Summary

An author reflects on their experience with an internet troll, initially reacting with anger but ultimately learning valuable lessons about self-worth and empathy.

Abstract

The author of the article initially dismissed negative comments about their writing as a joke but soon realized they were being targeted by an internet troll. This realization led to a mix of emotions, including curiosity about the troll's identity and a sense of achievement for having attracted such attention. However, when the troll's comments escalated to personal insults, the author's emotions boiled over into an angry response, which they wisely chose not to post. This incident prompted introspection about the nature of their reaction, acknowledging that personal insecurities and past wounds can influence how one deals with criticism. The author concludes by recognizing that achievements do not necessarily heal internal struggles and that understanding the troll's potential personal issues can lead to compassion rather than anger. The experience underscores the importance of self-awareness and kindness, even towards those who may be cruel.

Opinions

The author initially underestimated the impact of the troll's comments, mistaking them for light-hearted jest.
The troll's persistent negative feedback eventually led to the author feeling a sense of notoriety and internet celebrity status.
Despite the troll's intent to demean the author's work, their comments inadvertently resulted in financial gain for the author.
The author's emotional response to the troll's escalated insults revealed personal vulnerabilities and the presence of unhealed internal wounds.
The act of composing a heated retort provided the author with enough time to reflect and prevent the posting of an equally hurtful response.
The author emphasizes that criticism can trigger deep-seated insecurities and self-doubt, highlighting the importance of addressing these issues independently of one's achievements.
The author advocates for empathy towards the troll, suggesting that hurtful behavior may stem from the troll's own unresolved pain and life experiences.
Reflecting on the incident, the author acknowledges the need for further self-examination to understand the roots of their strong emotional reaction.
The author cites Theodore Roosevelt's quote to emphasize the value of those who actively contribute and face criticism, as opposed to the critics themselves.

I’ve Got A Troll. And I’m Embarrassed By My Reaction To His Cruelty

A brutal critic hounded me. But I learned a valuable lesson.

At first, I thought it was a joke.

A light-hearted remark about my writing. ‘It could do with a little improvement’. But then the comments got stronger. And more frequent. Then the realization dawned. I’ve got my own troll. I’m officially an internet celebrity.

But then I got curious. Who is this guy? So I checked him out.

He has 66 followers. And hasn’t written anything. He has a reading list of 9 pieces of ‘bad writing’. And 3 are mine! Oddly he includes my best-ever performer as bad (8,500 views and 303 comments!). I guess I should feel honored. Mr Troll only follows 6 people. And I’m one of them. It makes me laugh his critical comments earn me money.

But then things dramatically changed.

Instead of the usual single comment, I got 5 strong insults on one post.

Your writing is crap

Your writing doesn’t make sense

Who on Earth has dubbed your output “high quality”?

The only thing you can teach is how to be a terrible writer

Good writing is key and I’ve yet to see you meet that standard in any of your posts

I snapped.

With the anger pulsing through my fingers, I pounded the keys. Preparing to launch my own nuclear response:

You pathetic creature. You haven’t written anything except vile comments. I’ve helped loads of writers. What have you contributed to this world? All you do is try to destroy people with your snide remarks. But no one is listening. I’m going to keep writing. And inspire others to believe in themselves. So why don’t you crawl back under your rock and leave the internet a better place?

A dark smile passed across my face. Revenge was a sweet taste in my mouth. Then in a moment of rare wisdom.

I deleted my shameful response.

Where did that come from?

Why would I allow a stranger to rent a room in my head?

Feelings are faster than logic. My head knows it doesn’t matter what he thinks. But something deep inside me was triggered. My reactions exploded before my rational mind had hit first gear.

Fortunately for me. My rant took long enough to write, it gave my wiser self time to catch up. The mature me grabbed the steering wheel before my inner child could hit publish. The truth is we all have wounds. These are painful if touched. It’s why we hurt those close to us with our sharp words and selfish reactions.

It’s easier to blame someone else for our reaction. But when something dark comes out of us. It’s because it was there in the first place. Criticism doesn’t put negativity in us. It draws out what we’ve hidden. Insecurity. Self-doubt. A need to prove ourselves.

I’ve been stunned by my writing achievements over the last 6 months:

gained 6000 followers
grown a 1400-strong newsletter
made $2000 in 2 weeks from my course

But Mr Troll taught me something profound.

Your achievements won’t heal your wounds. They only mask them.

Let’s offer Mr Troll some kindness

Everyone has a reason for their actions.

In leading a charity with 100+ volunteers. I’ve handled plenty of difficult people. And they always have a story. Of something that’s happened to them. Hurt people hurt people. We all have a history that influences our behaviour.

I remember a challenging colleague in my first job. She made my life a misery. I didn’t last long there. Decades later I’d forgotten the experience. Until my new manager had the same name. A wave of insecurity and fear overwhelmed me for a moment. But I told myself this was a different person. And I calmed down.

But most of the time we’re unaware our past is shaping our response. Maybe Mr Troll has been treated terribly in life. Maybe no one has shown him how to be kind. Or the value of encouraging others. Maybe the moment he brings others down is the only time he feels good about himself.

How bad must life be that follow a writer you don’t like. So you can leave vile comments? I feel pity not angry for Mr Troll.

And what about me?

If 6000 people follow me but 1 guy doesn’t like my writing. I should be happy with that. So why did I react so strongly? I’ll need to do a bit more digging to answer that one.

Remember it’s not the critic who counts. The credit belongs to the one who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust, sweat and blood. (Theodore Roosevelt)

And if you don’t think my writing is crap. You can have the writing system that took me from 500–5000 followers in 6 months. Join 976 writers and get it here:

I’ve Got A Troll. And I’m Embarrassed By My Reaction To His Cruelty

A brutal critic hounded me. But I learned a valuable lesson.

Where did that come from?

Let’s offer Mr Troll some kindness

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