Summary

The text reflects on the internal conflict between personal growth and romantic relationships, questioning whether one must choose between self-discovery and love.

Abstract

The author delves into the complexities of a relationship that feels both enriching and restrictive, suggesting that the intense connection shared may be hindering individual development. The narrative explores the struggle of balancing the need for self-improvement with the desire to maintain a loving partnership, acknowledging the difficulty of making rational decisions when emotionally entangled. It ponders the idea that true happiness and self-fulfillment might require solitude and self-love, even if it means letting go of a significant other. The author grapples with the fear of making the wrong choice, potentially leading to a life of regret or endless yearning for a past that can never be reclaimed. Ultimately, the piece emphasizes the importance of nurturing one's relationship with oneself to ensure the capacity to love others fully.

Opinions

The author believes that the intensity of their love might be stifling personal growth, creating a shared soul that is both empowering and vulnerability-inducing.
There is a sense of internal war between two aspects of the self, each vying for prominence and completeness.
The text suggests that the control exerted by the loved one, whether conscious or subconscious, is a significant weakness, clouding the author's ability to see the world clearly.
The author expresses a desire to navigate the world without the influence of their love, which currently taints their perception.
A decision is seen as inevitable for the author's growth and self-betterment, involving the risk of transforming into someone they may or may not be able to accept.
The author acknowledges the harsh reality of life, where one must be prepared and strong, hinting at the necessity of sacrificing love for personal development.
The piece conveys the idea that the choices made within a relationship define the person one becomes and that self-love is crucial for true happiness.
The author posits that being single is not synonymous with loneliness and that a rich self-relationship can prevent feelings of isolation.

It’s not you, it’s me.

Thoughts, struggles and revelations - The true meaning behind the break-up line.

Lusaje Photography-Canon 2000D-Cork, Ireland

I need the motivation to do things with my life, I want to be more, to better myself, to find myself, Or maybe simply to create myself. Do I need you to do that?

What if holding on to the person I am with, with you, the people we are together, is what is stunting our growth?

Why is the taste of our love just so bitter sweet?

And my mind burdened by the worry that this love will one day devour us.

I think that because the feelings we share are so intense and the memories so complete, that this is keeping us from creating the room needed for our 3rd trimester of growth. It’s like we’ve given so much of ourselves to one another, that between us, we’ve created another living, breathing, beating life form, and this starved beast is hungry for prominence.

I sense a war brewing within me. Opposing houses, two under-developed personalities fighting to become complete. Both with their seductive allure, and both with an untameable yearning to make themselves whole.

It is this shared soul, (which is the culmination of our past, our pain, our passion and of our love), that is both my greatest strength and most dire weakness; For when you are by my side and we are united, I am empowered. But this only leaves me vulnerable when you are gone. When we are no longer connected, not only within these walls of our physical world but also in spirit.

The control you have over me, whether knowing or subconscious is my greatest weakness. I am blinded by my love for you and it leaves me incapable of seeing the world through untainted eyes. How I long to gaze upon our world without the safety of these rose-coloured glasses…

My heart is filled to the brim with emotion and because of this, the person I have yet to create is the one left with only logic. The power to make the difficult, yet rational decisions necessary for the growth and betterment of my life.

It is a cold and cruel world, where one needs to be fully equipped, with an impenetrable arsenal, For the wolves can smell the fear and prey on our every weakness. But a feeling strong enough to call itself fear can surely not exist without its opposing equal, the only thing with enough power to evoke a feeling this profound and true, goes by the name: ‘Love’.

Do I have to choose between our love and my life? Why can I not have my cake and eat it too?

I have found that the world was not created with this bliss in mind, for there is only enough room for one soul within this vessel. If I do not like the person I am with you, how can I find joy in our love? To allow my undeveloped souls growth to prominence, a decision must be made. A decision that will undoubtedly allow the space necessary to support this growth. The question is: What kind of person am I destined to become? and will I be able to live with myself once the choice is made?

If only I could remain here, sheltered by these cryptic crossroads, evoking an all-powerful emotion within me; The feeling of unadulterated hope and the promise of endless possibilities, a probability forever in my favour. How can I know which path to take? What if I choose wrong and wander down an endless, lonely path never to reach a destination to which I can call home?

What if I choose a path that curses me to endlessly roam this earth as half of who I long to be? My soul intertwined with yours, forever searching for a way back to a time, a time where I stood by these very crossroad. Back to the fresh air of opportunity and possibility. Forever dreaming of what could have been.

It is the choices that we make within these physical walls that bind our soul to the reality we create.

The decisions we make and the person that these actions lead us to become, defines who we choose to spend the rest of our lives with. No matter how much time we spend on nourishing relationships, much more time is spent on our own, with only our thoughts and dreams to keep us company.

You must treasure the bond you have with yourself to have the capacity to enrich the relationships you surround yourself with.

Sometimes you have to let go of a commitment to reconnect with yourself. Being single does not mean you are alone, loneliness can strike in solitude and in a crowd. You are never really alone when you have a fruitful long-lasting affair with yourself.

Make your choices, live your life and love yourself. You’ll never know how happy you can be if you don’t dare to try.