POLITICS

It’s the Same Old Song

Not even a different meaning since he’s been gone

I’m a political junkie.

And, as my Nana would say, what goes around could just be the same old, same old one more time. So I need to step off the political turntable — for right now, at least.

I lived in D.C. for dang near 40 years. I worked in journalism, politics and influence-peddling in our Nation’s Capital. I’m as game as the next gal to engage in a battle of wits over policy, predictions and the predilections familiar in the “will he or won’t she?” mindset that is D.C.

The blood sport of politics often claims no winners or losers — just those who’ve lived to fight another day.

But as the dog days of August approached, even grizzled veterans familiar with how to play the game had to be wondering. “Do we have to hear that broken record all over again?”

It’s that time of year, folks, when all of those “nattering nabobs of negativism” have run out of things to say.

From positions to pontificate about, to adversaries to skewer; from the gray eminence of The New York Times, to the punchy pithiness of comedy icon John Oliver. It’s all getting to be a tad stale, isn’t it?

As always, I blame the former guy. No, I refuse to capitalize this iconic nickname, bequeathed to the giant orange turd by President Biden during a CNN town hall earlier this year. In an effort to remain relevant, Captain Underpants has been reduced to writing old-school press releases, and hoping they gain at least a fraction of the traction his multi-gazillion follower Twitter account once had.

This, I think, has caused the “media” to do one of two things: amplify stupidity repeatedly, or elevate that stupidity beyond the pale.

Take “tfg’s” recent primary endorsements. I learned the other day that Mango Mussolini is downright proud of his endorsement “record.” Be that as it may, it’s a pretty pathetic accomplishment.

In the 2018 midterms, the then-occupant of the Oval Office endorsed 75 candidates. How much influence did he have during that election cycle? Turns out to be a piss-poor one: 36 of his preferred picks lost their respective races. And his record in 2020 was even worse, with only 21 of “tfg’s” preferred candidates winning in contested races out of 111 endorsements, if you eliminate incumbents (usually a safe bet) and uncontested races (always winners— ask Marjorie Taylor Greene) from the total.

So it looks like there’s really no big reason to be afraid of the Tangerine Terror’s endorsement. But you’d never know that this sad excuse for a human being had such a terrible track record following the pronouncements in the political press the past two weeks.

Take a look at a few recent headlines:

• “How Republican Jake Ellzey’s bipartisan appeal, positive campaign helped him upset Trump’s pick for Congress” — The Texas Tribune
• “Texas voters brush aside Trump endorsement and name Jake Ellzey the winner in a House special election in Texas” — The Washington Post

And after that “tfg”-endorsed candidate lost in a special election in North Texas, look at the headlines in advance of a Ohio House of Representatives primary.

• “Trump Endorsement Power Faces Another Test in Ohio Special Race”— Bloomberg Politics
• “Trump faces another primary test in Ohio House race” — CNN

Hey, we’re all quaking in our QAnon booties, am I right? And we all know what happened Tuesday. The Orange Ogre’s guy won.

Sorry, but all this Chicken Little-esque reportage is not only repetitive, it’s downright boring.

And often wrong, I reckon. All it accomplishes is to fill the holes created in coverage during a sleepy July and August, when not much is going on anyway. Oh, and it feeds the former guy’s ego, and props up his game plan. His goal is to keep his name in the news. Queue Homer Simpson: “Doh!”

The lazy, hazy days of summer. And crazy dull, if you ask me. Thank goodness the Olympics came along when they did.

So I’m bowing out of monitoring the give-and-take in the political arena, at least for now.

Unless we can see more stories like this one, from The Post’s Dana Milbank. It’s from February 2016, but I just now got around to reading it. Yeah, I couldn’t tell you why it took me so long.

The headline? “Donald Trump’s ‘Captain Underpants’ campaign”. And the author’s prose devolved from there.

As John Oliver would say, “both shocking and utterly inevitable”.