Summary

The text poetically describes a profound personal journey of overcoming adversity, depicted as escaping a metaphorical black hole and challenging the depths of despair to find hope and self-rescue.

Abstract

The narrative "I’ve Been Drowning In That Courage Liquid" delves into the depths of human resilience, painting a vivid picture of a struggle that transcends conventional wisdom. It portrays an individual's quest to break free from the clutches of a personal abyss, symbolized by a black hole, at the eleventh hour. Through evocative imagery, the piece conveys the paradoxical serenity and chaos of this internal battle, characterized by silent sounds and absent feelings juxtaposed with loud voices and uninvited sensations. The protagonist likens themselves to a falling star on the verge of collapse, navigating without a compass through 'no-go-zones' in search of elusive treasures. Despite the absence of maps and the pressure of existential depths, there is a glimmer of hope as an eel illuminates the darkness, revealing forgotten paths. The text concludes with a defiant refusal to succumb, asserting the will to live against all odds.

Opinions

The author views the struggle against despair as akin to drowning in courage, suggesting that facing one's darkest moments requires immense bravery.
There is a sense of disconnection from reality, as the protagonist experiences a muted world where feelings are dulled, yet intrusive thoughts and sensations are overwhelming.
The protagonist perceives their journey as a solitary one, with no clear direction or support, emphasizing the isolation felt during deep personal crises.
The text implies a criticism of conventional coping mechanisms, hinting that sometimes the 'storm' is mistaken for a 'lighthouse,' leading to further entrapment in mental anguish.
The mention of 'sunken treasures' and 'no maps for 'no-go-zones'' suggests a belief in the value of exploring the unknown and uncharted aspects of the human psyche.
The imagery of the eel sparking light in the darkness symbolizes an unexpected source of hope or enlightenment amidst overwhelming despair.
The final verses reflect a powerful resolve to continue fighting against the pressures to give up, affirming the protagonist's desire to live and the strength found in refusal to surrender.

I’ve Been Drowning In That Courage Liquid

1000 meters below common sense. A luminous beginning just before the dimmed end: Escaping one’s own Black-Hole in the last, darkest hour.

Between life and death, swimming, dancing in frozen flames..

The sound is mute, the feeling is absent, but loud voices..

Uninvited caress rashes my skin but I call those soft kisses..

Drifting away, hasting strangers, appealing dangers..

In here nothing shifts but one’s common sense..

I am merely a falling star, awaiting to collapse..

The bottom, the surface, blue zone no forgiveness..

To sink safely or to fly in liquid skies my wishes..

Black-Hole, I’m still blue but left choiceless..

My soul escaped my being, it derails, it fades..

On the compassless aim to find sunken treasures..

No maps for ‘no-go-zones’, an arid wilderness..

I remained trapped in imaginary post traumatic disorders..

Trained to believe the storm is my lighthouse versus..

Safeshores could contain my agony and inner betrayals..

Last hope was torn apart by the vacuum of my existence..

Left to be eaten by the pressures of the depths, I’m leftovers..

Ceremoniously, an eel sparks the immense darkness..

Lights up invisible deathbeds, a glimpse into forgotten traces..

Hello but not goodbye. No, just say no. Thanks but not thanks. I’ve been actually drowning in my own cry. Refusing to stop refusing and ask why?! Why it’s not my time to die.

Unknowingly supported by Taha Abbas and Breanna Lowman 💙