It’s So Easy to Fall in Love and So Hard to Heal a Broken Heart
Get your heart destroyed
“If winter comes, can spring be far behind?”- Percy Bysshe Shelley
Your world is trembling. Your heart shattered into a million pieces. The emptiness touches every cell in your body, and each day feels unbearable.
You don’t want to eat, and you can’t sleep. Emotions take all over you. You travel between anger, sadness, grief, and anxiety.
You can’t stop thinking about them. You’ve cried every day at night, and millions of questions pass through your mind.
Will you be able to find love again?
Will you be able to survive without their love and affection in this big world?
Will you be happy again?
We find the experience of heartbreak in paintings and music. Millions of songs are written because of a broken heart. The profoundly touching poems exist because of broken hearts.
People build empires because someone smashed their hearts. People lose 20 pounds because of breakups. People can get into dark holes of depression and never get out of them again because of breakups.
Breakups take us to hell, and we need to find ways to get out of hell victorious, even if it feels like the hardest thing to do.
Breakups feel like the world is ending, and you need to start from 0. Yet, for a moment, even if it’s a universal pain, it also feels deeply personal, leaving you with sudden loneliness.
No one ever told us the ultimate truth about relationships.
The truth: all relationships end.
We see Disney movies that portray an idealized love that would last eternities. Since we are young, we dream about finding “the one.” But, unfortunately, each day, someone is getting heartbroken.
Two things happen:
You live happily after, but one of you will die sooner or later.
You loved each other, but things didn’t work out, and you broke up.
Grieving is 10X harder when the person is still alive.
Probably the person you loved still walks and breaths
When someone dies, you go through a period of grief but eventually, you accept the death because there is no hope. The person is gone forever.
Breakups are different.
The person you love might be partying somewhere or sleeping with other people. You can imagine all kinds of scenarios about what they’re doing. But, because they’re still walking on this earth, you might find yourself fueled by the hope that doesn’t let you move on.
Our delusional need for control and the fear of uncertainty
The universe can be aggressive and act in the most unexpected ways.
Breakups show you that you aren’t in control. Lifeworks in mysterious and unexpected ways. Maybe you found out your partner cheated on you, or they suddenly broke up out of nowhere.
You made plans for the future, and those plans go through the trash bean in a second. So you are left inevitably needing to create a new project and new dreams to survive.
The only constant change is impermanence.
As much as we want something forever, it ultimately changes in some form. We can only move further. However, the pain of a broken heart is so painful that sometimes it makes you want to get out of your body.
Getting your heart destroyed inevitably leaves you understanding that the present moment is all you get to make yourself feel better and living with the pain for a while, taking it one day at a time, going with the flow, and trusting that life will bring you good things after the darkness.
