It’s Taking Too Much Time to Reach Your Dreams Than It Should — Here’s Why

Time to rethink your concept of dream achievement

The book, Who Not How by Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy, PhD, opens with a story about the basketball legend Michael Jordan. Then, talks about how the Chicago Bulls weren’t succeeding despite Michael’s incredible talent. And it goes on to discuss that they needed a “who,” not a “how” to succeed.

So, they brought in Scottie Pippen and coach Phil Jackson. And together with Michael’s strength and conditioning coach, Tim Grover, the team won the championship continuously, which led to their success, and Michael became the best basketball player of all time, undoubtedly.

When I read it, it struck me. Wait a minute. Despite having all the logistics to achieve a goal, if you don’t have “a who” — an individual to help you out, you can’t get anywhere? This is a profound revelation.

At that moment, I realized we don’t need “a how” outrightly to achieve our dreams—instead, someone who could guide and show us the way. And not realizing it is the reason some of us aren’t reaching our goals.

Why who, not how?

Michael Jordan and the Chicago bulls had all the possible resources to succeed, but they weren’t reaching the goal.

What do you think was the reason? Why do you think despite all the resources, success was eluding them?

It’s because when you set out to achieve a goal, you need someone to direct and guide you. Someone who has ample knowledge and experience in what you want to achieve. That was what the bulls were lacking. Until Scotie Pippen, Phil Jackson, and Tim Grover came along, the trajectory for the team changed.

In our case, we don’t have the resources or what it takes to achieve our goals. And asking how, we still haven’t gotten the answers. So, why keep asking “how” when we know asking it isn’t bringing the answer?

I have been a victim of this for far too long — that most times, I could think, think and think to the extent of having migraines. Yet, I don’t get the answer. And I know the same is you.

So, instead of keeping on with that habit, why don’t we ask “who”? Because, if from the Bulls, asking that brought them what they needed and became successful, it can get us the same.

Another reason is that since the resources needed to achieve our goals are in the hands of others, it’s only when we ask “who” that we can find these people. And even if we don’t get the resources right away, the people we find will know others who have them, and we’ll get it. But, it’s all possible when we ask who and not how.

“Whos creates abundance and self-expansion.” — Dr. Benjamin Hardy

You could reach your goals far quicker if you allow others to guide you

Achieving a dream is a multifaceted thing. So, you need people to help you. You can’t do it alone. Goal achievement demands it. People are a crucial part of the process. It’s why when you set a goal, especially if it’s s mega-goal, you must ask yourself “who” do I need to achieve this goal and not “how.”

Research indicates people who ask who instead of how to reach their goals faster. But, of course, the same thing can happen to you if you do the same — ask who.

Whenever you set a goal, whether you have the resources or not, instead of asking yourself how, ask who. Because it’s the people who have the expertise and knowledge, you’ll find that will get things going for you. And it doesn’t happen by asking how. How doesn’t bring answers. Instead, it brings frustration, stress, anxiety, especially if you can’t find the answers. And you wouldn’t find the answers too when you ask.

So, why not shift your focus from how to who when setting goals? Whos bring results, hows, don’t. They make us stuck in our heads, which prevents us from acting.

“Who creates result, how creates problems.” — Dr. Benjamin Hardy

We’ve been dealing with the wrong people all these while

The personal education world is filled with many people who don’t know anything. I know it’s harsh, but that’s the reality. I’ve listened and watched coaches and have never heard about what I’ve discovered from reading this book. Perhaps, it already exists, and they teach it, but I’m now finding it. I stand to be corrected.

But, until this day, all I knew was asking how. How can I achieve this goal? And the more I did it, the more I felt stuck and couldn’t find the answer.

But, I don’t usually hear coaches discuss this as the right way to achieve a dream. Everything is all about the how. And I can’t tell if they aren’t aware of it or… something. But if what I have discovered from reading this book is the truth, and it is, then I’ve been dealing with the wrong people, and the same is you, and it’s time to rethink the people you’ve trusted to help you achieve your goals. An actual coach teaches who and not how. Because, how doesn’t bring answers.

What you must do to help yourself reach your goals quicker

The third chapter of the book narrates the story of Paul Heiss, who is the founder and president of IBCC industries, Inc, a company that turns scrap metals into parts of trucks, tractors, etc., based in China. And how with a direct tax retaliation approved by Donald Trump, China increased tariffs on pork products and aluminum scrap by 25%. And in order not to let the company’s customers who are in the U.S, Europe, Japan, etc., down, Paul had to do something to keep up with production and supply.

In his bid to solve the problem, Paul had discovered that India would be the best place to relocate the company to keep up with demand. To do it, He asked, “how do we start manufacturing in India”? But couldn’t find the answer until he discovered the “who question,” which helped him locate the right people who made his dream a reality. And after relocating to India, not only did he meet up with the customer’s needs, but he was able to produce more than $20 million in revenue. And all of it happened in eighteen months. That’s the power of asking “who.”

The same applies to you if you’d achieve your goals. Instead of asking, how do I accomplish this goal? Ask; who can help me achieve this goal?

Final thoughts

Having to achieve a goal takes a lot of factors. Call it the science of goal achievement. But, among it all, what makes goal achievement quicker and faster is asking the “who” question. Because, without knowing who can help you, you won’t get anywhere setting the goal using the tricks and formulas out there. For in the who, you’ll get access to the resources and all the help needed to make it happen.

Ask Who, not how, when you set a goal. That’s what will make you achieve it.

Thanks to Benjamin Hardy, PhD

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