Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

Abstract

the better. She’s given them all a chance and every single one of them disappeared in the end. Leaving her to pick up the pieces.When I failed to sit down to write this morning it was no big shock to me or her. I made all the right noises and I promised to write later even though I knew I was just lying to myself and that there wasn’t a cat in hell’s chance of that happening.It galls me to admit it but the Old Girl was right. Failure was inevitable.<h1 id="d654">Round 2: The Rise Of The Young Pretender</h1>When I chose to make more coffee and put a load of washing on instead of getting on with my writing task I could almost hear the old girl gloating. Until that is, the young pretender popped up.“Just hold on there you old fart,” she yelled. “I’m not done yet.”Well I was shocked to my core but I thought hang on, I’m not getting between these two. I’m just going to let them battle it out for a while. Although, I did indicate that I was firmly behind the Young Pretender and willing to support her to the best of my abilities. So I toddled off and grabbed an egg sandwich, I was just going to bite into it when I got the all clear from within to sit down and start to write once more. You could’ve knocked me down with a feather.I was so happy that the Young Pretender was on the move and that at last my life was going to change for the better.<h1 id="cd74">Round Three: Victory</h1>Alas my joy was short lived. The Old Girl was hot on her heels, she had experience and cunning on her side. I could hear her screeching in the background,“So you wanna be CEO do you? You think you can swan in here and run the place do ya? Well let’s see how you handle these because you’re gonna get plenty of them.”Wham! The first jab landed. It was a good one straight to my heart: A monster doubt was unleashed.Within a nano second of sitting down I could feel myself wavering, the Young Pretender stood firm and I was still in the game.Wham! Jab two. Right into the solar plexus: A monster excuse that is a huge part of my programming: I am a busy person. I’m too busy to make any proper progress.Ouch! That one hurt. The Young Pretender was beginning to weaken. Another nano second flashed by and in came jab three.Wham! Jab three. Right into my kidneys. It was a nasty blow, a real sneaky one straight into my weak spot: Lack of commitment. I’m the person who doesn’t follow through or commit 100% so I always have an excuse when I fail, even if I am in a programme that tells me exactly what to do!It was a savage blow and I could feel the Young Pretender buckling. I tried to hang on and type a few words but it was too late. The Old Girl could smell victory and nothing could stop her now.Boom! In came the right hook.“I can’t do this. I am a failure.”That was it. My ultimate fear had been unleashed. The Young Pretender was overwhelmed and was losing h

Options

er power. The Old Girl was too strong for her and I hit the deck hard. I was out for the count but was it game over for the Young Pretender?<h1 id="27d3">Round 3: Game Over?</h1>I was dazed and confused. I’d lost clarity and direction. I wasn’t sure I could get up again or if I would ever see the Young Pretender again. I only knew I felt icky and I didn’t know what to do with these feelings or how to save myself.I took myself out of the fight and put on a pot of coffee. I tried to rationalise an irrational emotional situation. I took a sip of the warm bitter coffee and mulled it over. I knew if I was ever going to change my life I needed to have a really uncomfortable conversation with the Old Girl. One I should have had a long time ago.I still felt a little groggy and I wasn’t sure it was going to work but I needed to try. So me and the old girl had a very uncomfortable heart to heart. I thanked her for looking after me and doing a great job till now. I acknowledged her concerns about the Young Pretender not being ready for the job and I agreed she wasn’t ready. I knew the Young Pretender was still a bit green but I thought she had potential and maybe just maybe if they worked together everything would work out fine. A perfect blend of old wisdom and new innovation.<h1 id="1af5">The sap is rising</h1>I thought I was getting somewhere and I could feel the Old Girl softening. It wasn’t easy for either of us and we both felt very emotional. There were tears. Tears of relief, tears of sadness and tears of joy. So many tears that I didn’t notice the rising sap of the Young Pretender. In the blink of an eye she had seized power and was firmly in control. Before I knew what was happening I was sitting down frantically tapping away. It didn’t last long.<h1 id="52a3">Rain stops play</h1>Ask any Wimbledon enthusiast and they will tell you there is nothing more frustrating than a heavy downpour that stops play. And so it was that no sooner had I started my writing exercise than I had to stop.I really did have to teach there was no escaping that. Now I really had run out of time.<h1 id="15c7">Game Set & Match</h1>The Old Girl gave me a knowing wink and smiled smugly. Whilst the Young Pretender looked like the cat who ate the cream as she basked in her victory.It troubled me that the Old Girl looked so smug, so I took a minute to stop and think.I looked back over the morning. I had to acknowledge that the Old Girl had played a good game. In fact now that I really, really thought about it, I had spent my morning caught up in a drama of my own making. I wasn’t calm and committed and focused on writing because I was too busy putting out fires, procrastinating, eating, drinking and watching the drama of my life unfold.The Young Pretender stopped in her tracks as the cream turned sour and a slow realisation dawned. She had just played a master and the master had won.Game Set & Match to the Old Girl.To be continued…</article></body>

Jab Jab Jab, Right Hook. How your Inner Demons Win The Fight.

Have you ever started a personal growth challenge thats supposed to change your life for the better and even though everything is laid out for you step by painful step, you still manage to stray of course and straight into disaster?

Something insignificant throws you off track. You can’t do what you are supposed to. Instead you run around like a headless chicken putting out small fires whilst your house is burning down. Everything else but the challenge suddenly seems super important and it’s game over before you even truly start it.

Your good intentions count for nothing because you lost once again.

Trust me, I hear you. I would be so successful if only I could just get out of my own way.

Recently I experienced the exact same situation as I’ve just described. I was following a coaching course by top Medium writer Ayodeji Awosika, all I had to do was set a minimum viable commitment of time and show up and write.

At first I thought I’d aim for 20minutes a day. On day three I realised that wasn’t going to work. I had been a little too ambitious and overestimated how many things I could do in a day. You see, I’m used to being busy. I’m used to having a million and one things to do. All of which make me super busy but not super productive.

I’m not used to deciding what is the major priority, what is going to have the most impact and move me forward. Yes, I’ve read the books, watched the videos and got the T-shirt but I’ve never succeeded in consistently putting things into practice. As a result I’ve struggled to develop new routines and habits that will support change for the long term and help me to create a new life.

I just keep planting the same shit over and over again. And you know what happens when you do that? The soil gets toxic and nothing good can grow.

I’ve discovered it’s really important to cultivate your garden, feed it, tend it, and rotate your crops. Which is why I decided it was time to change and that this time things would be different. However the Old Girl who’s my CEO had a different agenda.

Round 1: The Old Girl Wins

The Old Girl in charge of me is super strong and she has a lot of power. She’s been in charge for a long time and as she says she has got me this far. I may not like her methods but she has kept me alive and I have always survived. As she says, it would be really stupid of her to hand over power and control to some young wanna be upstart. She’s seen plenty of them in the past and none of them have ever stuck around. Here today, gone tomorrow. Full of bright new ideas that are going to change my life for the better. She’s given them all a chance and every single one of them disappeared in the end. Leaving her to pick up the pieces.

When I failed to sit down to write this morning it was no big shock to me or her. I made all the right noises and I promised to write later even though I knew I was just lying to myself and that there wasn’t a cat in hell’s chance of that happening.

It galls me to admit it but the Old Girl was right. Failure was inevitable.

Round 2: The Rise Of The Young Pretender

When I chose to make more coffee and put a load of washing on instead of getting on with my writing task I could almost hear the old girl gloating. Until that is, the young pretender popped up.

“Just hold on there you old fart,” she yelled. “I’m not done yet.”

Well I was shocked to my core but I thought hang on, I’m not getting between these two. I’m just going to let them battle it out for a while. Although, I did indicate that I was firmly behind the Young Pretender and willing to support her to the best of my abilities. So I toddled off and grabbed an egg sandwich, I was just going to bite into it when I got the all clear from within to sit down and start to write once more. You could’ve knocked me down with a feather.

I was so happy that the Young Pretender was on the move and that at last my life was going to change for the better.

Round Three: Victory

Alas my joy was short lived. The Old Girl was hot on her heels, she had experience and cunning on her side. I could hear her screeching in the background,

“So you wanna be CEO do you? You think you can swan in here and run the place do ya? Well let’s see how you handle these because you’re gonna get plenty of them.”

Wham! The first jab landed. It was a good one straight to my heart: A monster doubt was unleashed.

Within a nano second of sitting down I could feel myself wavering, the Young Pretender stood firm and I was still in the game.

Wham! Jab two. Right into the solar plexus: A monster excuse that is a huge part of my programming: I am a busy person. I’m too busy to make any proper progress.

Ouch! That one hurt. The Young Pretender was beginning to weaken. Another nano second flashed by and in came jab three.

Wham! Jab three. Right into my kidneys. It was a nasty blow, a real sneaky one straight into my weak spot: Lack of commitment. I’m the person who doesn’t follow through or commit 100% so I always have an excuse when I fail, even if I am in a programme that tells me exactly what to do!

It was a savage blow and I could feel the Young Pretender buckling. I tried to hang on and type a few words but it was too late. The Old Girl could smell victory and nothing could stop her now.

Boom! In came the right hook.

“I can’t do this. I am a failure.”

That was it. My ultimate fear had been unleashed. The Young Pretender was overwhelmed and was losing her power. The Old Girl was too strong for her and I hit the deck hard. I was out for the count but was it game over for the Young Pretender?

Round 3: Game Over?

I was dazed and confused. I’d lost clarity and direction. I wasn’t sure I could get up again or if I would ever see the Young Pretender again. I only knew I felt icky and I didn’t know what to do with these feelings or how to save myself.

I took myself out of the fight and put on a pot of coffee. I tried to rationalise an irrational emotional situation. I took a sip of the warm bitter coffee and mulled it over. I knew if I was ever going to change my life I needed to have a really uncomfortable conversation with the Old Girl. One I should have had a long time ago.

I still felt a little groggy and I wasn’t sure it was going to work but I needed to try. So me and the old girl had a very uncomfortable heart to heart. I thanked her for looking after me and doing a great job till now. I acknowledged her concerns about the Young Pretender not being ready for the job and I agreed she wasn’t ready. I knew the Young Pretender was still a bit green but I thought she had potential and maybe just maybe if they worked together everything would work out fine. A perfect blend of old wisdom and new innovation.

The sap is rising

I thought I was getting somewhere and I could feel the Old Girl softening. It wasn’t easy for either of us and we both felt very emotional. There were tears. Tears of relief, tears of sadness and tears of joy. So many tears that I didn’t notice the rising sap of the Young Pretender. In the blink of an eye she had seized power and was firmly in control. Before I knew what was happening I was sitting down frantically tapping away. It didn’t last long.

Rain stops play

Ask any Wimbledon enthusiast and they will tell you there is nothing more frustrating than a heavy downpour that stops play. And so it was that no sooner had I started my writing exercise than I had to stop.

I really did have to teach there was no escaping that. Now I really had run out of time.

Game Set & Match

The Old Girl gave me a knowing wink and smiled smugly. Whilst the Young Pretender looked like the cat who ate the cream as she basked in her victory.

It troubled me that the Old Girl looked so smug, so I took a minute to stop and think.

I looked back over the morning. I had to acknowledge that the Old Girl had played a good game. In fact now that I really, really thought about it, I had spent my morning caught up in a drama of my own making. I wasn’t calm and committed and focused on writing because I was too busy putting out fires, procrastinating, eating, drinking and watching the drama of my life unfold.

The Young Pretender stopped in her tracks as the cream turned sour and a slow realisation dawned. She had just played a master and the master had won.

Game Set & Match to the Old Girl.

To be continued…