You know, if you go back and watch that My Summer of Love and things like this, they have phenomenal performances. The most thrilling thing watching the film is ‘Ah, there it is,’ and how everyone’s going to say it…

Emily made the kill-me sign because it started to feel like a little too much… Then James said:

“…and it will actually be annoying. And I’ll start saying, she’s a bitch.”

Emily laughed!

The tension was released with Jame’s joke at the end of a lavish compliment.

Push: compliment. Pull: poke fun.

3. How not to be a walkover by taking back control to mean comments

James was talking about his resemblance with Matt Damon. He was being funny.

However, Zack was mean by saying, “Matt Damon and fat Damon.”

Then James turned to Matt Damon and said, “I feel like I’m looking in a mirror and I feel like you don’t think so.”

Zack again said, “funhouse mirror or?”

Then James took back the control by making a joke about Zack’s age, “So pleased that you’re here on your fifth, oh no, on your fifty-fifth birthday!”

James Corden: How To Be Nice Without Being A Pushover

1. Be specific with compliments

2. push & pull

3. How not to be a walkover by taking back control to mean comments

The takeaways