It’s Only Embarrassing If You’re Embarrassed

The reason behind embarrassment and cringe and how to grow out of it

We’ve all been there. You’re running late, literally running, checking the time on your phone and there’s this paving stone thinking it would be a great moment to make you stumble. So there you are, everybody just saw you kiss goodbye the paving stones, naturally, you feel embarrassed. But why? What is embarrassment?

Embarrassment is an emotion that tries to hide either something done or a feature considered a flaw. Why? Because of the fear that if seen, would lead to judgmental comments and rejection from society.

Understanding embarrassment

Where does embarrassment come from?

We created embarrassment. We as a society created this feeling. Not the group project we were hoping for, but at least we made it work perfectly. Let’s just pray our next project is something more constructive.

The feeling of embarrassment is a chain reaction. You do something, somebody does not approve, and embarrassment is your reaction to their negative reaction.

In order to avoid this disapproval, we find ourselves in the middle of excessive self-criticism. Nothing is ever good enough, everything could be rejected by society, and the slightest possibility of embarrassment is paralyzing.

We have sacrificed our authenticity and stopped giving it all we got in exchange for not feeling embarrassed. And somewhere, along the way, forgot the most important thing: we have the final say.

The final say on embarrassment

What I mean by this is that it is your choice to feel embarrassed. If you did something, either you dyed your hair or fell in the middle of your town square, ending up feeling embarrassment is on you.

If someone does not like the way your hair looks now or makes fun of you for falling, that is their feeling. You are the CEO of your emotions, nobody can make you feel embarrassed.

You decided to dye your hair because you wanted to, who cares about what this fella has to say? If this particular individual does not like it, that’s on him, that is his feeling, NOT YOURS.

The choices you make must make sense to you and to you only. As long as you stay true to yourself and your desires, this feeling of embarrassment has no power over you.

The same thing applies if you fell. Of course, you didn’t plan to trip but it happened. If you didn’t hurt yourself, you can either choose to laugh it out or move on with your life.

But beware, belittling yourself and engaging in a self-deprecating behavior is not the right solution either.

Cringe and embarrasadors

I made up this term because I believe that these people that make fun of others are somehow the ambassadors of embarrassment. I feel pity for them and you should too, let me tell you why.

These people are filled with insecurities because how they feel about others is the way they feel about themselves.

Let me put it this way, when you feel cringe or make fun of somebody, that is a sign that something is wrong. Something related to what made you feel this way, that you should start working on.

Feeling embarrassed by what somebody else does, is on you and you should work on it, not the other way around.

Embarrassment is destructive

It breaks my heart to think about all the things we choose not to do, because of what people are going to say and how embarrassing it is going to be if something goes wrong.

If you feel it in your heart that you should do something, then nobody can make you feel embarrassed for following what you truly desire.

Of course, if you are trying to learn French, for instance, your first real conversation in this language is going to be embarrassing, but fun embarrassing, not paralyzing embarrassment.

Embarrassment is never a reason strong enough to stop us from doing what we feel is right for us. This fear of becoming an outcast is building a wall between you and the future you long for. Ask yourself, do all those bricks you used to build this wall belong to you or the people?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this article! I am grateful that I could share my knowledge with you and truly hope it somehow helped you. If there is anything you would like to add or you have another insight on the matter, don’t hesitate to share it with me.

Have a lovely day!