I’ve Been Thinking About My Averageness Differently, and It’s Improving My Life

What you think is what you get

I AM AVERAGE.

I’ve finally had to admit it.

Since I turned 40 I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching. And I’ve finally had to admit something to myself, and I tell you that it wasn’t easy.

I’m not going to lie, I’m not happy with that. And so I asked myself this simple question….

What is average?

I’ve had to really think about this. After all, a person is not just one thing, but a collection of many. So, I came up with this list;

• How much money do I make?
• Where am I in my career?
• Where I’ve been, what I’ve done and what I’ve seen?
• How smart am I?
• I am that big of a deal?

If I’m honest with the answers in this list, then I’ve got to say that I am indeed average.

And you know what? I am fine with that. I’m not going to get upset by that. After all, am I really concerned how I stack up against others?

When I was younger, yes I was. But not now.

And then I noticed something. Something about what averageness is. Something that I realised had been stalking me like two giant stalking things* for so long that I had never noticed before;

My average and the average are two different things

And then I got it.

I can make my own average

Yes, I am average. But the average of what? The average of other people? Or the average of what I do?

I being the operative word here.

What others do or are is outside of my control. I cannot be taller or shorter, I can’t be any smarter nor can I go back in time and make better choices.

I can change and do more. I can make more money, I can travel more. I can be better than average. Or I can stop putting in the effort and become below average.

But no matter where I lie on the scale of other people, I will always be one type of average;

“The average of all the time of being me”

The reframe

Comparing ourselves to others is largely a waste of time. We all know this is the case. But why?

When we compare ourselves to others, we;

• Shift out focus to the external
• See the outcomes
• Compare where we are at
• Think about decreasing the gap between them and us

Trying to play catch-up using the average as a yardstick has ended with me being in the position that I’m in.

Now, I said that I’m ok with being average, and that is true.

The reality, however, is that I’m not content with my life in general. I did think that it was going to just turn out differently than it has.

And this is where the reframe comes in. Instead of doing what I have done when comparing myself to the average, I’m keeping track of the one average that matters.

My average.

This is the only average that matters. And that’s because it’s the only average that we can control.

The average number of steps per day in the UK is 5,444. If mine is 2,008 then that I can look at this higher number and i’well, I’ve got to up my game and do more steps!’.

But this does nothing to improve my average.

Or, I can think only of myself. Yes, I mean it. I can be selfish and think only of how many steps that I take. How I structure my day. And I can prioritise walking. I can increase my average.

Conclusion

I’ve decided to always see myself as average. And I’m going to revel in it.

But it’s an average of my making. An average that I make. An average that is dependent entirely on myself and what I do, not what others do or are.

Really, in my life, my average is the only average that really exists.

Now, we are all going to be average in some regard.

So, decide what kind of average you want to be.

And be it.

*If you get the reference, you are a Legend, so show off in the comments

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