It’s time to emerge from the cave and take a stroll outside. Read this if you doubt yourself.

An ode to overcoming your imposter and finding your voice.

I often find myself creatively paralysed. I can spend an inordinate amount of time transfixed by my own psychosis, staring long and hard into the imaginary mirror that tells me only that I’m not enough. Not doing enough. Not trying hard enough. And if I am, it doesn’t matter. No one cares.

This mirror has existed for a long time, certainly all of my adult life and most likely it was formed early in my childhood. That perpetual sense of not being enough, or not being capable of doing well, is imprinted early and permanently.

This challenge affects a massive number of people, many of whom you would be surprised to learn do not consider what they do to be any good, let alone great. In my work as a coach to senior Executives, I’m regularly surprised how often very successful people suffer the same ailment – self-disbelief.

I use this term intentionally, because to my view this goes beyond a lack of self-belief, and into the active construction of a negative state – self-disbelief.

For me, this affect plays out frequently in both my own work as Founder CEO of a leadership consultant business, and in my assessment of my global impact.

I benefited from the wisdom of a mentor some years ago, who set me on a process of discovery, experimentation and intentional exposure. Whilst this journey has by no means cured this malady, it has enabled me to make strides to overcome it sufficiently that I can pursue my purpose, and more successes in life and work have come as a result. I want to share that wisdom with you here.

The path to finding your voice

The journey began with my mentor asking me a powerful question – “What more do you need to do in order to have the impact you want?”. We had spent the previous session discussing my intention being to help leaders make the world better.

My response to his question was along the lines of more learning. I am a perpetual learner, and will always feel like there are more sources I can review, more insights I can gain, in order to be a better Coach and Consultant to improve my work and better inform my perspective as the leader of a growing business and parent in a growing family.

He agreed, learning is important and is as I know a life-long journey. But he wanted me to focus on something else. To show more of myself.

The point he went on to reflect on was that I already know more than enough to help many people in leadership roles to make the world better. I’ve been practicing my craft for 15 years. I’ve helped thousands of leaders and organisations. In order to increase my impact, I needed to show more of myself so that more leaders could find me and seek me out so that I could help them too. I needed to find my voice.

The first shift – don’t just recycle, create.

What I’m referring to here is marketing – the great mountain of messaging that all entrepreneurs and self-brand creators know well. Most who do this well come from a place of service, understanding that marketing exists to help others, not sell more.

“Marketing is the generous act of helping someone solve a problem. Their problem”. Seth Godin — This is Marketing.

The marketing that I was doing when I first engaged my mentor was based on learning. I would share what I was learning. If I read a brilliant article, I would share it. If I loved a great knowledge-based book, I would recommend it. If I encountered an inspiring speakers, I would advocate for them.

What I wasn’t doing was creating anything of my own. I was not adding to the fount of knowledge, I was simply recycling what was already there. In doing so, I did not have a voice in the debate. Because of this, no one could identity me with any different perspective from any other practitioner of my craft who reads and watches content related to our field.

My mentor challenged me as to why I wasn’t putting forth my own opinions. What were my clients paying me for, he asked, if not that. I didn’t seem to have any issues reflecting on my perspectives and experiences in private conversations, so why not use those same views to create and share content based on them?

I struggled to create not because I didn’t know how to, but because I didn’t believe doing so would help anyone.

Coming off the wall

I was glued to the wall at the back of my imposter cave, and I refused to come out for anyone. I was hanging on for dear life, but going nowhere.

My mentor, compassionately and with exactly the right balance of conviction and persuasion, got me to take just one hand off the wall and write something. And then the next hand, to record something. And step by step, I came out of the cave and headed outside.

The first step my mentor asked me to make was to write down everything I had done related to my craft – leadership. From the earliest moments, to the most recent. No matter how small, no matter how insignificant, write them all down.

What emerged was a Hero’s Journey like list of baby steps, building into juvenile bounds and finally to the mature strides of today, with many trips, stumbles and falls along the way.

Each of these moments he suggested, would be worthy of reflection and discussion, which we did over a series of sessions. He let me know which he felt were the more informative and interesting, and I selected which of those I would be willing to speak the most freely about. The next challenge was a leap, to sculpt the story.

Moving towards the light…

So with both hands now off the wall and moving slowly towards the light at the edge of the imposter cave, my next task was to build a story out of this one example. Stories start with content, move through events and reach a climatic conclusion where the audience receives to decisive learning.

My mentor had identified that I tell stories best by speaking them, and suggested that I begin this process by making videos of myself describing the events and replay them to draw the key language and emotions out as I tell the tale.

Once I had gotten my head around doing this, written a few posts based on my personal experiences, and recorded a few dreadful first attempt videos and shared them with him, he asked me to take the next step. To share my articles with a few close friends and trusted clients, and to start a YouTube channel and put some videos there.

“YouTube? You must be crazy!” I replied. There’s no way I want to share these epic fails with the world. “Do you know how much content there is on YouTube?” He responded. “No one is going to stumble onto them. Most likely no one will see them. But the fact that they are up there, and people could see them, is another step towards you taking that next step.”

So I did both, and took my first firm step outside of the cave, and towards sharing my voice.

Taking a step outside…

The thing about the outside, as you step out from a cave, is that the light is glaring. But only at first. And once you’ve adjusted to the light, it’s restorative. The air is fresh, the landscape deep, rich and sustaining. And each step you take away from the familiarity of the cave, your curiousity is stimulated even more.

So like all who create, my first efforts were truely terrible. In my eyes. But most who read or watched gave only positive and constructive feedback. And all encouraged me to go on creating. So I have.

I committed to putting a video on YouTube every day for a month. At the end of this time, my web developer, an avid consumer of YouTube content, told me I needed to share the video’s with my main network, on LinkedIn. My mentor agreed. “All you are doing is showing who you are, and what you know. If people don’t like you, and don’t respect what you know, they won’t ever be the customers you want”, where his words, reflecting Seth Godin’s ‘Minimum Viable Audience’ approach, that struck deep and gave me the final push to share my creations with those I valued most — my clients, prospects and professional network.

Going for a stroll…

That was early February 2020. I’ve continued on the stroll away from the cave, occasionally looking back, and on two instances going back there, but only for a short while and being very aware that I was there when I did.

I’ve continued my daily video broadcasts, both on YouTube and in LinkedIn. The feedback has been great. Both those who know me has been positive, insistning that I keep going and reassurning me that what I’m doing is aligned with my intention — to show who I am and share my knowledge adn views. They tell me they not only look forward to my videos, but also that you learn from them and most importantly, I get them thinking. This makes me smile, and continue onwards.

I’ve also launched a long-planned and much procrastinated podcast, also to positive feedback and an outstanding extention of my network as those in the audience that the messages resound most with, reach out and connect.

I’ve also been invited to collaborate in webinars, summits and other forums where expressing one’s views based on personal knowledge and experience is essentially the only reason to be in the room.

I still struggle to believe that I have the experience, wisdom and insight to help others. But those I help continue to tell me this is not the case. So I try to listen to them, rather than The Imposter.

The way ahead…

I will always need to find ways to tackle The Imposter. I know he will never truely leave. But I commit to continuing to wander further and further away from the cave, endeavouring to spend less and less time there.

The way ahead is not always clear. My belief should not be founded on knowing the best way forward, only on trusting that I will find a way forward. And that the way I find, will be the best way at that moment, based on what I know, who I am, and who I am moving towards being. A leader who makes the world better, pursuing my purpose.

I will fail. But I will learn. I will grow, and I will help others to do the same.

I’ll go back to the cave once in a while, but the visits there will be shorter every time I return.

I wish you luck, joy and learning as you step out from your cave, and tackler your Imposter.

Thank you for your time and attention. Be well, lead well, and build a better world.

Tim