4 Ways to MOVE mom Out.

I’ve been a Realtor for 40 years..I just read a story from a women that’s stressed over taking care of her ailing mother. Dealing with managing all the stuff she’s collected, her mental and physical health and her decaying home.

This scenario is very common. I’ve seen many variations, however. Some some more simpiler than others. The story I read is the hardest way to deal with this. 1. Easiest scenario. Daughter flies into town. Puts mom in apartment, no discussion. Then calls "rid o vit" to empty out house. Then does inspection, fixes essential repairs. Flies out, deals with the sale via docusign using limited power of atty . That’s it. Simple and done.

2. easiest. Kids go through house w mom and sort. Keep only what’s valuable, move mom out. Calls a Caring Trasition company, they sort sell and trash everything! Give you a check.Sell house as is. Won’t get as much but easier. Don’t need POA. Mom signs

3. Now getting harder Spend weeks sorting with mom. Now assuming she’s like most people. If she has that much stuff, she won’t want to give it away. Mom doesn’t want to move, set her up with care service, energy alert, instacart or meals on wheels. Let her live her life no matter how dangerous. She’s an adult, she has a right to decide her fate. If she falls then she’ll most likely have to move out forever. Then sell items and house. 4.Hardest. 1 or more kids come in but normally just 1 or 2 do most of the work. Spending great deal of time helping mom with every little item. Wait for mom to finally decide to move. Then have garage sales, hoping someone with pay alot for the vase she collected to her trip to Niagara Falls. Then clean out the house yourself, trying to get the house ready for the market. Sell it, then fight with siblings. Since all that money will go to your moms care.

I prefer a combo of above depending on your parents and how close you are. Priority. This is your life, she's lived hers. She lives as she wants, though more hazerdous. Most important point from all this. DO NOT FOLLOW THEIR EXAMPLE! Clean out your basements, attics, closets, read up on giving up stuff, not as hard as you think, Take care of yourself, don't look like a younger version of your mom! Lose weight, you'll lose half you medical issues. Maintain your home, paint, repair and replace. If you can't afford it, move out.

Otherwise, you’re setting up your kids to go through what you’re going through. It’s NOT your kids' responsibility to take care of you. What a horrible responsibility to nail them to. Let them enjoy their lives. Make it easy for them. Remember how you’re now thinking of your mom as a burden. How sad.

You only have control over what you do with your time. SET boundaries! This will help you not build up resentment toward her.

Family first, don’t spend your families money or the time you should be spending with them on her.

Explain these with her. Tell her the boundaries you’ve set, finacial and time limits.

She should understand. If not, too bad. Sounds cruel but that’s just the way it has to be. You love her, but you also love your family and yourself…