It’s Time To Change the Way Marriage Works

Summary

Matt Sweetwood proposes a radical transformation of the marriage institution by suggesting marriages should have a 2-year expiration date with the option for renewal.

Abstract

Matt Sweetwood, after engaging in a discussion sparked by a humorous Facebook post about his fear of marriage, delves into the current state of marriage and its associated industries. He highlights that the U.S. wedding industry is a $72 billion sector, with the average marriage lasting about 8 years and ending in divorce more than half the time, contributing to a$ 50 billion divorce industry. Sweetwood argues that marriage, as it currently stands, is a failing institution that often leads to financial strain and emotional distress. His solution is to restructure marriage contracts to last for 2 years, with an option for renewal if both parties agree, and to mandate clear terms for asset division and custody from the outset. This approach, he believes, will ensure better performance in marriages, reduce the need for divorces, and encourage more people to commit to marriage with a safety net.

Opinions

Sweetwood suggests that the traditional lifetime commitment of marriage lacks a mechanism for ensuring partners' continued effort and satisfaction.
He points out that the high rates of divorce indicate a systemic issue with the current structure of marriage.
The author's proposal aims to prevent people from feeling trapped in unhappy marriages and to reduce the emotional and financial toll of divorces.
Sweetwood's marriage fix is designed to motivate spouses to actively contribute to the marriage, knowing that it is not an indefinite commitment.
He believes that a 2-year term with the possibility of renewal is sufficient time to evaluate a partnership without sacrificing a significant portion of one's life to an unsuitable relationship.
The proposed change could potentially lead to more successful marriages and a reduction in the need for a divorce industry.

Marriage needs to come with an expiration date.

It all started with a humorous Facebook post I made recently about my fear of marriage. I was taking my usual Saturday walk-about in Manhattan when I turned the corner on 42nd street, near Grand Central Terminal, and I came across a wedding photography shoot. I snapped selfies with the wedding parties.

This post initiated a significant discussion about whether marriage is a failing institution or not. In addition to the 75+ comments on the post, I received numerous private messages furthering the conversation.

I decided to do a little more research.

The U.S. wedding industry is a $72 billion dollar industry according to an IBISWorld research report. The national average cost of a wedding, according to The Knot, is $35K across all demographics. We all know, in major metropolitan areas, you can spend $35K on just the banquet hall.

The average marriage lasts about 8 years, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. We also see from this census that the divorce rate for first marriages is almost 50%, over 60% for second marriages, and a whopping 74% for third marriages. Not very good odds at all.

Since most marriages are ending in divorce, that means a contribution will likely be made to the $50 billion-dollar-a-year divorce industry. And according to wevorce.com, the average divorce costs $100,000.

This begs the question: Is marriage a failed and money-draining institution? My answer is that the way we engage (pun intended) in marriage now, it is a failure. But I have a unique fix to this problem that I gave for the first time publicly in my LIVE Sunday Night Show.

And the fix is simple: Marriage should have a 2-year expiration date with automatic renewal, if both parties agree to continue, within 60 days of the end of the 2 years. And the marriage contract should be required to explicitly spell out in simple terms how all the assets and custody issues will be divided at the end of the 2 years. If you can’t agree on how things should be divided when you are getting married, then you shouldn’t get married.

This fix addresses the fundamental issue with marriage: it is a lifetime contract that requires no performance. Imagine you hire someone to work for you and you tell them they are hired forever, will get paid forever and they don’t have to do anything if they don’t want to (no government worker jokes please). How do you think that employee will perform in 10 years from now, even if they took the job with the best of intentions?

Making marriage a 2-year renewable deal will ensure that no one gets stuck in a bad place and will make both parties know that they must perform — be good spouses or the arrangement will end. And 2 years is enough time to see your spouse go through all the life-cycle events. And it’s not so long that you have wasted much of your life with the wrong person.

My marriage fix will virtually wipe-away the entire divorce industry, will eliminate much of the pain and suffering that happens with bad and failing marriages, will improve the performance of people within marriages, and will get more people to be willing to make the marriage commitment to each other.

So, let’s fix the awful life sentence that marriage can become and say, “I do” to a more sensible and likely successful, 2-year deal.

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