It’s Ok, You Didn’t Know Any Better.

Why did you do that? Because you didn’t know any better, that’s why.

I headed into the interview, and it all seemed fine to me. My conscious mind tried to negotiate a salary, whilst my unconscious mind kept thinking how good of a job it’ll be.

Little did know that I would only last two weeks there, the most toxic workplace that my soul, mind and body had ever witnessed.

You might ask, “why did you take that job in the first place Kunaal?”

My answer? I didn’t know any better, that’s why. Yes, I should have watched out for red flags, but I didn’t know any better.

Am I alone in feeling this way?

Perhaps you had made a bad decision, and now you regret it. Well, I'm here to give you the reassurance that you didn’t know any better, and that’s perfectly ok. You’re not crazy about it.

So long as you’ve learnt from it, it’s perfectly ok.

At the time, I thought that it was the rational thing to do.

At the time, it was the perfect thing to do. Saying yes to everything that was asked of me. Enduring all of the insults mixed with a smile, was something I thought was normal and acceptable on the job.

I thought it was rational to strive towards meeting completely unrealistic expectations and obligations when it was merely a manipulation tactic to get more out of me with barely any pay.

How could I think that the rational thing to do, was never to question the fact that the employer didn’t tick the health and safety box as they should have?

Now that I know better, the rational thing to do was.

• Stand up for unfair criticism
• Not succumb to the culture of favouritism.
• Actually have a proper lunch break.
• Not work an extra 30 minutes for no pay.
• Not settle for unrealistic and unexpected threats towards being laid off.
• Not being afraid to interview the interviewer.

But I didn’t know any better, and now I know better.

The rational thing was to simply leave, that time was better spent looking for other opportunities that would benefit me long term, that’s what ended up happening.

When we don’t know any better, we can't tell apart the red flags from the white ones.

How is it possible? Unless I was pre-informed on the situation. Back then, I'd ask, What does a red flag look like? How do I spot them, what are the consequences of missing these red flags?

Well, I can say for sure that I certainly faced the consequences because I missed those red flags. If only I had done some research first or run it through with someone, I could have known better.

Why did I mix the red flags with the white ones? Because I didn’t know any better.

The damage has been done, now move on.

Looking back, brings up some level of resentment and anger. Not towards them, but myself.

Asking myself.

Why did I let that happen to me?

The simple answer? I didn’t know any better.

Nothing good comes out of dwelling on the past, apart from when we reflect on what went wrong so that we don’t repeat history. Instead of using your energy looking back, why not take your learnings and utilize that same energy to create a better future?

In professional cycling

Looking back messes with your neck, and slows you down. Not very advantageous is it?

Now that I know better, ill have less room for error. By the same token, I don’t live with the fear of making errors, because it stifles my creativity.

I do what I do, with all that I know, and I’m ready to know more.

However, sometimes,

being open to knowing, means being open to vulnerability. Good or bad, either way, we’ll end up knowing and learning something in the end.

Now you know better, teach others to know better.

What good is it knowing something and keeping it to yourself? If you know better, teach others to know better. You’ll also find out that there are other people like you, who also don’t know any better.

This reminds me of a beautiful quote by Vivekananda.

If you win, you can lead. If you lose, you can guide.

In the near future, I hope to create a post to help readers spot red flags when being interviewed for a job. Why? Because I know better, it’s my responsibility to help others to know better.

This can save others time and money, whilst giving me a sense of fulfilment that I was able to help someone else know better.

That’s pretty much sums it up for this post, I think I’ve made myself quite clear of that.

It’s ok that you didn’t know any better.

If you don't know,

now you know.

Thank you for reading.